Your WW could be looking at pictures or other things that remind her of him as an gets her affair fix. All it takes is for her to keep reading old emails or get another phone.

Were the divorce papers filled out? Don't worry about her threats until you've been served.

You need to verify that there is 100% NC. Be the best husband and do your best Plan A, no love busters and meet as many of her ENs as you can.

Have you read the Jon an Sue story in SAA?

No they are not filled out, yes I read the story, there is no contact, his fb is gone, and ii went through her fb and erased anything that had to do with him.

IGNORED

Regardless of whether OM's W has spyware - has ZERO impact on whether you should have spyware installed from your side.

This affair is not over.

Yes it only works if phone is backed up by icloud. Any other spyware I try will not work unless the iphone is jail broken, and that isn't going to happen.
I believe she has sombody persuading her in this, sil maybe. I do believe the affair is over though, she has not been without me at all.

Absolutely nothing from her, I woke up, cleaned the entire house, fid the kids, had a cup of coffee for her when she woke up. Last night, she just wanted to be left alone, so I gave that to her. She won't talk unless it has to do with the kids. Her phone was backed up last night, and there is nothing on there at all that points to her partners.

Guys I just don't know what to do, she just completely shut me out again, and gets angry at every little thing. If I make small talk she gets mad, but she will talk about something and I'll just listen. I've been reading htsa, but nothing helps when she is just shutting every little thing out. I litterly have no where to go to, and neither does she. We can't afford for one of is to move out, and don't really have a choice to live together for a while. Hopefully if I maintain a possitive attitude, and still try to be a husband to her, maybe in a month or 2 she will change her mind.

Teensafe only works once the phone has been backed up to the cloud. There are specific (and easy) instructions right on teen safe for being sure that the cloud backup is on. It backs up automatically to the cloud once per day, and you just need to sign in under the "child's" iTunes account to view all of the previous day's phone activity.

DO you have the password for your wife's phone and her iTunes account? You do not need her PHONE to access the info, you just have to sign onto teen safe each time you snoop (and it will also give you real time GPS). If you do not have those passwords, then no of course it will not work.

There must be total transparency in your marriage in order to begin recovery. You do not TELL your wife that you are snooping or how you are snooping, but if she has not given you those passwords, then she is still hiding her A.

Yes I have all her passwords, and the auto backup does me no good, I don't own a computer, and have no internet or wifi, and it won't work at a hot spot because the phone needs to be pluged in.

I don't know how else to tell you except to repeat myself. She is either in contact with OM1 or OM2 or there is an OM3. It is up to you to figure out a way to snoop on her. Where there is a will there is a way. We have been struggling to get you to do this from beginning of the thread.

Nothing is going to work if any C is being made at all. When you are ready to snoop, let us know and then we can help you. Good luck.

Sir, this is a good thing.
It's good that she's broke because it may give you a better chance of turning this around.
Please stay focused on the plan: Do Plan A. Try to meet her needs; and AVOID Love Busters.

DO NOT ARGUE WITH HER!

Pretend that a video camera crew is following you around every time you converse with her. What will the audience think? What would the MB forum say if they watched you on reality television?

While you plan A, continue to snoop for any ongoing affair.

This is a very real possibility since she was two timing not only her husband but OM1 while sleeping with OM2!

Another thing you should consider is getting a voice activated recorder and secretly hiding it and recording your conversations with her. MANY men are falsely accused of assault and then the cheating wife will get the man kicked out by the police and move in the deadbeat boyfriend.....while getting court orders to garnish your paycheck!!!!

So, CYA!

I am continuing to snoop, I have vars, gps, there is nothing more I can do to snoop. She actually talked to me last night. She just says she is unhappy. There is some things from our past that she just can't let go of. She says she forgives, but can't forget. A lot of emotion actually came out from her, about past resentments, she says she just isn't 100% into it, and just doesn't love me like a wife should. She loves me for the father that I am, and what we used to have. She is looking at her life, and says she is only 30, and just wants to be happy, and that there is nothing inpitcular that makes her un happy with me. She just says we were young, and moved too fast, and she just doesn't want to be with me because she is trapped.

She wants to remain good friends, and wants to still do things together, like birthday parties, and dinners with the kids once in a while.
But she is ready to get the ball rolling, and just wants out.
She says there is no chance, even in the future for reconciliation, because she doesn't want it at all. I figure that we have around 6 monthes, to live together, she wants to file within the next month, then wants to leave when she finds a job, and can get on her feet.
I feel like I failed her. I want to fix this, but it doesn't seem like I have a chance. No matter what I do, she knows she just will never be in love with me.

I hope you don't engage in these talks with her.
Your answer to everything should be: I am willing to work with you to create a loving romantic marriage but you must first end your affairs and follow a program of recovery."

You need to sound like a broken record.

I do sound like a broken record believe me, that's basically what I tell her too. She reassures me that it has nothing to do with the affairs. She asked me to stop saying I love you before bed, that it just makes it harder for her.
I just don't know, I am trying to keep faith, and I am trying to keep hope, but as adamant as she is about not being happy with our marriage, I'm not sure if she will ever change her mind. She is a stubborn person, and when something is in her head, she very rarely changes her mind.

Have you read SAA?

I am reading it now.

Have you read the story about Sue and Jon, yet?

Yes I did.
Nothing seems like it matters to her. I cleaned the kitchen this morning, and she got mad saying I told you last night I wanted to do it. Everything is just total opposite than it was a week ago. I get out of it that she knows she can be happy with me, but it scares her to death, and she is fighting what she really feels for me. I just don't understand what she is unhappy for, I'm a big help around the house, a big help with the kids, I always pay her compliments, I give her all the love in the world. She just broke down from things in our past, and can't let go any of it.

Is there any way to know that these are her real feelings or if it's just fog?