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See if you can find her sister, mother or brother on Facebook and look at their contacts. You can also have the PI do a background ck to get her parents and family contacts.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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She probably just blocked you. Can your friend see her page? Nope, she took her page down. had a friend check...
BS 2 kids- 10yo DS, 5yo DD Divorced since 12/11/15
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She probably just blocked you. Can your friend see her page? Nope, she took her page down. had a friend check... Well the PI should be able to get her family information for you. Or you can do an online background check and then you should have some family members and then you can check their Facebooks. Is he still in CA with you or has he flown back to UT?
FWW/BW (me) WH 2nd M for both Blended Family with 7 kids between us Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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Is he still in CA with you or has he flown back to UT? He is on a flight back right now. PI is ready to start when he arrives!
BS 2 kids- 10yo DS, 5yo DD Divorced since 12/11/15
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I would start gathering your information for exposure. Have you read my exposure thread? Please go read that and start putting together a plan.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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***EDIT***
Sora, please check your email.
Last edited by Ariel; 05/18/14 04:33 PM.
H51 WS53 S21,S15 DD3 2/12/14 WS moved home 4/17/14 Began sharing bed 5/3/14
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question- My lease is running our may 31- with the lease just in his name and me as an "occupant." Should I ask him to put me as a 2nd leaseholder along with him or ask for it to just be in my name.
Just wondering how it would benefit/be held against me either way. - if it's in just his or both than he would have access/keys. - if it's mine then would that make me soley responsible? If I do Plan B it will PISS HIM OFF and might not pay the rent on the 1st just to screw me. (though he swears up and down that he would never screw me and the kids.)
BS 2 kids- 10yo DS, 5yo DD Divorced since 12/11/15
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Is your name on the lease now?
FWW/BW (me) WH 2nd M for both Blended Family with 7 kids between us Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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question- My lease is running our may 31- with the lease just in his name and me as an "occupant." Should I ask him to put me as a 2nd leaseholder along with him or ask for it to just be in my name.
Just wondering how it would benefit/be held against me either way. - if it's in just his or both than he would have access/keys. - if it's mine then would that make me soley responsible? If I do Plan B it will PISS HIM OFF and might not pay the rent on the 1st just to screw me. (though he swears up and down that he would never screw me and the kids.) Yes, you would be solely responsible if you are the only one on the lease...or jointly if you put your name on it. I would not put your name on the lease and don't see how you could qualify for it anyway since you are a SAHM. Without being on the lease, you can walk away if you need to. I thought this OW lived in UT but since she lives nearby you don't want to live near an AP should you go for Recovery either. Is the landlord willing to do a short term lease for three months?
BW - me exWH - serial cheater 2 awesome kids Divorced 12/2011
Many a good man has failed because he had a wishbone where his backbone should have been.
We gain strength, and courage, and confidence by each experience in which we really stop to look fear in the face... we must do that which we think we cannot. --------Eleanor Roosevelt
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Is your name on the lease now? No, I am listed as an "occupant" but not a leaseholder
BS 2 kids- 10yo DS, 5yo DD Divorced since 12/11/15
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Is your name on the lease now? No, I am listed as an "occupant" but not a leaseholder Well that's good then because you can walk away when you want. Do you have somewhere you can move to, if need be, when you go into Plan B?
FWW/BW (me) WH 2nd M for both Blended Family with 7 kids between us Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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So how were your last Plan A moments with him?
FWW/BW (me) WH 2nd M for both Blended Family with 7 kids between us Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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Yes, you would be solely responsible if you are the only one on the lease...or jointly if you put your name on it. I would not put your name on the lease and don't see how you could qualify for it anyway since you are a SAHM. Without being on the lease, you can walk away if you need to.
I thought this OW lived in UT but since she lives nearby you don't want to live near an AP should you go for Recovery either. Is the landlord willing to do a short term lease for three months? - The office did indeed say that I could probably qualify because it's a point system that includes: credit (mine is great), previous rent history (we've lived her 5 years and it's good) and I could claim income showing bank statements which are currently in my husband's and my name. - The OW DOES live in UT as far as I know (his co-worker).... there is a PI there now looking to get evidence.(sorry I just re-read my post and it was confusing. He was on a flight back to Utah. He is there now and will be there through Thursday. - There might indeed by yet another OW here but I'm not sure...
BS 2 kids- 10yo DS, 5yo DD Divorced since 12/11/15
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I could claim income showing bank statements which are currently in my husband's and my name. Never heard of such a thing. Either way I wouldn't recommend you putting your name on the lease.
BW - me exWH - serial cheater 2 awesome kids Divorced 12/2011
Many a good man has failed because he had a wishbone where his backbone should have been.
We gain strength, and courage, and confidence by each experience in which we really stop to look fear in the face... we must do that which we think we cannot. --------Eleanor Roosevelt
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So how were your last Plan A moments with him? Good but not perfect. We had a good time friday and saturday and I did well and we laughed but when I went out last night nd checked the possible OW2's facebook page saying "Planning for my future :)" It really messed me up and I had trouble keeping the happy facade. I didn't explode or accuse but I wasn't happy. Throughout the weekend he said things like "this is so hard" and "I am so lost" and "this seems like the worst decision and the best." and was teary here and there. And I did well just listening and not saying anything and hugging him back when he hugged me. But just before he had to leave he was pretty adamant that we are on a "break" and I said "to me we aren't" and he said "yes we are, do you need me to file papers to make it final?" I just went silent. I know I should have tried harder and changed the subject... i know... His go to argument is that I don't contribute financially (I am a SAHM and he makes $200K!" but we live in Los Angeles, with our son in private school and he is tired of not living like how he wants. (maybe he could save more money if he wasn't buying OW stuff!)
BS 2 kids- 10yo DS, 5yo DD Divorced since 12/11/15
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Since your family isn't close by (except your Dad who you said you aren't close to), are you set on staying in CA no matter what happens?
Is WH's employer based in CA or UT? Where is his boss located?
BW - me exWH - serial cheater 2 awesome kids Divorced 12/2011
Many a good man has failed because he had a wishbone where his backbone should have been.
We gain strength, and courage, and confidence by each experience in which we really stop to look fear in the face... we must do that which we think we cannot. --------Eleanor Roosevelt
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Never heard of such a thing. Either way I wouldn't recommend you putting your name on the lease. Ok, thank you.
BS 2 kids- 10yo DS, 5yo DD Divorced since 12/11/15
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[His go to argument is that I don't contribute financially (I am a SAHM and he makes $200K!" but we live in Los Angeles, with our son in private school and he is tired of not living like how he wants. (maybe he could save more money if he wasn't buying OW stuff!) Is he trying to persuade you to get a job?
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Is he trying to persuade you to get a job? Yes. I have a 1 year old and my priority is raising her.... we are far from struggling. I have a company that I started that has teachers bringing children's dance classes to schools (as well as a swimming program). It brings in some money but not a lot. It pays for my car note and a few incidentals. I have an assistant who does the admin part (which I am horrible at) and he is saying that I should fire her and do it myself. I attempted to do the admin in the beginning and I couldn't- it took me 3 times as long as someone with admin skills PLUS the fact that I have a 1 year old running around. When my littlest turns 2 and is in preschool I would be glad to contribute the best I can- maybe with a part time job or trying to grow my current company. When he met me I was a struggling part-time actress/model dance instructor. He said he wanted to "take care of me" so I didn't have to worry and I could pursue the acting. I did at first but then I got pregnant and my priority became being a SAHM. When my 1st born turned 3 I taught a couple of dance classes which brought in some money but not a lot. The OW is a career woman- a sales woman at his company so I think he is attracted to that. (she has no kids)
BS 2 kids- 10yo DS, 5yo DD Divorced since 12/11/15
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I think the attraction lies in having to provide you LESS support in the future when he divorces you. He is not thinking of you, but of himself. He is operating on pure self interest right now. I am sorry.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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