I just married my old high school sweetheart two weeks ago, but we've been dating for two years. He is in AA and is a recovering alcoholic, he's been sober for three years. Three months ago I attended a convention with him and noticed a woman that he apparently was checking out while we were there. He remodels homes for a living and called me one day and said that he ran into this woman at a post office and she wanted him to do work for her, and that this woman was the woman in "green" at the convention. He worked for a few days at her home and began taking about her nonstop on a daily basis, even speaking about how she froze her eggs because she couldn't have children so forth, very personal info. I told him I thought that there conversation was inappropriate and to please stop boasting about her as it made me uncomfortable. He then started bringing gift cards and expensive watches etc home that she was giving him. He says I don't get it because I'm not in AA. Well fast forward to two weeks ago, he asked to invite her to our wedding, I asked him not to because it his relationship with her bothered me. He basically invited her anyway and told me the day before our wedding. I was angry so he said "I'll call her and you can uninvite her yourself" he called her and put me on the spot, telling her I didn't like her and that I thought something was going on etc. She did not come, but I read the text that day after she was uninvited, he asked "if they're relationship was still good" he tells me it's the language of the heart, an AA slogan and that again I just don't get it!! This last week he received a call from her twice and a call from a fancy hotel the same day. Plus he brought home a new tv and watch that he says a client gave him!! Am I crazy or should I feel uneasy, he says I'm crazy for thinking this. Not to mention we have been intimate for days which is the opposite of normal, and he keeps forgetting his wedding ring at home as well!

I'm sorry you are here this early in your marriage, but this is your place given the conditions.

To me, it sounds like an A. I would start snooping quietly and find out more. Go to the Operation investigate forum and find what you can start doing today.

Thank you Alada

Two weeks, and this?

Dump him, Happimom. This man is not marriage material; he does not have the extraordinary care and protection of you in mind, otherwise he would not have done any of this.

I'm sorry that you are facing this.

I am so sorry to read this, Happimom. I agree with the other posters so far.

1) Start quietly, surreptitiously snooping (there are instructions in this forum on how to do that) immediately.
But...

2) Do you even want to be married to this man? The way he has treated you, even prior to your marriage is manipulative and cruel IMO.

This website and the people on it are amazing and I've witnessed miracles happen for marriages that were in horrible shape when they came here.

But you must have good will and a desire for a good marriage from both spouses. And from what you described, I am very sorry, but is sounds like your husband has none of that for you.

What kind of person invites someone their intended does not want there to their wedding? (I think one who does not care about their partner's feelings.)

What kind of person waits until the day before to inform their intended that they invited the person. (I think the kind of person who knows d*mn well that this will cause their intended emotional pain on their wedding day, of all days, so they deliberately waited until the last second hoping to back their partner into a corner where they just accepted it.)

What kind of person puts their partner on the spot with a phone call to dis-invite someone that he knew they didn't want invited in the first place? (I could go on for paragraphs with how cruel and twisted I think this is.)

These things may seem little to you being in the situation as you are, but I think they are very significant and foreshadow a very painful, unhappy marriage for you.

The purpose of this website is to save marriages, so I don't want to say "you should divorce him" (I'll wait to see what the more experienced posters advise.) But I would definitely start reading everything on this website and I believe what is and is not acceptable in a marriage will become much clearer for you.

I so wish for you (and me too, BTW) that you had found this website before you married. But you are here now and if this marriage does not work out you can learn SO MUCH about relationships and how to pick the RIGHT one and be the best spouse yourself to have a truly wonderful marriage here.

BTW - My guess is it's much more, but at the VERY least your husband is having an EA which breaks your marriage vows and is a valid reason to divorce right there.

Good luck to you.
If this m

Thank you all for you're advice, reading as much info on here as I can!! Just hard to think, I waited 2 yrs for this!! Even if he wasn't still having an EA or A, I have already started putting walls up, which will be hard to tear down.

What do you plan to do?

Not sure just yet, I would really like to have something more in stone, so that I don't look nuts. Does anyone have any experience with the phone spy apps?? I only saw the text from before because, he left his phone long enough for me to look at what he said to her. Of course his phone somehow crashed the day after our honeymoon and everything from 2014- now was lost.

What kind of phone?

It is an iPhone 5S, I don't have much time when it is available to me, but would love to get some of the texts recovered, especially since, he all of the sudden has to meet early this morning for work and I noticed that woman called him yesterday as well.

Did you read this? There is spyware for iPhone. Cell phone Spyware Reviews

Do this: Go to Settings:Privacy:Location Services:System Services:Frequent Locations.

Be advised that System Services is at the very bottom of the list.

You will find a list of all frequent locations that this phone has been to. Look for suspicious activity.