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On second thought, I guess I will be introducing the whole topic of extraordinary precautions at the same time. I want to do this right, I may only get one shot at it. That's why you want to EXPOSE, ASAP. There's not a whole lot of sense talking about extraordinary precautions until you expose.
If you are serious about saving your marriage, you can't get it all on this forum. You've got to listen to the Marriage Builders Radio show, every day. Install the app! Married to my radiant trophy wife, Prisca, 19 years. Father of 8. Attended Marriage Builders weekend in May 2010 If your wife is not on board with MB, some of my posts to other men might help you.
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Markos, thank you, I will use that, I like simple. I want to avoid her Gaslighting me, as JK has previously brought to my attention.
Married 37 years
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DD- married
No grandkids
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I'm confused as to why you don't think you have enough evidence to expose. You saw messages between her and OM. She refuses to give up this friendship.
Why don't you think you have enough?
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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BrainHurts,
That is true, I viewed a conversation between my wife and OM, that conversation was just catching up other than she started out by apologizing for not contacting him because it bothers me. She also indicated she wanted to keep in closer touch. My wife's perspective was that she was just checking on OM brother and mother who were both ill.
I do not have a copy of that conversation. If I do not have the evidence, but only my recollection of the of conversation. Is that enough?
Married 37 years
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DD- married
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My wife's perspective was that she was just checking on OM brother and mother who were both ill. My perspective is that a marriage can't survive if one spouse wants to offer care and concern for people when the other spouse isn't enthusiastic!
If you are serious about saving your marriage, you can't get it all on this forum. You've got to listen to the Marriage Builders Radio show, every day. Install the app! Married to my radiant trophy wife, Prisca, 19 years. Father of 8. Attended Marriage Builders weekend in May 2010 If your wife is not on board with MB, some of my posts to other men might help you.
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What is your evidence of an affair?
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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BrainHurts,
That is true, I viewed a conversation between my wife and OM, that conversation was just catching up other than she started out by apologizing for not contacting him because it bothers me. She also indicated she wanted to keep in closer touch. My wife's perspective was that she was just checking on OM brother and mother who were both ill.
I do not have a copy of that conversation. If I do not have the evidence, but only my recollection of the of conversation. Is that enough? Was this a romantic conversation?
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Markos, I need to get better at telling my wife that with respect but clearly making my feeling clear.
Married 37 years
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MelodyLane, no it was not, other than the two things I mentioned. She had previously told me she would tell me if she contacted OM, and she did not do this. She also deleted the messages to the OM when the conversation was over.
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MelodyLane, no it was not, other than the two things I mentioned. She had previously told me she would tell me if she contacted OM, and she did not do this. She also deleted the messages to the OM when the conversation was over. Do you have ANY evidence of an affair? SEe, I don't think there is really an affair, maybe an inappropriate attraction that is definitely on the wrong path. On that basis I would approach her with extraordinary precautions and ask her to end her contact with him. I would definitely keep up the snooping, because with her pisspoor boundaries she is headed for an affair. And more importantly, I would work double hard on creating a romantic relationship wtih her. She will be less tempted if you have a passionate marriage.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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MelodyLane, The only physical evidence of an affair is a conversation my wife on FB messenger, and I took a screenshot of it. I have not been able to get evidence in the last 5 months. I feel stuck.
Married 37 years
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MelodyLane, The only physical evidence of an affair is a conversation my wife on FB messenger, and I took a screenshot of it. I have not been able to get evidence in the last 5 months. I feel stuck. What is the evidence?
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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melodyLane, the Emotional affair began 4 yrs ago. It included weekly or daily contact with many text messages going back and forth. It included reminiscing about previous sexual experiences and talk by him of them being together again. It slowed way down when. He got a new girlfriend.
Married 37 years
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So if you have seen this evidence, why aren't you exposing this and nipping it in the bud?
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Evidence, I have had a VAR in her car and spyware on her phone. I have not picked up any contact. I want to start EP even though I did not get any evidence or expose since I have none.
Married 37 years
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DD- married
No grandkids
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You do undrstand that witness testimony is admissable in court? You don't have to have actual film footage and signed confessions.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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melodyLane, the Emotional affair began 4 yrs ago. It included weekly or daily contact with many text messages going back and forth. It included reminiscing about previous sexual experiences and talk by him of them being together again. It slowed way down when. He got a new girlfriend. The above is evicence if you saw this yourself.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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I have seen the evidence at the time, but I can not produce it for anyone.
Married 37 years
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Evidence, I have had a VAR in her car and spyware on her phone. I have not picked up any contact. I want to start EP even though I did not get any evidence or expose since I have none. But you already HAD evidence. You don't need to pick up NEW evidence to epxose an affair. Even if the affair is over, it should still be exposed.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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I have seen the evidence at the time, but I can not produce it for anyone. Your witness testimony is sufficient. It is sufficient in a court of law.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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