I would like to know if I can mend our marriage. I confessed to my wife about my infidelity. I know, It's a shame. I did wrong. I confessed to her. I didn't want a part of this. But, It happened. We are married for 4 years and have a 2-year-old son.
I love my wife a lot. I love her, I need her to be with me. Our relationship started like a fairy tale and married like one too. After she conceived, I can say that my mind waived from our marriage oath. This new girl in the office , we started off as good friends. I had invited her to our house. My wife knows her too. But, slowly that relation became physical. She was irresistible for me. She had a carefree life. I failed to remember my oath as a husband.
We continued to hook up the past two years without my wife knowing. I would have confessed a 1000 time to my wife while she is asleep. I regretted that relationship but, things happened.
3 months back, This girl left the office. She moved to another town. I came to my senses then. I confessed to my wife in front of the church. I swore to God that I would never repeat; and she should never leave me for that. It broke her heart more than I expected. Thanks to my friends and her family we are still living in the same house for our son.
I am ready to take the blame , but I don't want to loose them. My friends are asking us to see a **edit** I don't know whether it would help but, I wish to try as our marriage is hanging on a balance.
I am so sorry for my mistakes. I want to convince her that. Can a therapy help me gain her trust? I would like to know your thoughts and advice regarding this. My son is growing and I don't want him to grow up seeing his parents like this. Share your thoughts.

Sorry for the long post.
Thanks for your time.

Hi Lostship, welcome to Marriage Builders. Your marriage can recover with the program outlined in Surviving an Affair. You would start by affair proofing your marriage using the checklist in the book. The problem is not a lack of trust, but too much trust. It is not a lack that ruins marriages, but a lack of boundaries. In your case, a lack of boundaries around women is what led to your affair. It sounds like you foster opposite sex friendships, which is the cause of affairs. Unless that is addressed and change, there will be more affairs in the future.

From Surviving an Affair, pg 66-67

The extraordinary precautions do more than end marriage-threatening affairs; they help a couple form the kind of relationship they always wanted.

These recommendations may seem rigid, unnecessarily confining, and even paranoid to those who have not been the victim of infidelity. But people like Sue and Jon, who have suffered unimaginable pain as a result of an affair that spun out of control, can easily see their value. For the inconvenience of following my advice, Sue would have spared herself and Jon the very worst experience of their lives.


Checklist for How Affairs Should End

_____The unfaithful spouse should reveal information about the affair to the betrayed spouse.

_____The unfaithful spouse should make a commitment to the betrayed spouse to never see or talk to the lover OP again.

_____The unfaithful spouse should write a letter to the lover OP ending the relationship and send it with the approval of the betrayed spouse.

_____The unfaithful spouse should take extraordinary precautions to guarantee total separation from the lover OP:

_____Block potential communication with the lover OP (change e-mail address and home and cell phone numbers, and close all social networking accounts; have voice messages and mail monitored by the betrayed spouse).

_____Account for time (betrayed spouse and wayward spouse give each other a twenty-four-hour daily schedule with locations and telephone numbers).

_____Account for money (betrayed spouse and wayward spouse give each other a complete account of all money spent).

_____Spend leisure time together.

_____Change jobs and relocate if necessary.

_____Avoid overnight separation.

_____Allow technical accountability.

_____ Expose affair to family members, clergy, and/or friends.

Lost ship...hit notify and ask the moderators to move your post to surviving an affair. Your thread needs advice from there.

Bumping..