I don't know if anyone else will dig this but this is an old metal song that I think is powerful and sort of summed up how I felt feeling trapped in a mostly sexless marriage, and again when I was in Plan A.

Not a happy or positive/reinforcing song, I guess, but maybe cathartic for anyone dealing with a reluctant spouse. Listening to now is very interesting. I first stumbled across this digging up old songs on YouTube maybe 4 or 5 years ago, and my entire attitude on marriage/relationships was different. This song sort of brought out feelings in me that were an undercurrent at the time, disappointments I had in my marriage already, and those feelings I regarded as a threat to my marriage so I just stuffed them and never really listened to it again, until I remembered it today.

I knew I was deeply disappointed in my wife, but I felt if I let that feeling of disappointment build it would become unhealthy and create resentment. That happened anyways (it just took longer) and I now realize stuffing simply pushed the type of serious confrontation I needed to have down the road. I think now that if the marriage could have been saved, this would have needed to happen for it to work. Instead of sweeping the topic under the rug because my wife didn't want to talk about it, I needed to steer us towards getting help (like MB). Water under the bridge now, but anyways. Here tis:

Just adding details about that song you posted...

by Winger - The Lucky One
The core part of the lyrics...

But don't think I'll be waitin' around
While you treat my love
Like it's all a dime a dozen
You don't feel the pain
Baby, you're the lucky one
And every day and night
I keep wondering
Should, I just tear out these pages
Can't you see it girl, you're the lucky one?
You're the lucky one

You mentioned resentment at the end of your paragraph. How are you dealing with that?

Ehh...mostly I don't think about WW these days. I do pray for her/us each day but other than that I try to focus on things I actually have some control over, like working out and my career.

On the things that made me feel resentful... having D filed is actually a bit of a relief in that regard because I'm getting away from a difficult situation. Granted I would rather us have fixed our problems than divorce but given the choice between not fixing them ever and divorce, I'd rather divorce.

Here's one that I like to listen to when I get "sick of it."



(Sick of It by Skillet)

Skillet is a good band.

Not quite my style of music but I respect them.

Today is actually WWs 30th birthday. FIL texted me last week to tell me they had her over to celebrate and that people over there missed me. First time I'd heard from him in over a month. An awkward text but I think they're trying to be hopeful and keep things friendly. I sent a short polite/friendly reply.

Cool. I'm glad FIL is still being friendly with you. Didn't you say something about your MIL being less than supportive? That's been the case in my situation, too. My FIL tells me he'll always consider me his son while my MIL won't even thank me for the flowers I sent her for her birthday.

MIL is just more emotional, kind of back and forth on things. I haven't had any contact with her for a few months now but I doubt she's upset with me, I think she just doesn't know what to make of the situation.

Truthfully it's been good being out of contact with the ILs for the most part. Things are SNAFU at this point and unless something changes with WW it's much easier not to think about her when I'm not communicating with her family.