|
|
Joined: Jul 2008
Posts: 2,964
Member
|
Member
Joined: Jul 2008
Posts: 2,964 |
GoodNigth,
You wrote, My wife, she says, "I don't want to be your wife. I want you to be my partner in raising children, but not a wife." Her statement is, that she tried to be a good wife, she failed, so she doesn't want it anymore.
Do you really want to live with a woman who gives you a very slim hope of ever loving you again. A female friend of my W is married to a guy who waited 10 years for his WW to end her affairs and ended up divorced and destroyed after waiting that long.
If you don't want that fate for yourself than expose the OM like mad.
God Bless
Gamma
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Feb 2014
Posts: 56
Member
|
|
OP
Member
Joined: Feb 2014
Posts: 56 |
It's exposed.
I'm so tired of this.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Mar 2012
Posts: 900
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Mar 2012
Posts: 900 |
It's exposed.
I'm so tired of this. To whom did you expose? And how? What was their reaction?
Me: BW, 57 fWH: 63 (Taffy1) Serial cheater
Presently on the Recovery Road, in the Online program.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Feb 2014
Posts: 56
Member
|
|
OP
Member
Joined: Feb 2014
Posts: 56 |
It's a long story, I exposed the affair to everybody. Family, friends, OM's wife, wife's friend.
I think that was the point when my wife turned against of me.
She got very angry, and she went for divorce.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 11,239
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 11,239 |
It's a long story, I exposed the affair to everybody. Family, friends, OM's wife, wife's friend.
I think that was the point when my wife turned against of me.
She got very angry, and she went for divorce. If the affair is actually over and she has no contact with the affair partner then you have a good chance of winning her back. Where is she living? How often do you interact with her and how to you interact (in person, taxt, phone etc)?
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Feb 2014
Posts: 56
Member
|
|
OP
Member
Joined: Feb 2014
Posts: 56 |
This is the issue. Affair is practically over, as OM lost trust. No personal meetings, no calls.
But there is emailing. So emotional contact does exist.
I am more or less living with her and the kids.
She is now on the court, the first stage if divorce is happening right now.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,440 Likes: 4
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,440 Likes: 4 |
This is the issue. Affair is practically over, as OM lost trust. No personal meetings, no calls.
But there is emailing. So emotional contact does exist.
I am more or less living with her and the kids.
She is now on the court, the first stage if divorce is happening right now. Have you had any UA time together?
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Feb 2014
Posts: 56
Member
|
|
OP
Member
Joined: Feb 2014
Posts: 56 |
UA? Very little. Family programs, yes.
She always finds an excuse why we shouldn't do it.
I am so tired of this. I should accept the loss, and arrange my life as a divorced father. The problem is I don't want this fate.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 11,239
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 11,239 |
This is the issue. Affair is practically over, as OM lost trust. No personal meetings, no calls.
But there is emailing. So emotional contact does exist.
I am more or less living with her and the kids.
She is now on the court, the first stage if divorce is happening right now. The affair has not died an natural death and is still active
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 11,239
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 11,239 |
Do NOT leave your home Sir.
If you divorce, file for full custody.
In the meantime, post OM on Cheaterville
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Feb 2014
Posts: 56
Member
|
|
OP
Member
Joined: Feb 2014
Posts: 56 |
Ok, affair hant died yet. And? What to do? Plan B is not an option as I cannot implement it. Any advice?
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 15,818 Likes: 7
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 15,818 Likes: 7 |
UA? Very little. Family programs, yes.
She always finds an excuse why we shouldn't do it.
I am so tired of this. I should accept the loss, and arrange my life as a divorced father. The problem is I don't want this fate. Then you need to woo her. Treat it like a situation where a man is absolutely enamored by a woman he wants to marry, who is not married to him. He will continually ask her on dates and try to be a part of her life and try to do things for her. Do that, if you want to keep her! Meanwhile, do NOT let up on the affair and how hurtful it is to you. Tell everybody you know about it, and everybody she knows, and everybody the OM knows. Get yourself on antidepressants so your emotions don't make you unable to stick to a plan. Are you listening to the radio show daily?
If you are serious about saving your marriage, you can't get it all on this forum. You've got to listen to the Marriage Builders Radio show, every day. Install the app! Married to my radiant trophy wife, Prisca, 19 years. Father of 8. Attended Marriage Builders weekend in May 2010 If your wife is not on board with MB, some of my posts to other men might help you.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 15,818 Likes: 7
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 15,818 Likes: 7 |
UA? Very little. Family programs, yes.
She always finds an excuse why we shouldn't do it. You have to keep asking. Just like all of the rest of us did.
If you are serious about saving your marriage, you can't get it all on this forum. You've got to listen to the Marriage Builders Radio show, every day. Install the app! Married to my radiant trophy wife, Prisca, 19 years. Father of 8. Attended Marriage Builders weekend in May 2010 If your wife is not on board with MB, some of my posts to other men might help you.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1 |
This is the issue. Affair is practically over, as OM lost trust. No personal meetings, no calls.
But there is emailing. So emotional contact does exist. Does the OM's wife know he is still having an affair with your wife?
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Feb 2014
Posts: 56
Member
|
|
OP
Member
Joined: Feb 2014
Posts: 56 |
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Feb 2014
Posts: 56
Member
|
|
OP
Member
Joined: Feb 2014
Posts: 56 |
It's so strange now...
Now, the affair is emotional only.
Wife still wants to divorce.
But, on the another hand, she is wants to keep this strange situation. I'm a half husband, she is a half-wife.
She wants "privacy" for herself. Privacy means emotional contact with OM.
Do you know, it reminds me a cancer in a body. Given an almost perfect woman, with a lot of love, responsibility, smart brain, loving mother. But, she is feeding a cancer in her spirit. This affair makes her acting against her principles, against our family. What a dissonance!
She told my children: "Don't lie. Liers are bad, they lie because they want to force people to do something." And meanwhile...
I don't want to leave my home.
What to do? I have no clue.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2012
Posts: 3,197
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Apr 2012
Posts: 3,197 |
You Plan A her until you can't anymore. Can you still Plan A her? This means showing her care at the same time avoiding all love busters. I know before you stated that you continue to do love busting and you must not do that.
Your goal is to be the better option, and get her to fall back in love with you. Meanwhile, continue to demand she end contact. Continue to make OMW aware of any contact between them.
Your wife still wants to D because she is not in love with you, and her A continues and she IS in love with the OM.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Feb 2014
Posts: 56
Member
|
|
OP
Member
Joined: Feb 2014
Posts: 56 |
unwritten, I think I'm pretty good in avoiding love busters. Not perfect, anyway. Thx.  I need some support definitely, but no one can support who didn't go through of this.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Feb 2014
Posts: 56
Member
|
|
OP
Member
Joined: Feb 2014
Posts: 56 |
unwritten, what you write is correct.
My doubt is if Plan A really works?
Is there anybody here who made a successful Plan A?
A lot of people says Plan A is basically an introduction for a good Plan B. I cannot do Plan B, the children are too small.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Mar 2010
Posts: 7,362 Likes: 3
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Mar 2010
Posts: 7,362 Likes: 3 |
unwritten, I think I'm pretty good in avoiding love busters. Not perfect, anyway. Eliminate them completely. "Not perfect" is an excuse. And every time you lovebust her, you are making OM look that much better to her.
|
|
|
Moderated by Ariel, BerlinMB, Denali, Fordude, IrishGreen, MBeliever, MBsurvivor, MBSync, McLovin, Mizar, PhoenixMB, Toujours
|
1 members (1 invisible),
518
guests, and
54
robots. |
|
Key:
Admin,
Global Mod,
Mod
|
|
|
|
