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Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 537
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OP
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Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 537 |
I remarried 4 years ago after a divorce from my xh who left for a new wife. In my current marriage we have worked the marriage builders program....we read the books and followed the guidelines. So Friday when I found the hidden email which ended up revealing my now husband's online sex addiction (porn, chats, video chats, and craigslist adds and response) you can imagine my devistation. This is so similar but way different than the last time. he was been remorseful and now has admitted he has had a problem for almost 20 years. We have been together for 6. I knew something was off over the last few years but nothing tha I had proof of. I feel numb and lost and not sure wher e to go. He wants help he has been calling to find a therapist that specializes in this and is keeping me posted. I do t want anything to do with it.... I am looking I guess to vent. I feel humiliated. His family and our friends know. I blew it up over the weekend so it's not hidden.
Anyone have any advice?
Truth can stand on it's own two feet....A lie needs support....FRM
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Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,439 Likes: 4
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Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,439 Likes: 4 |
Sorry you have to be back for this. You said you're working the program. Do you have a coach or access to Dr. Harley on the Private forum?
How many OW has he hooked up with?
Do you want to save your marriage?
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 537
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OP
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Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 537 |
I have the books and the website... I do not have a coach or access to private forum..last time I was here I don't know that was available. We started doing marriage builders from I the beginning so he knows the concepts and has read all the books. But continues to hide this. He has told our pastor at church... he is not hiding or denying it to anyone
Truth can stand on it's own two feet....A lie needs support....FRM
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Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,439 Likes: 4
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Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,439 Likes: 4 |
Do you know the full extent of everything?
How many women has he been with?
Have you been tested for STDs?
How did you find this secret email?
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 537
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OP
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Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 537 |
It popped up on his phone... he never met with anyone that I can see or find... I have seen the emails and the chats from the last three years. There are things deleted as he cleared it weekly so I only saw that weeks emails. I have control of the email now as I changed the password... he has this program on his phone that he install led himself to email me when he is on a website and which site
..any call la or texts... I went through phone record and nothing there.... it was all through a Yahoo account. I have access to the money and ran his credit to see if he had a credit card I was in aware of that he could charge another phone on... nothing.... I do not see where he met anyone for a physical affair it was all online with 100s and 1000s of random strangers
Truth can stand on it's own two feet....A lie needs support....FRM
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1 |
STB, I would ask him to take a polygraph to make sure he has not met up with any of these women. It wouldn't be that hard to cover it up. Also, you can retrieve most of his deleted texts. Check out the Operation Investigate forum.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 537
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OP
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Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 537 |
Sorry typing on my phone as I am at work
Truth can stand on it's own two feet....A lie needs support....FRM
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Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 537
Member
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OP
Member
Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 537 |
He is willing to do polygraph..... I have calls into to set it up.... the stuff he deleted was from his email account and clearing internet history. I have our phone records and have the phone company trying to pull the text int and sending it to me. So far for the last six months no numbers in or our all's or text unusual... hi use phone they are mailing me the list if numbers for the laat year. Yes not fighting any of it..... he said he wi do whatever I am asking. I just feel this is a bad dream. I will check out the investigate forum. Thank you.
Truth can stand on it's own two feet....A lie needs support....FRM
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