I'm grateful to you for pointing this out. I do think that if my goal is to try and see her perspective and engage her in dialogue with us, I'm failing if my words drive her away.

I'll try again!

I'm going to ask you, because it might be quicker to get a full answer than asking fc, who finds it hard to write at length:

How do you come to decisions on what to do in UA time?

Your wife does not seem to enjoy what you do. It doesn't seem to make any LB deposits. (I know that UA time has not been possible since you moved.)

What are the constraints that stop you doing a wider variety of things?

We're very lucky, because we live in the best city in the world, and also on the edge of the beautiful British countryside. If we went to free art galleries, museums, public talks, riverside concerts, walks around Jack the Ripper's London, visits to market stalls, food festivals, ancient monuments and country walks every day for the rest of our lives we would not be able to do everything twice. None of what we normally do costs any money at all, except for bus fare. We haven't been to the cinema in a year because there is so much else to do here.

But I appreciate that it's different for everybody because we don't all live in cities, so I'm trying to find out what you could do in your area that costs little money and that makes you talk and laugh with each other.

When we were younger, before my husband 's knees gave out, we liked paying tennis, badminton or squash. You can play those games without being competitive, practising your strokes and helping each other. These can be quite intimate games, and they are fun. (Some things, like running, which we also did for a while, are not such fun for me because they are such hard work.) Here, we can hire courts in the public park or a leisure centre quite cheaply. Is there anything like that you can do?

What do you normally do?

Groupon, livingsocial and befrugal are great ways to find new activities and meals at a discount.

We've done the following activities that I can think of off of the top of my head:

Movies
Dinner
Dancing (We went to an 80s / 90s themed dance club)
Comedy Club
Bowling
Carriage Ride
Ghost Tour
Shopping in various forms
Gym
Running
Amusement Park (We have season tickets)
Billiards
Trivia night at a bar/restaurant (won a few times)
Vacation to the mountains
We went to a live stage production once
Concerts several times
Murder mystery theater
Just strolling through uptown
Just riding around in the car

We do live in / near a good sized city. It's not London, but there are things to do.

That reminds me, a few weeks ago we went to a local science museum that opens up at night to adults only. They setup a DJ and have drinks and special things going on.

Thanks, ftf. I'll ask her about what she enjoys the most.

Where are you with the antidepressants?

I would have LOVED that, but do you think fc enjoyed it?

It sounded better than it was. It was only their second time doing it, and I think they underestimated the amount of people that would show up. It was very crowded.

I don't think either of us thought it was that great that particular night. We may try it again.

I have an appointment next week to see the doc. I was told they will have a series of questions for me to answer.

Did you really reopen your Facebook account?

Yes I did.

Was this not an EP for FC? Why don't you think you should follow the same EPs? Are they not the same for the both of you?

You did this on your own? Doing IB? Do you think that was a love buster?

ftf, don't you start this with us. We have enough trouble prising information from fc. It comes to something when we are posting more than you are and it's your marriage. Look at the number of posts the two of you have received today. People are bending over backwards for your marriage!

You know very well that Brainy is asking you to explain this extraordinary decision. Why did you think you could re-open this account when presumably you closed it as a joint EP? And what made you think it was okay to re-open it without fc's enthusiastic agreement?

And what are you going to do about it now you can see the hurt it has caused?

Reopening your facebook account only makes FC feel like EPs are a punishment for HER, instead of a way of life you both live.

I am very curious why you reopened it.

I did it because there is a neighborhood Facebook page. The neighbors kept talking about all of the things on there and I wanted to see for myself. All of the community announcements are on that page. For example, yesterday, someone posted that they had a free grill if anybody wanted it. On Saturday, there was a community football game announced in the rec field.

The only reason I am uncomfortable with Fc having a page is because the OM has a Facebook page and she knows he does. I asked her if she could resist going to look at it and she was very honest in telling me that she would be tempted.

I agree that she is upset that she does not also have a Facebook page. She says she does not care that I have a Facebook page, only that she wants one as well.

I can get rid of it, but it doesn't solve the problem.

She wants one as well because you have one. This would not have been a problem if you hadn't re-opened yours.

If you get rid of it, that WILL solve the problem. Assuming that it won't is yet another DJ from you.

FTF,

Do you have the same EPs as FC?

I can get rid of the FB page, but I resent having to do it. But I will do it again and not reopen it if it bothers her that she cannot have one too.

No, we do not have all of the same EPs. The most glaring example being that I work and she does not.