Ok, I see you figured it out.

Did you read through my exposure thread for tips, tactics and talking points?

Somebody suggested that when u exposed that I should confront her, but don't let her know that I'm on to her. Don't reveal my sources.

You don't need to confront her when you expose. She already knows she is having an affair.

When she confronts you (and she will), don't reveal your sources. And don't have a discussion defending your exposure. Simply tell her that her affair is hurting you terribly, and you will do what you need to do to save your marriage. End it there. No debates.

Anyhow, somebody else also suggested that I immediately meeting her emotional needs after exposure. My question is, I don't think she's going to be too receptive to that after exposure.

So is this something that be done right away?

Also, it was said by another poster to this thread that I should contact friends that would possibly have a positive influence on her. Aren't I suppose to contact all her friends though?

Of course she's not. Do it anyway. Plan A is not about whether she is receptive or not. It's all about you showing her that you are willing and able to meet her needs. It's about showing her that you are capable of being the man she desires.


Yes.


Contact her friends. Don't spend a lot of time trying to determine who will have a "positive influence" and who would not. You don't really know who will.

If markos ever were to have an affair, the first person I would contact would be his wayward mother that he hasn't seen in decades. Not because she's a positive influence in his life, and not because she believes affairs are wrong. But because she would give him hell for having an affair after he refused to have anything to do with her because of hers.

You don't know who will influence your wife. Just tell her friends, and let it fall out the way it does.

This is the support section. You don't need a place to blog, you need to implement the plan, starting with exposure. The fastest way to get in a better place is to follow the plan methodically.

The plan is very effective and therefore the best you can do to overcome the worst of the situation. Without a plan you are tempted to let your emotions run away with you. You are in an emotional rollercoaster. Trust the advice given to you, it has helped hundreds of betrayed spouses on the road to recovery.

Did you read the links in this post?
http://forum.marriagebuilders.com/ubbt/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2695379#Post2695379

You might want to read other threads. Here's one with a good planned and executed exposure.
http://forum.marriagebuilders.com/ubbt/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2870923

Reading threads and listening to radio shows is a fast way to educate yourself on the subject of infidelity.
Here's a show on infidelity. http://www.marriagebuilders.com/radio_program/play_segment.cfm?sid=7267
Couldn't find a show about a betrayed man that quickly, the advice for women is a bit different from the advice for men, average women can take 3 weeks of plan A, average men can take as long as 6 months. Exposure is always the first and most crucial step.

Thank you so much. I feel a level of betrayal that I've never felt in my life, and it's hurts so much.

How is the exposure preparations coming?

[

I have to be honest, even though I know this exposure has to happen. I'm still nervous about doing it. I can't help but think in the back of my mind that it's just going to make things worse. I know she's going to explode over it. I know the kind of person she is.

EVERY wayward spouse explodes over exposure so I am not sure what you expected. Did you read my exposure thread? We don't care if she explodes over it, we care about saving your marriage.

I am concerned about your exposure plan and would encourage you to post the list of targets [by relationship, not name] and your talking points. Is this current boyfriend the same one she met in Las Vegas? In your letters you need to name her adultery partners. You also need to expose to the OM's facebook friends and family. Are any of the OM married? Do you know? Have you found their facebook pages?

Have you read the exposure 101 thread? This really is dragging out and I hope you start taking some proactive, strategic steps here.

There are apps/programs that you can get to retrieve all deleted texts, but you have to get ahold of the phone


Sending topless photos is NOT an emotional affair.

[

No, the guy in Vegas was some random person. This guy now is an old friend. The only proof that I have of the physical cheating was her confession, no hard proof.

And all the other guys that she had emotional affairs with and sent top less photos to I have no proof of because her phone broke. I only have what I have now through her Facebook messages to her old friend.

Dear friends and family,

I am writing you this message because you are an important person in the lives of xxxx and I. As some of you know, xxxxx has recently asked me for a separation, which has shattered my heart. To my shock, I am saddened to have discovered that the reason is because she has been carrying on an affair with a old boyfriend named xxxxx xxxxx who resides in xxxxxx. In addition to this affair, she recently met up with another man named JoeDirtbag when she visited her dad in Las Vegas in DEcember 2015. She has asked for this separation so she can carry on her affair without my interference.

She refuses to end the affair. I want our marriage to recover from this affair. If you have any influence on my babe, please do what you can to get her to stop this dangerous affair. I want to stay married, but the affair must end.

As our friends and family, I am asking that you use your influence with xxxx to persuade her to end her affair and try to work on our marriage. Our marriage can be salvaged if she would only end the affair. Please support her in doing the right thing. Please support our marriage.

I would so appreciate your support and prayers.

Warmest regards,

And I do have his Facebook account and all his friends and families aswell.

Dear friend of JoeScumbag:

It grieves me to write this letter but I believe all of his friends should know the kind of person he really is. Joe is having an affair with my wife, Sally, that started around XXXX. I believe that his friends should know this, so you can protect your marriage from him. My wife and I have 2 small daughters and this affair has almost wrecked our marriage.

I would appreciate it if someone would notify his parents and ask them to call me at xxx-www-xxxx.

Thank you, BH

That is proof.


Did you see the topless photos? Did you see evidence of an affair on her phone?

What you can say in your exposure letters to HER FAMILY AND FRIENDS would be something like this:


You can attach some of the PMs to this email.



Copy his entire contact list for safe keeping. Prioritize the contacts starting with family and then move to married friends. TRy to determine which friends are his closest and add them to the list. Be sure and contact his GF directly and show her all the FB PMs you have.

Send his family and friends something like this:


Do your exposures by starting with the OM's GF and working through his family and friends list. Send them Facebook PMs and attach the FB PMs that you have.

When you finish those, I would send a mass email with text copies to all your [and hers] family and close friends.