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You need to go follow the advice we gave you on your last thread.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Threads have been merged. Please stick to one thread.
MBDenali@gmail.com
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Why have you merged this thread when it's a TOTALLY DIFFERENT TOPIC???? What kind of forum only limits users to one thread?
Last edited by Michael077; 05/26/16 10:24 AM.
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How are these threads different topics?
Your wife is a serial cheater. She is addicted to the high of affairs. Whereas some cheaters become addicted to a specific person who is meeting their needs, your wife is not addicted to a specific individual but rather the high of affairs IN GENERAL. For this reason she actively pursues affairs, one after another.
Whether you call this 'love addiction' or serial cheating, it does not change the course of action. She must live a completely transparent life that has NO ABILITY to be in an affair, or she will have another one.
That is the advice you were given before and that is the same advice you will receive now.
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Why have you merged this thread when it's a TOTALLY DIFFERENT TOPIC???? What kind of forum only limits users to one thread? This is not just a forum, it is a community of people who are dedicated to helping marriages. As a community, we have long standing traditions that were built because they serve a valuable purpose. Who are you to come in a lecture us on how we do things? The people here are not going to ignore the previous advice you have been given. Do you want help, or are you just looking to be told something different?
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Why have you merged this thread when it's a TOTALLY DIFFERENT TOPIC???? What kind of forum only limits users to one thread? Please calm down. The posters here know that it's best for us to have your whole situation visible on one thread in order to give you the best help possible. We also know that people who want to split their situation out into multiple threads when they just arrived and only have 11 posts are shooting themselves in the foot. Let us help you. Trust us.
If you are serious about saving your marriage, you can't get it all on this forum. You've got to listen to the Marriage Builders Radio show, every day. Install the app! Married to my radiant trophy wife, Prisca, 19 years. Father of 8. Attended Marriage Builders weekend in May 2010 If your wife is not on board with MB, some of my posts to other men might help you.
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What we've discovered through therapy is that, due to the way my wife received loved while she was growing up, she is a "Love" addict. I had no idea this even existed! The most common cause of depression and suicide for women and girls is their relationship with their husband or boyfriend. So, yes, women need to be in love. And no, it's not an addiction. And fortunately Dr. Harley is one of the only therapists in the world who can teach you how to create the feeling of romantic love. Everybody else will tell you it's not important or it's an addiction and to learn to live without it or something stupid like that.
If you are serious about saving your marriage, you can't get it all on this forum. You've got to listen to the Marriage Builders Radio show, every day. Install the app! Married to my radiant trophy wife, Prisca, 19 years. Father of 8. Attended Marriage Builders weekend in May 2010 If your wife is not on board with MB, some of my posts to other men might help you.
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So, yes, women need to be in love. And no, it's not an addiction. There is overwhelming evidence that it CAN be a very real addiction, just like alcoholism. Having researched it myself, and listened to a number of other women in her SLAA meetings, I tend to believe it is.
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Even with that, I seriously doubt she will stop cheating but it is your only hope. This is supposed to be a forum for support and encouragement. This type of feedback is neither.
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Michael, this forum is for guiding people to use Dr. Harley's program, which teaches couples how to fall in love. Romantic love. We're all about women needing romantic love.
Your wife needs romantic love. She needs it with you, and no one else, but you are not going to convince us that it's a bad thing for her to need it. Or be addicted to it. Or whatever.
She is a serial cheater, the two of you will need to follow very strict extraordinary precautions to make it. But those extraordinary precautions do not include not being "addicted to love."
We will not help you to try to get your wife not to need romantic love. We WILL help you to get your wife to fall in love with YOU and YOU ALONE, and build a romantic marriage that's better than anything you ever dreamed of.
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Even with that, I seriously doubt she will stop cheating but it is your only hope. This is supposed to be a forum for support and encouragement. This type of feedback is neither. Then why are you using it as a forum to argue, Michael? Please look at the number of posts by MelodyLane's name. Please look at the date she joined. She is the very best we have to offer here and she is almost as good as talking to Dr. Harley himself. So, yes, women need to be in love. And no, it's not an addiction. There is overwhelming evidence that it CAN be a very real addiction, just like alcoholism. Having researched it myself, and listened to a number of other women in her SLAA meetings, I tend to believe it is. Having talked to Dr. Harley myself, I'm convinced that wives need to be in love with their husbands. If you'd like to learn how to do that, you are in the right place, because Dr. Harley has a plan that works to do just that. We would love to help you if that's what you want to do.
If you are serious about saving your marriage, you can't get it all on this forum. You've got to listen to the Marriage Builders Radio show, every day. Install the app! Married to my radiant trophy wife, Prisca, 19 years. Father of 8. Attended Marriage Builders weekend in May 2010 If your wife is not on board with MB, some of my posts to other men might help you.
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Your wife needs romantic love. She needs it with you, and no one else, but you are not going to convince us that it's a bad thing for her to need it. Or be addicted to it. Or whatever. Prisca, tell Michael whether or not you are addicted to me, and whether or not you think that's a good thing. 
If you are serious about saving your marriage, you can't get it all on this forum. You've got to listen to the Marriage Builders Radio show, every day. Install the app! Married to my radiant trophy wife, Prisca, 19 years. Father of 8. Attended Marriage Builders weekend in May 2010 If your wife is not on board with MB, some of my posts to other men might help you.
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Dr. Harley says being addicted to your spouse is a good thing. This is not a forum where we help people learn to live without love. That's not Dr. Harley's approach at all. We don't do that here.
We also don't encourage people to think that their marriage can survive an affair when they don't walk the narrow path that leads to recovery.
If you are serious about saving your marriage, you can't get it all on this forum. You've got to listen to the Marriage Builders Radio show, every day. Install the app! Married to my radiant trophy wife, Prisca, 19 years. Father of 8. Attended Marriage Builders weekend in May 2010 If your wife is not on board with MB, some of my posts to other men might help you.
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Your wife needs romantic love. She needs it with you, and no one else, but you are not going to convince us that it's a bad thing for her to need it. Or be addicted to it. Or whatever. Prisca, tell Michael whether or not you are addicted to me, and whether or not you think that's a good thing. So addicted it hurts when you're gone. Come home. 
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So, yes, women need to be in love. And no, it's not an addiction. There is overwhelming evidence that it CAN be a very real addiction, just like alcoholism. Having researched it myself, and listened to a number of other women in her SLAA meetings, I tend to believe it is. I'm addicted to love! I feel deliriously happy when I have it, and miserable without it. What I don't do is take my knickers down for strangers, or focus on a man other than my husband and fall in love with him. I make it my life's work to create love in my marriage. Your wife's addiction is no different from the feelings that many women have. The problem for her is that she seeks unhealthy ways to fulfil her craving. She has a husband to whom, according to you, she wants to remain married. If that's the case, she needs to learn how she can fulfil her addiction solely within her marriage, and she needs not to expose herself to her weakness for other men. In other words, she needs to follow the checklist.
BW
Married 1989
His PA 2003-2006
2 kids.
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There is overwhelming evidence that it CAN be a very real addiction, just like alcoholism. Having researched it myself, and listened to a number of other women in her SLAA meetings, I tend to believe it is. What are you doing listening to women in SLAA meetings? Why do they let you in there? Are these meetings mixed sex?
BW
Married 1989
His PA 2003-2006
2 kids.
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She has recently started attending SLAA meetings (Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous), and that is helping her to understand and recognize her unhealthy habits. Surely your wife understood and recognised that having sex outside her marriage was unhealthy. Surely she didn't find that out in these meetings. What does SLAA recommend as a way of overcoming the behaviour - having sex with strangers?
BW
Married 1989
His PA 2003-2006
2 kids.
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Prisca, thank you for the sentiment, and I too am dedicated to building a marriage with romantic love. The challenge, of course, is that someone with a "love addiction" lacks the willpower to overcome their impulses, unable to maintain healthy boundaries with other men, and confuses love with physical attraction, pity, or the need to be rescued. These are just a few of the characteristics of someone with this addiction, and while it's a valid to strive for a healthy addiction of love with your spouse, there will always be the risk of her cheating unless the underlying cause of this addiction is identified.
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What does SLAA recommend as a way of overcoming the behaviour - having sex with strangers? Again, another unhelpful and non-encouraging comment. Sarcasm should have no place here.
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