Hi All: It's been 1 1/2 years since my husband left me for another woman. Since we've been married 38 years we have a lot of things that need to be divided up. I moved out of the marital home when I realized my husband was not going to work on the marriage after I discovered the affair. I moved out of the state near my adult children and grand children. My kids and I will never speak to hiim again. My husband is asking me what I want from the house (through our attorneys). I don't have any desire for anything, but perhaps in the future I will want the photos of my kids growing up. I can't bare to see the photos now of our years together. Should I ask for them or leave it up to him to keep them all? What do I do if he sends me all of them, including our wedding photo books. He may not want them and neither do I. Do I throw them out? Should I send them to his mother to keep? My kids don't want them either! I'm having a hard time thinking about this, let alone deal with it if it arrives at my door.

If you may want these photos then ask for them. Why would you trust him to keep them for you? If you don't get them now then just assume they are gone for good. And I would close the door now either way vs leaving it open to ask for them later. You would be setting yourself up for future contact later if you change your mind.

If you don't want to look at them, put them away. Whether you give them to another to hold for you (but I would not have one of his family members be that person) or stick them in the attic, seal the box and put them away. Something like photos...I can understand you not wanting photos of him or the two of you as a couple but I would not throw away photos of my children growing up. To me that is giving way too much power to a WS. Throw pics of him in the trash if they are included but I would not toss out pics of my kids.

I would ask him for a complete inventory of the house contents. Half of the house contents belong to you. Then you can stare at the list and make decisions. You can always put things into storage if you are undecided. Besides, your children will want some of these things, my brother and I were very sad about the things my mother gave away after my father died.

See, I have always felt an affair is a house fire, smoke damaging everything, so that even treasured items become useless.

Don't feel bad if you don't want these things.

It could well be worth asking for specific albums of the children to be sent to certain relatives for safeguarding. You could specify that you don't want anything else, like wedding albums etc.

How does he even have your address? For what purpose?

Get that inventory and decide what you want and don't want (if anything). If you don't take anything, you have the right to ask for half of the value of what you leave in a community property state.

Ask for all the photos.
Though you can not look at them......they ARE your history.
A valid and wonderful time in your life.

You will have them (maybe in a drawer or cabinet) and know they are there. You don't have to look at them!

Maybe some day you will.

Take 'em!

I agree.
My wife took all of my family and kids photos when she left. Now she "gives" them to the kids as presents on holidays and birthdays but I wish I had baby pictures etc.