they probably just said they will wait until she is out of there, putting things on hold.
give her time Wife, she has a lot to process now and she is angry and she will need to figure out what a mess her life is now ��and I am sure she is seeing sides of the OM she hasn't seen before and I bet they aren't good, he is putting an incredible amount of pressure on her to control you��..causing trouble in the so call fantasy life is a very very good thing.
sit tight

She just called me and said if I stop with everything, the harrasing etc she will stop with OM, you win. She said I will be divorcing you still, we are done, you are crazy, you need to commit yourself, I'm Fing done about five times, Stop harrasing his kids, stop it you win, Leave me alone, my family and my kid, She was pissed I couldn't get a word in. She just repeated I win, she will stop but she is divorcing me still.

She doesn't get off until 8pm tonight, so I will have to see what happens, she will probably leave her SS at Dads again. I will be calm, I will be pleasent. I'm clam now...., when she called saying she will stop, she called from cell she may of left work early or something b/c she was Mother Fing me..

my WH also wanted me to stop all the exposure. And he wanted a divorce. He even stated they stopped all the contacts.

WD,
Now that you have confronted and finished exposure, time to start thinking about protecting yourself from her lovebusting. She will drain your love bank fast at the rate she is going.

Plan exit strategies for when she engages you in arguments by phone, text, or in person.

I never got a hold of her grandma, she is 87, but she is very well mentaly and physically, she said I better not contact her she is to old, her husband would cheat on her. She loved him and stood by him until he died, she still talks about how great he was...

I know, sometimes when i don't know what to say, I just usually show some sort of empathy, Like I see why you would feel this way.. do you think wife should be sent a link to cheater ville of POSOM

There is no point in sending her to cheaterville to see OM. Also, don't ever validate her nonsense. It is not ok for her to feel that way and don't justify her actions or feelings. You are the victim and her rambling should be dismissed and ignored. DO NOT EVEN ACKNOWLEDGE HER FOGBABBLE. Instead do as Dr. Harley suggest spin her statement. If she say's I can't belive you are this crazy. Simply answer, I agree Affairs are crazy. If she says your actions are terrible. Anser, I agree Affairs are terrible.

I always new in the back of my mind there was another man pushing for this divorce. I do admit, my wife had me fooled for sometime, I would really like to know for how long.

I feel hurt right now, how she just gave up on us, I just thought, I was weathering the storm, it makes me wonder what friends of her knows him. Or maybe they don't.

I have to go and read that book again, good points txt

use the affair word a lot when we put a spin on what they are saying

I need a break

Learned, had a great point, about once the affair was going on the marriage was already dead, see in my case it had been going on without my knowledge, and this scumbag comes into my wifes life promising her the world and God only knows what, I was wondering why she kept telling me, I don't want to work on it etc...I have to focus and get back on track.

I know its easy to blame the OM but don't lose sight of the role WW played. She has poor boundaries and this absolutely must be protected against in the future if you have one together. Don't think she was the victim of some preying man. She willingly and enjoyably took part in the A and she will again if you don't eliminate conditions that make her A possible.

During this rollercoaster ride of emotions, you will also need to ensure that you take care of yourself.

Are you eating and sleeping as well as can be expected?

What about some physical activities with some friend(s)?

Make sure that you are a desirable option and be as upbeat and busy as you can find the time to be.

What activity or hobby can you do to partially take your mind off the situation temporarily on a semi-regular basis?

Exercise is a good natural endorphine release.

Also, just to point this out to you, since you have been making so many posts and getting loads of responses, it would help to use the "Quote" function when you are directing your replies to a specific earlier comment, so that the back and forth communication seems to make more sense to someone popping in.

LTL

The marriage IS NOT dead. But her love bank is closed. And it will stay closed as long as the affair is thriving. You have done a lot of damage to the affair. The last shot to be fired is to share with your wife what the ex-wife said. Once the fantasy ends, she will start to get out of the fog and she will see things for what they are.

Your wife is probably trying to get you quiet by saying, "You win." She wants you to stop contacting people so that she can move the divorce quietly and be with her POSOM. Her plan is a quick, quiet divorce. You have not accommodated her, so she is stark raving mad.

At this point, you have applied the carrot and stick of Plan A very well. There is not much left to do with the stick. But the profound hurt she has unleashed on you--the utter betrayal--will start to empty your love bank. If she continues her horrendous behavior, you can always ask her to leave the house, and offer her the chance to return when she ends her affair. Then you can Plan A from a distance. In the meantime, continue to do the awesome things you've been doing this week to show her you are a good, loving husband.

I will make sure, I use the quote, I have been sleeping about 5 hours a night, I know its not enough, I have lost weight, I do eat, I just think it might be the stress of everything. its getting warmer out, so that will help with me going out and excersing.

I just sent an email to the priest who married us, she likes him and has a lot of respect for him. I know my wife was trying to get a hold of him for SS school reference letter, so I hope he calls me back...

It's called the infidelity diet.

Yes, i needed to lose weight at my time, but not 67 pounds the way it happened.

What about some of your friends going out for a bowling night?

What about a gym via your Police Department?

Maybe now you could sign up for those Martial Arts classes you always thought about, or something else that would be fun?

Be prepared for her next raging storm and idle threats. Then go about your life. Still think of some thoughtful gestures you can continue doing daily.


LTL

I do have to tell you, being a cop is not what everyone thinks it is. Its a thankless job at times...I actually hate it at times, because I believe it has made me become a different person. I actually have just let being a cop go when I get home and you know what my wife noticed those changes right away. I went back to that 25 year old guy who was funny, adventures,caring,kind, compasionate,loving and she noticed this, thats how I was before I became a cop. When I married my wife I was like that 25 yr old guy, she brought that out, and then I had to go back and be that cop, sarcastic,dark sense of humor, afraid to go anywhere, didn't want to be around people, close minded. I own up to my faults, but I would never leave my wife. I did that once and I vowed to never do it again, no matter how hard or tough things our, here I am fighting for my marriage, I know my wife plays a roll in this to for letting her boundries down etc... I just want to bring her home and turn this new marriage into a marriage that will a 1000 times greater than when we first met...I pray everday for her...