|
|
Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 15,818 Likes: 7
Member
|
Member
Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 15,818 Likes: 7 |
I'd tag along.  Have you told her you want to spend more time with her? Recently?
If you are serious about saving your marriage, you can't get it all on this forum. You've got to listen to the Marriage Builders Radio show, every day. Install the app! Married to my radiant trophy wife, Prisca, 19 years. Father of 8. Attended Marriage Builders weekend in May 2010 If your wife is not on board with MB, some of my posts to other men might help you.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Sep 2008
Posts: 298
Member
|
|
OP
Member
Joined: Sep 2008
Posts: 298 |
I'd tag along. Have you told her you want to spend more time with her? Recently? Absolutlely. It's gotten to the point where she had repeatedly asked me to stop asking and to stop trying to be affectionatte like sending txt msgs or leaving notes etc. Leaves me feeling torn. Do i give her breathing space or just relentlessly ignore her requests and keep blindly persuing her?
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 15,818 Likes: 7
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 15,818 Likes: 7 |
I'd tag along. Have you told her you want to spend more time with her? Recently? Absolutlely. It's gotten to the point where she had repeatedly asked me to stop asking and to stop trying to be affectionatte like sending txt msgs or leaving notes etc. Leaves me feeling torn. Do i give her breathing space or just relentlessly ignore her requests and keep blindly persuing her? Nope, keep asking, keep pursuing, keep being affectionate, keep trying to spend time with her.
Last edited by markos; 07/16/15 07:15 PM.
If you are serious about saving your marriage, you can't get it all on this forum. You've got to listen to the Marriage Builders Radio show, every day. Install the app! Married to my radiant trophy wife, Prisca, 19 years. Father of 8. Attended Marriage Builders weekend in May 2010 If your wife is not on board with MB, some of my posts to other men might help you.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Sep 2008
Posts: 298
Member
|
|
OP
Member
Joined: Sep 2008
Posts: 298 |
I'd tag along. Have you told her you want to spend more time with her? Recently? Absolutlely. It's gotten to the point where she had repeatedly asked me to stop asking and to stop trying to be affectionatte like sending txt msgs or leaving notes etc. Leaves me feeling torn. Do i give her breathing space or just relentlessly ignore her requests and keep blindly persuing her? Nope, keep asking, keep pursuing, keep being affectionate, keep trying to spend time with her. Okay. I've arranged to get freshly baked croissants from baker before dawn, going to setup a picnic breakfast on headland with blankets. I have invited her. I expect either no response or a response that she has no intention of coming. I am going to just go through with it and then - what? Send her a TXT to say the sunrise wasn't quite as fantastic without her? On another subject. I have lined up a talk with the Harleys on their Radio program. They asked me to invite my wife to email any information about the reasons she wishes to end the marriage. She basically replied that she has no intention of staying married but is glad I am talking to someone. She is very determined.
Last edited by Dajavude; 07/16/15 09:57 PM.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,439 Likes: 4
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,439 Likes: 4 |
I have lined up a talk with the Harleys on their Radio program. When will you be on?
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Sep 2008
Posts: 298
Member
|
|
OP
Member
Joined: Sep 2008
Posts: 298 |
I have lined up a talk with the Harleys on their Radio program. When will you be on? Monday Morning US time. Tuesday morning EST where I live
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Sep 2008
Posts: 298
Member
|
|
OP
Member
Joined: Sep 2008
Posts: 298 |
I'd tag along. Have you told her you want to spend more time with her? Recently? Absolutlely. It's gotten to the point where she had repeatedly asked me to stop asking and to stop trying to be affectionatte like sending txt msgs or leaving notes etc. Leaves me feeling torn. Do i give her breathing space or just relentlessly ignore her requests and keep blindly persuing her? Nope, keep asking, keep pursuing, keep being affectionate, keep trying to spend time with her. Okay. I've arranged to get freshly baked croissants from baker before dawn, going to setup a picnic breakfast on headland with blankets. I have invited her. I expect either no response or a response that she has no intention of coming. I am going to just go through with it and then - what? Send her a TXT to say the sunrise wasn't quite as fantastic without her? On another subject. I have lined up a talk with the Harleys on their Radio program. They asked me to invite my wife to email any information about the reasons she wishes to end the marriage. She basically replied that she has no intention of staying married but is glad I am talking to someone. She is very determined. She emailed back to say she wouldn't be accepting any picnic or outing invitations. Which is what i expected. I replied that i would be collecting the special croissant order at 6am and hoped she would change her mind as i would love to just talk to her. Hopefully my planning and going through with it will have some positive impact. I am curious, as i am able to check still, why she doesn't delete my persuing emails. She deletes other junk and what not.? I will be taking kids trampolining tomorrow so that shoukd be a good LB deposit.
Last edited by Dajavude; 07/17/15 04:27 AM.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 7,449
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 7,449 |
Are you suggesting i simply grab her phone as that is the only way i could get further proof to subdtantiate a full blown affair. You need to brainstorm. What about voice recorders in areas she might use the phone to make calls, a PI, or buying her a new phone pre installed with spyware? There have been spouses with hidden burner phones who have been caught. The key is snooping stealthily and patiently and constantly looking for opportunities. You've tipped your hand a little and she'll be cautious for a while but she will settle down (if you do) and start leaving her trail again. The thing with affairs is they are compelling so no matter how jittery the spouse - they have to resume things. I have confirmed beyond doubt that there is no other man - relationship - fling, etc at the root of her behaviour. I have managed to get access to her phone and SMS history and there is no evidence at all. You already have confirmation of their relationship by the emails ??
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 7,449
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 7,449 |
Upon checking the email history further i discovered they had some form of courting / emotionally supportive relationship at the end her 1st marriage that did not become physical. He was seperated at that time and expressed that he would have liked to go further but didn't wish to take advantage in her vulnerable state.
How do i ensure there is no chance at them meeting even if the intention is not to start something. There is def an attraction and emotional connection. Ok. So there is this OM - that she had an emotional affair with during her first marriage who she is still emailing/flirting with and trying to meet up with as soon as 2 weeks ago and you don't think this has anything to do with your marital issues? The fact that she blocked you from looking at her emails and wants a separation screams wayward. She also had a PA with OM2. Did she have any other affairs? I sure hope you told Dr Harley all of this.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Sep 2008
Posts: 298
Member
|
|
OP
Member
Joined: Sep 2008
Posts: 298 |
Upon checking the email history further i discovered they had some form of courting / emotionally supportive relationship at the end her 1st marriage that did not become physical. He was seperated at that time and expressed that he would have liked to go further but didn't wish to take advantage in her vulnerable state.
How do i ensure there is no chance at them meeting even if the intention is not to start something. There is def an attraction and emotional connection. Ok. So there is this OM - that she had an emotional affair with during her first marriage who she is still emailing/flirting with and trying to meet up with as soon as 2 weeks ago and you don't think this has anything to do with your marital issues? The fact that she blocked you from looking at her emails and wants a separation screams wayward. She also had a PA with OM2. Did she have any other affairs? I sure hope you told Dr Harley all of this. I will tell him. There is no record of contact on her phone. Why would she send fishing email if they could simply co-ordinate directly via some other method? I dont know if she has done anything else but there is no evidence yet. I am still snooping, I can track her phone so i can see where she goes so hopefully if she is seeing someone i'll find out. Just no proof yet. Any thoughts on why she wouldn't just delete my emails ? It looks like a good sign right? If she didn't care or was attached somewhere else wouldn't she just delete them?
Last edited by Dajavude; 07/17/15 06:04 AM.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Nov 2007
Posts: 1,788 Likes: 2
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Nov 2007
Posts: 1,788 Likes: 2 |
Any thoughts on why she wouldn't just delete my emails ? It looks like a good sign right? If she didn't care or was attached somewhere else wouldn't she just delete them? A wayward would not delete emails that you sent if she suspected you were monitoring her emails. You would notice that yours were missing. This behavior is typical of someone trying to lay a false trail. You need to dig more deeply.
3 adult children
Divorced - he was a serial adulterer
Now remarried, thank you MB
(formerly lied_to_again)
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 7,449
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 7,449 |
Upon checking the email history further i discovered they had some form of courting / emotionally supportive relationship at the end her 1st marriage that did not become physical. He was seperated at that time and expressed that he would have liked to go further but didn't wish to take advantage in her vulnerable state.
How do i ensure there is no chance at them meeting even if the intention is not to start something. There is def an attraction and emotional connection. Ok. So there is this OM - that she had an emotional affair with during her first marriage who she is still emailing/flirting with and trying to meet up with as soon as 2 weeks ago and you don't think this has anything to do with your marital issues? The fact that she blocked you from looking at her emails and wants a separation screams wayward. She also had a PA with OM2. Did she have any other affairs? I sure hope you told Dr Harley all of this. I will tell him. There is no record of contact on her phone. Why would she send fishing email if they could simply co-ordinate directly via some other method? I dont know if she has done anything else but there is no evidence yet. I am still snooping, I can track her phone so i can see where she goes so hopefully if she is seeing someone i'll find out. Just no proof yet. Any thoughts on why she wouldn't just delete my emails ? It looks like a good sign right? If she didn't care or was attached somewhere else wouldn't she just delete them? Can you answer my question? This is what we know: There were two affairs in the first marriage. And a resumption (at least she is trying) of one of those affairs in this marriage. Any others? Any affairs with married men before she was married?
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 7,449
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 7,449 |
I invited her via FB msg but she replied that she hoped I had a good walk. Why did you FB message her vs texting? Just curious....
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 7,449
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 7,449 |
I have managed to get access to her phone and SMS history and there is no evidence at all. How did you get access to these records when you weren't able to before? You are speaking of the actual phone records, right? Because the phone itself would be useless as she could just erase things...
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Sep 2008
Posts: 298
Member
|
|
OP
Member
Joined: Sep 2008
Posts: 298 |
Upon checking the email history further i discovered they had some form of courting / emotionally supportive relationship at the end her 1st marriage that did not become physical. He was seperated at that time and expressed that he would have liked to go further but didn't wish to take advantage in her vulnerable state.
How do i ensure there is no chance at them meeting even if the intention is not to start something. There is def an attraction and emotional connection. Ok. So there is this OM - that she had an emotional affair with during her first marriage who she is still emailing/flirting with and trying to meet up with as soon as 2 weeks ago and you don't think this has anything to do with your marital issues? The fact that she blocked you from looking at her emails and wants a separation screams wayward. She also had a PA with OM2. Did she have any other affairs? I sure hope you told Dr Harley all of this. I will tell him. There is no record of contact on her phone. Why would she send fishing email if they could simply co-ordinate directly via some other method? I dont know if she has done anything else but there is no evidence yet. I am still snooping, I can track her phone so i can see where she goes so hopefully if she is seeing someone i'll find out. Just no proof yet. Any thoughts on why she wouldn't just delete my emails ? It looks like a good sign right? If she didn't care or was attached somewhere else wouldn't she just delete them? Can you answer my question? This is what we know: There were two affairs in the first marriage. And a resumption (at least she is trying) of one of those affairs in this marriage. Any others? Any affairs with married men before she was married? She married her first husband at 18 or something so no. Before me she had a relationship with a divorced man. That's all I am aware of
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Sep 2008
Posts: 298
Member
|
|
OP
Member
Joined: Sep 2008
Posts: 298 |
I invited her via FB msg but she replied that she hoped I had a good walk. Why did you FB message her vs texting? Just curious.... No particular reason - I have been txt'ing and FB messaging, leaving notes, etc.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Sep 2008
Posts: 298
Member
|
|
OP
Member
Joined: Sep 2008
Posts: 298 |
I have managed to get access to her phone and SMS history and there is no evidence at all. How did you get access to these records when you weren't able to before? You are speaking of the actual phone records, right? Because the phone itself would be useless as she could just erase things... She backed up her phone last week on our PC.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Sep 2008
Posts: 298
Member
|
|
OP
Member
Joined: Sep 2008
Posts: 298 |
What is peoples perspective on doing jobs related to cleaning and preparing house for sale?
Wife has made a long list of tasks that need taking care of. On one hand I want to show her she can depend on me to follow through on tasks together but on the other that is making it easier for her to get all tasks done to get to point of selling house and physically seperating.
Thoughts?
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Aug 2014
Posts: 1,842
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Aug 2014
Posts: 1,842 |
Have you ever lived in a house ready for sale? For me, it was an extremely positive experience because it was so clean and fresh.
IIWY, I wouldn't resist cleaning and refreshing. You should avoid packing.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Sep 2008
Posts: 298
Member
|
|
OP
Member
Joined: Sep 2008
Posts: 298 |
Have you ever lived in a house ready for sale? For me, it was an extremely positive experience because it was so clean and fresh.
IIWY, I wouldn't resist cleaning and refreshing. You should avoid packing. So happily do cleaning jobs but politely avoid packing jobs and let her and her family do that? Eg, her parents are coming up next weekend to help pack stuff and store stuff at their place. She has asked me to get boxes from work as we often have heaps.
|
|
|
Moderated by Ariel, BerlinMB, Denali, Fordude, IrishGreen, MBeliever, MBsurvivor, MBSync, McLovin, Mizar, PhoenixMB, Toujours
|
0 members (),
758
guests, and
71
robots. |
|
Key:
Admin,
Global Mod,
Mod
|
|
|
|
