Welcome to the
Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum

This is a community where people come in search of marriage related support, answers, or encouragement. Also, information about the Marriage Builders principles can be found in the books available for sale in the Marriage Builders® Bookstore.
If you would like to join our guidance forum, please read the Announcement Forum for instructions, rules, & guidelines.
The members of this community are peers and not professionals. Professional coaching is available by clicking on the link titled Coaching Center at the top of this page.
We trust that you will find the Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum to be a helpful resource for you. We look forward to your participation.
Once you have reviewed all the FAQ, tech support and announcement information, if you still have problems that are not addressed, please e-mail the administrators at mbrestored@gmail.com
Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Page 81 of 108 1 2 79 80 81 82 83 107 108
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985
Likes: 1
M
Member
Offline
Member
M
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985
Likes: 1
I still think you need to play with her and the OM by spoon feeding them information about "sightings" from onlookers.

How about calling her GF and telling her about these sightings in the hopes she will feed it to your wife?

Wait and see if your wife reacts. If she doesn't react, then send her a text saying:

"another report from OM's neighborhood that you were seen at his house yesterday at 9 am and then again at 7pm. Please end your affair now!"


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985
Likes: 1
M
Member
Offline
Member
M
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985
Likes: 1
And I would do this BEFORE she comes home so they don't suspect you are retrieving something from the car.


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


Joined: Oct 2011
Posts: 395
I
Member
Offline
Member
I
Joined: Oct 2011
Posts: 395
Can you identify a leader at a higher level in the church hierarchy to call? Go over the head of the level where OM has applied spin control.

How about calling pastor's wife?

You can be relentless too!


Me 58: FWH (NC 32 yr), W 60, married 36 yr, DD 32
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985
Likes: 1
M
Member
Offline
Member
M
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985
Likes: 1
"as your loving husband it grieves me tremendously to see you being used as a booty call for an uncaring, disrespectful man who is just using you."


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


Joined: Mar 2014
Posts: 912
W
Member
OP Offline
Member
W
Joined: Mar 2014
Posts: 912
Originally Posted by MelodyLane
[quote=wifedivorcing]Why do I feel like i'm losing this battle?? What does this guy have??? How can he have this much juce s to speak. I need to figure a stratedgy out.

You just feel like you are losing because you haven't seen how this plays out. You do have a strategy and that is to continue to look for opportunities to make lovebank deposits and continue to compete with this selfish, thoughtless turd.

Their affair is crumbling as we speak because of your exposure. They are boxed into a corner right now and the traits that made the affair possible, thoughtlessness, selfishness and deceit will eventually make their way into the affair. This guy is a user and a loser and that will become clear soon enough.

This affair can't go far because your wife will have to keep this a secret or she will be proven a LIAR. So what does she do? Continue to hide like a cockroach?

95% of affairs die within 2 years. 65% of marriages don't end over affairs. So guess who my money is on??

You just need to chill and do your best to show that you are the best option. You ARE the best option over this scumbag. [/quote

Thanks Mel, you know how to pump me up. 2yrs is a long time. I sure hope this one dies fast. I think I'm going to get the homless guys with signs saying STOP THE ADULTERY OM as they walk back and forth infront of the church, of course on the public sidewalk, I will pay them good. Good old fashion freedom of speech


ME46
WW 38
D-day 2/13/14

Ephesians 5:11-13
11 Do not participate in the unfruitful deeds of darkness, but rather expose them.
Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 1,820
J
Member
Offline
Member
J
Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 1,820
when she speaks of selling house tell her to talk to her lawyer not you.
I agree with Melody she needs to know you have real proof of the timelines right now she may think you are bluffing and the times and dates just luckily match up.
They will believe a second sighting
Nice her to death I don't know how you deal with it the lies, I guess being a cop helps I would want to wring her neck by now�..I do remember when I went through i had a calmness about me too. Don't know how I guess we just know if we don't carry them when they are so lost and stand up for the family it will crumble, and we will lose our marriages but it's hard�

stay strong


BW 56
WH 57
Married 25 years, live together for 2, dated 2 years before that.....
DS 23, DS 25
D-Day Nov 23/09
NC Mar 1/10
Working on Recovery
Grateful for finding Marriage Builders
Joined: Oct 2011
Posts: 395
I
Member
Offline
Member
I
Joined: Oct 2011
Posts: 395
Any chance you could get OM XW to call GF to report the sighting of WW?

That would really throw WW off the scent of where the reports are coming from!

Also XW could spin it as not wanting OM to ruin more lives. Could play well with GF.


Me 58: FWH (NC 32 yr), W 60, married 36 yr, DD 32
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985
Likes: 1
M
Member
Offline
Member
M
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985
Likes: 1
Originally Posted by wifedivorcing
Thanks Mel, you know how to pump me up. 2yrs is a long time. I sure hope this one dies fast. I think I'm going to get the homless guys with signs saying STOP THE ADULTERY OM as they walk back and forth infront of the church, of course on the public sidewalk, I will pay them good. Good old fashion freedom of speech

And believe me, if I thought this was hopeless I would tell you. There are no guarantees but you have a good chance of getting her back.


I would not picket his church, I would go for his BUSINESS.

Steve Harley gave this advice to a doctor on our forum whose wife was having an affair with a guy who owned a landscape nursery:

Quote
I spoke with Steve 2 days after I spoke with OM. I told him our conversation and Steve basically agreed that this guy is just evil and manipulative. That it appears he is practiced/rehearsed and has some wierd control over my WW. He wanted me to talk to my lawyer and get more legal advice. He believes I should consider going after OM to drive him away as it is clear my WW is not willing to walk away from him. He suggested things like putting a sign up outside his business to inform the public of his adulterous behavior, more phone calls to him and his children,and XW but to be careful not to overdo it and make them a team against me.


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


Joined: Mar 2014
Posts: 912
W
Member
OP Offline
Member
W
Joined: Mar 2014
Posts: 912
I just printed the playerblock of him I think I will print a few hundred and have them delivered near his business, etc.. I should have them delivered in his neighborhood.

I jus talk to WW I was making small talk and she questioned it why are you talking to me, isaid just alking, asked how SS was doing in math and asked if we can get him another tooter, any time I said we or us, she said there is no we, she would wall up for a second but then continued to talk to me about SS. I sent him a pic of DD on the go-kart, I told he needs to drive it and have some fun. they are on there way here.


ME46
WW 38
D-day 2/13/14

Ephesians 5:11-13
11 Do not participate in the unfruitful deeds of darkness, but rather expose them.
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985
Likes: 1
M
Member
Offline
Member
M
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985
Likes: 1
Originally Posted by wifedivorcing
I just printed the playerblock of him I think I will print a few hundred and have them delivered near his business, etc.. I should have them delivered in his neighborhood.

I jus talk to WW I was making small talk and she questioned it why are you talking to me, isaid just alking, asked how SS was doing in math and asked if we can get him another tooter, any time I said we or us, she said there is no we, she would wall up for a second but then continued to talk to me about SS. I sent him a pic of DD on the go-kart, I told he needs to drive it and have some fun. they are on there way here.

Great!!


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985
Likes: 1
M
Member
Offline
Member
M
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985
Likes: 1
LOOK for an opportunity to let slip that you know she was with the OM yesterday. She needs to know people are watching.


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


Joined: Mar 2014
Posts: 912
W
Member
OP Offline
Member
W
Joined: Mar 2014
Posts: 912
Wife is here. If looks could kill. I started talking to her and she like what is wrong with you, you're crazy you want to talk to me now but you didn't yesterday. I just told her that I had to digest the pain I felt when I found out she was with OM when I was in the hospital. She told me if I only new half of it and it's not what you think. I asked to go ahead and tell me. I'm listening so maybe I can understand it. She refused. I told her that I care about her and SS and if she stopped her affair we can rebuild this marriage and family. She started to say I'm only going to.talk to you about divorce how about that. I told her I know she was seen again at his house. She kept who is following me I'm going to get a PPO. She even said what do you have a GPS on my car. I just listened. She threaten to hit me if I didn't get out of her face. I then asked about her nails. I said wow those are nice. She shower them to me. I touched her cheek like there was something on it. She let me. She is angry though. I went outside to take a break. SS gave me dirty looks and locked himself in his bedroom. The wife told me to get it through my thick head we are getting divorced. I never raised my voice so she said I'm crazy and I do need the drugs they wanted to give me she said the only reason I got out was because of her. That hurt. I just smiled. And walked away.


ME46
WW 38
D-day 2/13/14

Ephesians 5:11-13
11 Do not participate in the unfruitful deeds of darkness, but rather expose them.
Joined: Mar 2014
Posts: 912
W
Member
OP Offline
Member
W
Joined: Mar 2014
Posts: 912
Why is she here cleaning this house. I already cleaned it. It smelled like warm cake. I asked her ifshe wanted some she said no. I don't want anything from you. She is pretty pissed.


ME46
WW 38
D-day 2/13/14

Ephesians 5:11-13
11 Do not participate in the unfruitful deeds of darkness, but rather expose them.
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,440
Likes: 4
B
Member
Offline
Member
B
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,440
Likes: 4
Are you still carrying a VAR on you while she is around?


FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.



Joined: Mar 2014
Posts: 912
W
Member
OP Offline
Member
W
Joined: Mar 2014
Posts: 912
She's now taking pictures of the kitchen with her cell phone. I believe a releator would take there own picture. I can see the anger in face. Just so ugly.


ME46
WW 38
D-day 2/13/14

Ephesians 5:11-13
11 Do not participate in the unfruitful deeds of darkness, but rather expose them.
Joined: Mar 2014
Posts: 912
W
Member
OP Offline
Member
W
Joined: Mar 2014
Posts: 912
[quote=BrainHurts]Are you still carrying a VAR on you while she is around? [/quote

Yes I have my var on.


ME46
WW 38
D-day 2/13/14

Ephesians 5:11-13
11 Do not participate in the unfruitful deeds of darkness, but rather expose them.
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985
Likes: 1
M
Member
Offline
Member
M
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985
Likes: 1
Love it!! Good job. Be sure and sign out of MB when you leave the computer.


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


Joined: Mar 2014
Posts: 912
W
Member
OP Offline
Member
W
Joined: Mar 2014
Posts: 912
I noticed my WW allergies were bothering her so I got her an allergy pill and a glass of water, She somewhat jokingly said what are trying to do kill me. I told her I love my marriage and family. I'm just wanting to keep it together. She told me I scare her with my behavior, I asked how am I doing this. She said because I'm not getting my way and I'll probably kill her. I again just said I'm just wanting to keep our family together , she said just give up.

I'm on my cell phone and I cleared all the history from pc

Last edited by wifedivorcing; 04/12/14 04:07 PM.

ME46
WW 38
D-day 2/13/14

Ephesians 5:11-13
11 Do not participate in the unfruitful deeds of darkness, but rather expose them.
Joined: May 2008
Posts: 2,589
A
Member
Offline
Member
A
Joined: May 2008
Posts: 2,589
WD,

Just a thought. Is there a possibility that WW is recording you, hoping to get you to say something about killing her, so she could get you into the hospital again?

AM


BW - 70
WH - 65
M - 35 years
D-day - 17 Apr 08
H broke contact 11/1/09
Back in love after the worst thing that every happened to us.
Joined: Mar 2012
Posts: 577
N
Member
Offline
Member
N
Joined: Mar 2012
Posts: 577
WD
Didnt you say in your state Adultery is a crime still on the books.
Why dont you go that route next week, figure out how to file a complaint for that and push it through.
Your wife is acting like a child. Her actions are all bratty teenage responses.
You are doing great. CALM and COOL as a cucumber.

Page 81 of 108 1 2 79 80 81 82 83 107 108

Link Copied to Clipboard
Forum Search
Who's Online Now
0 members (), 497 guests, and 39 robots.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Newest Members
Bibbyryan860, Ian T, SadNewYorker, Jay Handlooms, GrenHeil
71,838 Registered Users
Building Marriages That Last A Lifetime
Copyright © 1995-2019, Marriage Builders®. All Rights Reserved.
Site Navigation
Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 7.7.5