Long time no post... been bouncing between expose/no expose (I know exposure is the philosophy of this group) here's what I've got so far:
First off, it is not "the philosophy of this group;" it is the philosophy of Dr. Bill Harley, clinical psychologist who has saved thousands of marriages in these situations. Every person on this forum who is in a recovered marriage attributes it to exposure. The longer you wait, the LESS effective it will be.
Texting back and forth (in one text she calls him her lover)
He kept inquiring for her to come spend the night
She's admitted to spending one night with him when I was away but "nothing happened"When I confronted she admitted to an EA (but not a PA)
Her admission is your evidence. Of course they slept together. You know they did.
Harder to save your marriage now. But if you want to have any chance, you will have to expose and follow the advice on this forum.
I have shared the A with close friends and family but we haven't discussed exposure and even they are reluctant to expose (not convinced it's the right approach). I also spoke to my pastor who wasn't in favor of exposing.
First off, keeping the affair a secret is an
unbiblical approach and those who are against exposure have no experience in saving marriages. Most people believe affairs should be kept secret. BUT, most people have no earthly idea how to save marriages.
She hasn't requested a D, only time to figure things out. I believe the A has been going on for at least 12 months, possibly 18 months. OM has already left his W - apparently because he walked in on her having an A but I think my W was twisting this and maybe she walked in on them.
The longer the affair goes on without exposure, the harder it will be to save it. One of the first things you will want to do is speak to the OM's wife and find out the truth.
How long have you known about this affair?