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Exposure is like antibiotics. You'd better take your pills as prescribed in a short period of time instead of taking one pill today and maybe one half next week. It just doesn't have the effect yoy want, even if eventually you took all the pills.
Best exposure is one big blow. You won't feel better instantly, but it is your best chance to kill the infection/affair and get healthy again.
An affair is far worse than a nasty infection. This plan is your best cure.
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Recruited a friend for some recon on the names and possible locations of the parents. Turns my gut into knots doing this. While breifing him, we did find that OM sister whom i also sent an exposure message to has blocked anyone from seeing her friends..
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People finder that i paid for, only offered a couple addresses, which i wrote down but didnt persue per "backing off". Sent my friend to look and keep an eye out for OM vehicle at those addresses. If he finds a connection, ill deliver a letter,or show up and expose
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Joined: Apr 2001
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What other methods are you using to find them? Have you tried google? Whitepages.com?
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Those were the first choices. The site i used is one my mom used during her divorce of her cheating husband. And what she uses at her work office to when she snoops on a new employees. Best i got was a few possible addresses
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So my foggy wife has been acting wierder than her normal fog. Last week i did my exposure sunday into monday. She was very upset with me about it, calling me childish and what not, i got pulled into committing some love busters. Well starting at that point she and OM quit hiding their communications via facebook, and went back to phone calls and texting 24/7. I have still been doing my best plan A. Well the last 3 days her mood has changed, so i looked into the phone history. Their communications stopped yesterday morning. She spent some extra time texting her mom. But her attitude toward me has been just as cold if not colder last 3 days, she even stopped saying thank you for things ive done, like make breakfast before she arrived, or prepped her favorite homemade pancake mix. What does melody think is happening?
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She and OM probably have found another way to communicate. She has no reason to end her affair. Just assume the affair is still alive and stick to your Plan A.
Updates on reaching his parents?
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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But why, they have nothing to hide from me, my wife doesnt deny being in constant contact and that she wants to be with him. They may be back to facebook messaging but why, hour long nightime phone calls and about 3000 texts over the last week and a half. Another hour phone call did take place last night i guess but no texting with each other since yesterday morning. Just seems weird. I know not to expect any acknowledgement of plan A activities, but didnt not expect acknowledgement to decrease, while she accelerates taking (her) stuff from the house. Do i try and reach OMW again or resend message to parents? My wife still hasnt talked with her dads, even ignoring the one regarding her upcoming birthday.
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But why, they have nothing to hide from me, my wife doesnt deny being in constant contact and that she wants to be with him. But why would she stop? She has no reason to stop her affair. Do i try and reach OMW again or resend message to parents? I would try and reach his parents directly as I have explained before.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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I have no numbers to reach them, i have a friend checking on two addresss but not sure how to validate if they reside at these addresses except a description of their sons car possibly showing up. Im not sure why they took their messaging 'back underground' if thats what they did.
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I have no numbers to reach them, What have you done to find their numbers? i have a friend checking on two addresss but not sure how to validate if they reside at these addresses except a description of their sons car possibly showing up. Im not sure why they took their messaging 'back underground' if thats what they did. Have YOU checked those addresses? What happens when you knock on the door?
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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I have my kids with me most of the time, and theirs a good chance they recognize my car and its sound. I want to confront OM as well possibly with either FIL as a witness. Maybe FIL could join me in door knocking... But no kid free chance until next week also should get a VAR. OMW has not replied to me.
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I paid for number and address searches online and only turned up 2 addresses.
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I paid for number and address searches online and only turned up 2 addresses. But you don't seem to be acting on that. There is no use in gathering information if you won't use it. You need to be much more proactive. You can't save a marriage if you are this complacent.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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How do i handle my frustratiin this morning. My wife did not show up to watch our kids. Shes been staying up late with hour long phone conversations to OM. And now shes overslept, costing me a day of work. She did not answer when i called her cell to wake her. I dont want to commit any lovebusters when she either shows or texts.
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When she texted about waking late, i merely texted 'OK'. When she arrived i said good morning. Asked about her sore throat. Then went into the fact she 'seems stretched thin' she warned it would happen if she was to have later hours. I said 'things could be easier if she ended her affair came home and we work on our marriage.' Her response was 'its not just your (my) decision, cant force live if its not there'. I cant figure out what i did so horrific that she has no more romantic love for me, when we had sex up to the night before DDay. Is this a lost case. She never engages me at all except business, when i hug her she stands and waits for it to be over..
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I cant figure out what i did so horrific You may or may not have done something horrific. It wouldn't matter, Lost, she's in the fog. when i hug her she stands and waits for it to be over.. If she isn't engaging you in a hug then I don't think trying to is a good idea. You have to try to fill the needs she will let you, which may be none while she's in affair-land.
Me: 57 Her: 54
M: 31 years
Kids(DS23, DD20, DS18)
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Exactly, im pretty sure i know her EN. But currently she lets me fill none. The only thing i got is being superdad and upkeeping the house. Its like shes trying to planB me, for her new man. As i keep reading through WD thread, i did notice how my wife is trying the slip away quietly unnoticed with a quiet divorce, she hasnt filed, but doesnt want lawyers, or me paying for child support/alimony. She wants it wuick n simple... If she ever files.
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So now my wife had some new fire today. I brought home some throat lozenges for her sore throat, and some roses as part of my weekly appreciation for her getting up early to watch kids at my place, On top of the homemade pancake mix. When she left this afternoon she intentionally left it all on the counter. I asked if she was taking any with her, she said no. I also noticed a peice of paper with some phone numbers written down. They corresponded to my phone records. So shes pissed im being nice, and snooping on my phone records... What gives.
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So now my wife had some new fire today. I brought home some throat lozenges for her sore throat, and some roses as part of my weekly appreciation for her getting up early to watch kids at my place, On top of the homemade pancake mix. When she left this afternoon she intentionally left it all on the counter. I asked if she was taking any with her, she said no. I also noticed a peice of paper with some phone numbers written down. They corresponded to my phone records. So shes pissed im being nice, and snooping on my phone records... What gives. If I were you, I would replace that piece of paper with a complete record containing all the information you can about each phone call. If she asks, tell here that you noticed she was curious, and so you wanted to satisfy her curiosity.
me-65
wife-61
married for 40 years
DS - 38, autistic, lives at home
DD - 37, married and on her own
DS - 32, still living with us
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