I had this nice long post last night, but I lost it. <P>He did it!!! H changes his number(3 days ago), blocked OW's email (2 days ago), and sent the no contact letter yesterday!!!<P>We didn't talk about why H was so mad (will save for MC appt. tomorrow). H came over, logged on to computer, calls me over, says "is this good"? I read the no contact letter (had no clue that was what he was doing), said "that's wonderful". He asked me to stay, I watched him hit send and that was it.<P>The letter was great. It had everything it should have. It said that my wanted to work things out with me and that he must never see/talk to OW again. Asked her to never contact him, said he loved me and that he wanted a chance to show me how sorry he was for the pain he caused me and the kids. He said he was going to do everything he could to get back a good relationship with us.<P>Nothing like the 1st draft, huh? Maybe H just needed to do that to "get the ball rolling", not really sure...<P>This is just the beginning, I know. We still need to work on a recovery plan, but hopefully we can do that in MC. H talks often about coming home and giving up his safety zone (his apartment). Need to wait until the MC says it is a good idea though, don't want to rush things. <P>Now the fun begins, huh? I have to brace myself for more truths (although H says he told me everything, y'no how that is), more resentment, anger, etc... I still don't love my H yet, but it is getting there, soon, soon. My love bank was so low...<P>Thank you everyone for not letting me give up when I wanted to throw in the towel. I know I will still need some encouragement here and there when it gets rough, but hopefully we will make it...<P><BR>Here's a timeline:<BR>-Early April,2001: D-day #1 - find out H is "in love" with fellow student. EA only.<BR>-Late April, 2001: Found out H lied about kissing OW, I leave with kids for a few days<BR>-early May, 2001: H tries to ignore OW (does not end it, just does not see her), we go to 3 MC appt's, he says he is only there "for the kids".<BR>-early June: H moves out to go "clear his head", not supposed to re-start things with OW, but does within a few days.<BR>-just after: D-day #2 - Find out H is back with OW, H totally anhilates me on phone with his words (never wanted to be married, only with me cuz' no one better, etc.). I go to plan B.<BR>-H goes PA but I don't know it.<BR>-late June: H starts talking about getting back together. I end plan B. (PA lasted 3-4 weeks total)<BR>-early July: PA ends, EA continues, H still talking but is not DOING. Leads me to believe it is over, but contact still continuing.<BR>-mid July: D-day #3 - I find out H went PA and he lied this whole past month (said was only EA). H says he loves me. I freak, go to plan B again (bad idea - only lasts 2 days).<BR>-late July: H ends EA with OW, still talking, doing little actions here and there, but refuses extraordinary precautions. Starts saying he loves me again more often.<BR>-August: H starts counseling and is doing more and more to rebuild relationship. I start counseling soon afterwards.<BR>-early Sept: Marriage Counseling starts<BR>-3 days ago: H changes phone number (extraordinary precaution #1)<BR>-2 days ago: H blocks OW email (extraordinary precaution #2)<BR>-Yesterday: H sends no contact letter (extraordinary precaution #3).<P>Those are the 3 things I asked my H to do to prove he was serious about our marriage. PA ended about 10 weeks ago, contact ended about 8 weeks ago, extraordinary precautions taken within the past few days.<P>That is where I am today. We have another MC appointment tomorrow. I feel very good inside.<P>HbH

<P>Congratulations cyber hug:<P>((((((((((((((((((HbH)))))))))))))))))<P>Now get workin' girl!!!

Prayers your way. Good luck. Don't forget there will be many highs & lows but keep hanging in there, just think about how far you have come.<P>NO LB's & follow the POJA.

I am so happy for you!!! That is wonderful news!!! I know very well the relief and euphoria you're experiencing right now. But just as a warning, it's not going to last for too long... so enjoy it now! <P>There's a different kind of work ahead of you and your H now. And many times, it's harder than doing your initial plan A or B (b's in your case... grin). The hardest issue is rebuilding the trust back. But I can assure you, it DOES happen (but oh so gradually, that you won't really notice it for a few months).<P>Congrats again!<P>Karen<BR>

You got to love it when a plan comes together.<BR>I cant wait till that day comes for me . Best of luck .

HbH:<P>Thank you, thank you, thank you. It is so wonderful to see good news. My d-day was also in early April and I am glad to see your efforts paying off. The encouragement is very helpful today. Continued success with POJA and other work.<BR>SG<BR>

WOW - some great news!!! <P>You're right about taking it slowly and steadily forward now and not rush things too much. Patience, patience, patience (I just thought - I need to write this to myself too!! ). <P>Many hugs, <BR>Paint.

HBH!!!! I'm so happy for you. Continue to pray to God for discernment. I don't want to burst any bubbles, for it appears your H is backing up his words with actions, but be careful and cautious. Thanks for all you do to help ME. I wish you the best as you truly begin the long road ahead.<P>MOM

HbH:<P>Great news! The road to recovery is one road where zorweb and I want a traffic jam!<P>Godspeed,<BR>STL

This is the type of wonderful news that I needed to hear today! Hope is the one thing that should never be diminished. It's what keeps us going and going and going...and hopefully in the right direction.<P>Be persistent with the hard work that you've shown in trying to keep your marriage intact. It will all pay off!<P>Kudos to you kid.<P>------------------<BR><B>Time heals all wounds as long as you DON'T pick at them!</B><p>[This message has been edited by GeezLouise (edited September 20, 2001).]

Hi Hbh,<P>I am so glad to hear this good news. <P><<<<<many many hugs>>>>><P>L.<BR>