|
|
Joined: May 2015
Posts: 350
Member
|
OP
Member
Joined: May 2015
Posts: 350 |
The buyers are giving me until Tues to have a counter offer, if I don't have one by then, the sale is over, and they will pursue a different house.
I know my attorney is going to ask me why I didn't just pick up the phone and call him if this was so time sensitive. I'm so frustrated......I want out from his bullsh*t, and out of this home so I can just move on with this healing process!
M: 47 H: 52
H asked for divorce: 3/31/15
H Moved out: 4/7/15
H Took divorce off the table: 4/17/15
I filed for divorce: 5/18/15
I entered Plan B: 5/21/15
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1 |
I know my attorney is going to ask me why I didn't just pick up the phone and call him if this was so time sensitive. Will your H give you an answer if you do?
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Sep 2014
Posts: 968 Likes: 1
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Sep 2014
Posts: 968 Likes: 1 |
IMO your attorney should understand you wanting to avoid contact with a wayward spouse and should in fact help you facilitate that.
When I was negotiating my D settlement with my ex wife I had already ended my Plan A and wanted zero direct contact with my wife, and my attorney readily understood this and facilitated the necessary correspondence for me so I did not have to become directly involved at all.
As long as your attorney has an understanding of your objectives here, they need to be doing the communication with your WH.
Happily remarried to wonderful woman who I found using the guidelines in "Buyers, Renters, Freeloaders" 2 baby boys, working on #3 and couldn't ask for anything more. When my ex's affair happened: BH 28, Ex-WW:29 Married: 7 years Together: 8 years D-day: 10/5/2014 D filed: 1/22/2015 D Final: 6/4/2015 My story
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: May 2015
Posts: 350
Member
|
|
OP
Member
Joined: May 2015
Posts: 350 |
Melody.....I don't know. In court he was willing to talk over my attorney the whole time, and act like a childish controlling idiot, so he'd probably be very similar towards me. I don't care to speak to him, and I don't feel I would get a decent answer.
My attorney knew from day one that I had an intermediary set up, and that I didn't want to deal directly with him. I have given her copies of my intermediary introduction letters to H as well, and in my emails/voicemail to her, I again voiced my hesitation to be in verbal or face to face contact with him because he is so manipulative.
M: 47 H: 52
H asked for divorce: 3/31/15
H Moved out: 4/7/15
H Took divorce off the table: 4/17/15
I filed for divorce: 5/18/15
I entered Plan B: 5/21/15
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Sep 2014
Posts: 968 Likes: 1
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Sep 2014
Posts: 968 Likes: 1 |
Yeah, he sounds like a jerk if he acted like that in court. It's sad how the waywards turn into such angry [censored].
Stick to your guns about no contact. Any verbal cheap shots he can get in on you will be very harmful emotionally, and most waywards are all too willing to be completely thoughtless with their words.
Happily remarried to wonderful woman who I found using the guidelines in "Buyers, Renters, Freeloaders" 2 baby boys, working on #3 and couldn't ask for anything more. When my ex's affair happened: BH 28, Ex-WW:29 Married: 7 years Together: 8 years D-day: 10/5/2014 D filed: 1/22/2015 D Final: 6/4/2015 My story
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Nov 2007
Posts: 1,788 Likes: 2
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Nov 2007
Posts: 1,788 Likes: 2 |
The buyers are giving me until Tues to have a counter offer, if I don't have one by then, the sale is over, and they will pursue a different house.
I know my attorney is going to ask me why I didn't just pick up the phone and call him if this was so time sensitive. I'm so frustrated......I want out from his bullsh*t, and out of this home so I can just move on with this healing process! He is doing this to punish you. Contact would reward him, do not be tempted. Ask the buyers to put their deadline in writing to both you and your husband. A letter is ideal. That will give you the ammunition you will need for the court. Sit tight and be Gandhi. You can outlast him.
3 adult children
Divorced - he was a serial adulterer
Now remarried, thank you MB
(formerly lied_to_again)
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: May 2015
Posts: 350
Member
|
|
OP
Member
Joined: May 2015
Posts: 350 |
Thank you!
He is a jerk, and trust me, I will not break my no contact......I can outlast him is right! I can only imagine the words I'd hear from him, so I will not put myself in that position, and will do whatever I can to avoid him.
Due to the tight turnaround, and it's Friday aft, will a text be ok? I will have them forward me a copy of what they send him, and I can print that to give my attorney a copy.
They have sent me a counter offer, they can text him to say your W has emailed you with our counter offer, and we are just informing you that we need an answer by Tues, or we will no longer be pursuing the home.
I would inform them to avoid any further response to him, and continue to go through me.
Last edited by Ginger872; 06/19/15 12:29 PM.
M: 47 H: 52
H asked for divorce: 3/31/15
H Moved out: 4/7/15
H Took divorce off the table: 4/17/15
I filed for divorce: 5/18/15
I entered Plan B: 5/21/15
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Nov 2007
Posts: 1,788 Likes: 2
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Nov 2007
Posts: 1,788 Likes: 2 |
Thank you!
Due to the tight turnaround, and it's Friday aft, will a text be ok? I will have them forward me a copy of what they send him, and I can print that to give my attorney a copy.
They have sent me a counter offer, they can text him to say your W has emailed you with our counter offer, and we are just informing you that we need an answer by Tues, or we will no longer be pursuing the home.
I would inform them to avoid any further response to him, and continue to go through me. Yes but tell them to save and forward his response (if any) to you.
3 adult children
Divorced - he was a serial adulterer
Now remarried, thank you MB
(formerly lied_to_again)
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 11,650
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 11,650 |
He's acting the jerk so you will contact him. Waywards also hate permanent decisions while they are 'finding themselves'.
I'd have your lawyer tell him that any costs caused by his delays will be billed back to him.
What would you do if you were not afraid?
"Fear is the little death. Fear is the mind-killer" Frank Herbert.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: May 2015
Posts: 350
Member
|
|
OP
Member
Joined: May 2015
Posts: 350 |
Let him keep doing......I'm stronger than he is at this point. I just would love to ask him some day, if it was all worth it........but I won't. So not worth it!!  There's been some very negative reviews that I've seen online about him, and the restaurant lately......someone is sure creating a very positive reputation for himself!
M: 47 H: 52
H asked for divorce: 3/31/15
H Moved out: 4/7/15
H Took divorce off the table: 4/17/15
I filed for divorce: 5/18/15
I entered Plan B: 5/21/15
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 11,650
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 11,650 |
Doooont look at that honey.
What would you do if you were not afraid?
"Fear is the little death. Fear is the mind-killer" Frank Herbert.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: May 2015
Posts: 350
Member
|
|
OP
Member
Joined: May 2015
Posts: 350 |
Oh, it's Friday, and I still don't have my maintenance check for the week either. So happy I took those funds from the account when I did, or I'd have nothing to live on.
M: 47 H: 52
H asked for divorce: 3/31/15
H Moved out: 4/7/15
H Took divorce off the table: 4/17/15
I filed for divorce: 5/18/15
I entered Plan B: 5/21/15
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: May 2015
Posts: 350
Member
|
|
OP
Member
Joined: May 2015
Posts: 350 |
I have to right now unfortunately, indie......it's tied in with the business Facebook page, and via the court, I have to figure out a way to hand over the business Facebook page to him. I have no idea how to do it because it's tied into, and built from my personal page.
Last edited by Ginger872; 06/19/15 02:57 PM.
M: 47 H: 52
H asked for divorce: 3/31/15
H Moved out: 4/7/15
H Took divorce off the table: 4/17/15
I filed for divorce: 5/18/15
I entered Plan B: 5/21/15
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 11,650
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 11,650 |
Can you ask an intermediary to handle it?
Personally I would call up a social media or marketing company and ask them if they could duplicate the page/start a new one and if so how much for? Then I would say to the court that you were unable to find a way to separate it from your own personal page but x company will do it for x dollars and the payment should be deducted from WHs half of the settlement as payment for your marketing services.
Plan B tends to require a clean slate FB page anyway. Why not set up a whole new one for yourself and give the old bundle away?
Or get off FB entirely?
What would you do if you were not afraid?
"Fear is the little death. Fear is the mind-killer" Frank Herbert.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: May 2015
Posts: 350
Member
|
|
OP
Member
Joined: May 2015
Posts: 350 |
That's a great idea indie......I never thought of that. I will see if I can find such a company to contact.
I don't access my personal FB page anyway, the only access I have to it is on my desktop in the office, which I'm rarely on lately. I sign on, then immediately access the biz page. I cleaned up my personal page before I deactivated it initially, took off all the people associated with H, and him as well. Then I contacted all those friends that truly mean something to me, and gave them my new contacts. I communicate with them in other ways.
Last edited by Ginger872; 06/19/15 03:21 PM.
M: 47 H: 52
H asked for divorce: 3/31/15
H Moved out: 4/7/15
H Took divorce off the table: 4/17/15
I filed for divorce: 5/18/15
I entered Plan B: 5/21/15
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: May 2015
Posts: 350
Member
|
|
OP
Member
Joined: May 2015
Posts: 350 |
Well, H just showed up at the house again. He is supposed to have permission to come on the property, and he did not. He came to the front door, knocked, then slid my maintenance check through the door, and then left. It's supposed to be deposited into the joint account, but he's looking for any excuse to keep his intimidating presence in my life. It works. As soon as I know it's him, I start to shake. This is why I want out of this house! It's just so unreal. He shows up here to intimidate me on a Friday afternoon at 4:00, which is a busy day at the restaurant because of Friday's evening Fish Fry crowd. Why is he not at the restaurant running it, instead of being here harassing me? This is why I stay in the house when I'm home. 
M: 47 H: 52
H asked for divorce: 3/31/15
H Moved out: 4/7/15
H Took divorce off the table: 4/17/15
I filed for divorce: 5/18/15
I entered Plan B: 5/21/15
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jan 2014
Posts: 136
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Jan 2014
Posts: 136 |
Ginger- I run a Facebook page. If you go to Facebook, go to the page, and then go to Settings, at the top. There you can change who runs the Facebook page. It'll be under Page Roles.
Last edited by Woundednotbroken; 06/19/15 06:46 PM. Reason: redundancy
BW-27
FWH-31
DS-6
Married several years
D-Day- 11/22/13
Plan A+Exposure
NC+Beginning of Recovery-04/2014
In Recovery and happier and more in love than ever
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: May 2015
Posts: 350
Member
|
|
OP
Member
Joined: May 2015
Posts: 350 |
Thank you wounded. I do know about that setting, but I don't believe that will disconnect the page from my personal page. Since I created the page, if I delete my personal page, the business page will delete as well.
M: 47 H: 52
H asked for divorce: 3/31/15
H Moved out: 4/7/15
H Took divorce off the table: 4/17/15
I filed for divorce: 5/18/15
I entered Plan B: 5/21/15
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: May 2015
Posts: 350
Member
|
|
OP
Member
Joined: May 2015
Posts: 350 |
H told the buyer when she texted him that he won't do anything until he talks to his attorney on Mon. He'll drag this out as long as possible I'm sure.
I also emailed my attorney to let her know he showed up here yesterday unannounced, and I know she said last time he did that she would file a contempt charge against him if he did it again, so I will be anxious to see what happens next.
M: 47 H: 52
H asked for divorce: 3/31/15
H Moved out: 4/7/15
H Took divorce off the table: 4/17/15
I filed for divorce: 5/18/15
I entered Plan B: 5/21/15
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 11,650
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 11,650 |
What would you do if you were not afraid?
"Fear is the little death. Fear is the mind-killer" Frank Herbert.
|
|
|
Moderated by Ariel, BerlinMB, Denali, Fordude, IrishGreen, MBeliever, MBsurvivor, MBSync, McLovin, Mizar, PhoenixMB, Toujours
|
0 members (),
822
guests, and
71
robots. |
|
Key:
Admin,
Global Mod,
Mod
|
|
|
|
