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Not sure where to post this.. My hubby and I have been married 17 yrs, recently I see some changes that I haven't talked to him Yet . It's eating at me every moment. I need someone to talk to first?? Or do I confront him first? I'm so stressed and confused I can't bring up these issues with him for some strange reason?? But my heart tells me something is wrong ! Someone please help guide me through this.:(
Last edited by IrishGreen; 09/19/15 10:23 AM. Reason: Changing Subject
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Not sure where to post this.. My hubby and I have been married 17 yrs, recently I see some changes that I haven't talked to him Yet . It's eating at me every moment. I need someone to talk to first?? Or do I confront him first? I'm so stressed and confused I can't bring up these issues with him for some strange reason?? But my heart tells me something is wrong ! Someone please help guide me through this.:( Welcome to MB, lefty. What kind of changes are you talking about? Do you suspect he is having an affair?
BW
Married 1989
His PA 2003-2006
2 kids.
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He seems distant and changes subjects when I'm talking about us. His clothes smell like perfume and he talks about the person named v lots. It's an older lady he works with. He acts like I'm a bother when I come to his place of work... He gets mad. But I hardly ever stop in there.. It hurts cause I know and I act like everything is OK but it's not..I'm so depressed  ?
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Joined: Nov 2011
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He seems distant and changes subjects when I'm talking about us. His clothes smell like perfume and he talks about the person named v lots. It's an older lady he works with. He acts like I'm a bother when I come to his place of work... He gets mad. But I hardly ever stop in there.. It hurts cause I know and I act like everything is OK but it's not..I'm so depressed ? You should post in Surviving an Affair forum (a few forums down). Can you afford a private investigator to see if he is having an affair?
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Joined: Nov 2010
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He seems distant and changes subjects when I'm talking about us. His clothes smell like perfume and he talks about the person named v lots. It's an older lady he works with. He acts like I'm a bother when I come to his place of work... He gets mad. But I hardly ever stop in there.. It hurts cause I know and I act like everything is OK but it's not..I'm so depressed ? Is the OW married? Have you checked his phone? What spyware have you looked at to put on his devices?
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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Yes she is married. What should I look for? I already do that and there's nothing out of character.. What do u suggest for spyware?? He works in a quiet office setting Help me.. I'm desperate ..
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Can you afford a private investigator?
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Maybe..should I spy with a voice recorder? Send it with him to work or is that risky? I want to confirm my suspicion please help. I also need to confess..I so badly want sex from a strange man now..should I?
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I also need to confess..I so badly want sex from a strange man now..should I? Are you serious? Do you think anyone on the Marriage Builders forum is going to say "yes. Have sex with a stranger"? If you are looking for help with your marriage, then please post frequently, and respond to replies. If this situation were so urgent, you wouldn't have waited nearly two weeks to come back here. If you are having a laugh by asking Marriage Builders' posters whether you, a married woman, should have sex with a stranger, then please move on.
BW
Married 1989
His PA 2003-2006
2 kids.
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Maybe..should I spy with a voice recorder? Send it with him to work or is that risky? I want to confirm my suspicion please help. I also need to confess..I so badly want sex from a strange man now..should I? You are just wasting our valuable time and are not serious at all. The people posting to you took their own valuable free time to post to you and they are more serious about your marriage than you. Does that make any sense?
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Can't I tell someone how I honestly feel? I didn't say I'm going to..I just wounder if it's normal to feel this.!!? it feels like I should hurt him back. That would help me I feel. I also have a hard time finding time to get back here. Why so mean and judgemental? Is this the wrong place to speak of my husband cheating. How rude. I need help
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Can't I tell someone how I honestly feel? I didn't say I'm going to..I just wounder if it's normal to feel this.!!? The purpose of this forum is to help posters understand and use the MB program. If you need help, then use your time here learning about the program instead of making crazy posts asking if you should have sex with a stranger! Good grief.. I am not sure how you think posting stuff like that is productive. And yes, we can judge right from wrong. Having sex with a stranger is wrong.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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You need better judgement more than anything.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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I've read and learned alot from Mb..I also see that it's a place to vent and seek advice. By reading you can agree.. If your here for helping people don't be so quick to judge a person. That's not your place to make a judgement. I'm seeking mature and helpful adults to guide me through a very bad place in life my cheating husband has caused. What have I done so wrong. Hopefully someone mature response. Need help
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I didn't say I'm going to..I just wounder if it's normal to feel this.!!? You did not just wonder if it's normal to feel like having revenge sex. You asked I so badly want sex from a strange man now..should I? Mature and helpful adults on his forum will tell you off when you ask a silly question like should you have sex with a strange man. What would you rather we said? Do you think we should tell you to go ahead? If all you are coming back for is to tell us how rude we are, you are wasting your own time. If you are serious about discovering the truth about your marriage, you will read the advice posted on dozens of threads about snooping, and you will get on with doing that. What have you done about snooping since you first came here weeks ago? What have you discovered about the reason for your husband's behaviour?
BW
Married 1989
His PA 2003-2006
2 kids.
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"Venting" actually goes against Marriage Builders principles. This board is not here as a place for people to vent.
If you "vent" that you daydreaming about sleeping with a stranger, you will get a strong reaction. And for good reasons -- would you expect people to smile and pat you on the back if you were contemplating eating pig slop? What you are daydreaming about is even more disgusting -- don't expect people here to coddle you when you are romanticizing cheating.
If you would rather focus your attention on learning MB and how to apply it to your marriage, then that's what this board is for. We can help you with that.
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I've read and learned alot from Mb..I also see that it's a place to vent and seek advice. By reading you can agree.. If your here for helping people don't be so quick to judge a person. That's not your place to make a judgement. I'm seeking mature and helpful adults to guide me through a very bad place in life my cheating husband has caused. What have I done so wrong. Hopefully someone mature response. Need help Please understand that there is nothing "mature" about posting that you feel like having sex with a stranger and asking us "should I?" If you cannot "judge" that this is wrong, then your judgement is seriously impaired. That is the "advice" that I am giving you. Use better judgment and stop being silly.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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