I understand all that, indiegirl. I can't control Amy's behavior with regard to her boyfriend. I asked her not to introduce them so quickly but she ignored my request. In fact she blamed it on me because she says the kids heard me talking about her "boyfriend" and started asking questions, so "they" decided to be honest about it. And of course she wants to share her wonderful man with them and start blending their families as soon as possible. In fact, my oldest daughter asked if John could come to her school play on Friday. So I choked out an "of course honey".

It disgusts me that they are witnessing what is going on, and it disgusts me that it is all a result of my SSL.

I can only control my behavior, which I am doing. Yes it is ridiculous that I'm controlling it now versus 2 months ago (or 6 months ago or 2 years ago for that matter.) But it's all I can do at this point. Try to mitigate the impact on them as much as I can. Make them feel as safe as I can through this.

My point about all the duties isn't that I'm a good dad. It's that I can't leave because I'm doing everything. Like I said, Amy could leave if someone needed to but I doubt she will unless I harass her about her affair.

ETA: Also, I thank everyone for their time and input even if you think I'm the lowest scum on the planet. I appreciate every comment even if it cuts me to the core. especially if it cuts me to the core.

Actually the comments are serving as useless distractions for you. Instead of posting on an internet forum you could be becoming educated.

I'm reading stuff on the site right now, my friend.

I started with "what children learn from infidelity"