Welcome to the
Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum
This is a community where people come in search of marriage related support, answers, or encouragement. Also, information about the Marriage Builders principles can be found in the books available for sale in the Marriage Builders® Bookstore.
If you would like to join our guidance forum, please read the Announcement Forum for instructions, rules, & guidelines.
The members of this community are peers and not professionals. Professional coaching is available by clicking on the link titled Coaching Center at the top of this page.
We trust that you will find the Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum to be a helpful resource for you. We look forward to your participation.
Once you have reviewed all the FAQ, tech support and announcement information, if you still have problems that are not addressed, please e-mail the administrators at
mbrestored@gmail.com
|
|
|
|
Joined: Aug 1999
Posts: 30
Member
|
OP
Member
Joined: Aug 1999
Posts: 30 |
I just found out my husband is going to meet up with another woman after work TODAY! What can I do to mess up his plans without him knowing I have a clue.<P>HELP!HELP! HELP!
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Dec 1969
Posts: 6,937
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Dec 1969
Posts: 6,937 |
Latrice:<P>I'm afraid that it's honesty that you should be practicing. You need to let him know what you believe he's up to---without lovebusters. That doesn't mean you shouldn't state your objections to this, but you don't do it in a demeaning or disrespectful way.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 1999
Posts: 155
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Jun 1999
Posts: 155 |
Do you know where they are going?<BR>Can you have a mini-emergency (like the car breaks down somewhere and he needs to rescue you?)<BR>Do you know the OW anyway you can delay her arrival?<BR>
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Aug 1999
Posts: 30
Member
|
|
OP
Member
Joined: Aug 1999
Posts: 30 |
No, I don't know where they are going or who she is. I just overheard him on the phone make quick plans for something after work.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 1999
Posts: 155
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Jun 1999
Posts: 155 |
Call him and suggest an evening out.....If he doesn't want to GO OUT WITHOUT HIM!!! Let him know your going out.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jul 1999
Posts: 369
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Jul 1999
Posts: 369 |
I'm sorry but I don't know your entire story.... I think you should tell him flat out that you overheard him and that you know that he is meeting with her. Maybe you can get him to talk about it and not meet her. Remember that you cannot force you H to not do what he wants to. He has to want not to meet with the OW and stay at home.... Otherwise it's for the wrong reasons. Good luck<P>------------------<BR>Rutger......One day at a time.<P>
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jul 1999
Posts: 726
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Jul 1999
Posts: 726 |
Latrice,<P>I'm with K and Rutger on this. You have to tell him you overheard his plans. And like K says, avoid the lovebusting behavior. In other words, no yelling and screaming, no name-calling, whatever.<P>--airheart
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Aug 1999
Posts: 762
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Aug 1999
Posts: 762 |
Latrice, you know your H and how he would react.<P>Honesty is the best policy, but sometimes, I think you can jump the gun if you don't have enough information. There are too many of us here whose Hs have told us that we were crazy, imagining things, paranoid, stupid, etc.<P>Personally, if I were in your shoes, I'd be making arrangements to follow my H from work and finding out who the OW is. Another thing you could do would be to show up at his work dressed to kill and tell him you want to go out and have fun with him. In case he turned me down, though, I'd have a friend ready to follow him.<P>I'd also be bugging my phone line.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Aug 1999
Posts: 818
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Aug 1999
Posts: 818 |
You need to talk to him right away. Tell him you overheard him and get it out in the open. If you were just to do something behind his back to prevent his going, it would turn on you believe me. He would get angry at you for getting in the way of him seeing her. No, you really need to hit this one right between the eye's with honesty.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Aug 1999
Posts: 23
Junior Member
|
|
Junior Member
Joined: Aug 1999
Posts: 23 |
Why are you trying to hide from him? Tell him you know and bring it out in the open! Be honest.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Aug 1999
Posts: 100
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Aug 1999
Posts: 100 |
Latrice, I think both answers are right! It all depends on your H. Is he honest enough to tell you the truth? Say if you confront him and he says your wrong and convinces you that it's something other than a OW. How would you know for sure? IF your unsure about what is happening, maybe spying is the best idea. So you know for sure! And by the way how do you know who the conversation was with on the phone? If he is not meeting a OW but has a meeting for other reasons, how will you know? No harm done if you see him with someone other than, but what makes you think this anyway? Please explain!<BR>I hope that wasn't to confusing, I just know I have had times that I jumped to conclusions, but for good reason. Sometimes it was nothing.<BR>Ginn
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Aug 1999
Posts: 30
Member
|
|
OP
Member
Joined: Aug 1999
Posts: 30 |
If I tell him I heard him, he is going to say that I heard wrong. Which I didn't. He is going to make it seem like I am hearing things and that I am crazy for thinking he is meeting up with her today. Point blank, he is going to lie to me. I want to bust him so he can't lie to me anymore. This may be my only hard evidence regarding his cheating.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Dec 1969
Posts: 102
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Dec 1969
Posts: 102 |
well then your best bet would be to spy on him and follow him from work. This way you find out who the OP is and if you can hang tight long enough you might be able to time it just right and catch them in the act of something....like a kiss. Think about it, how in the world would he be able to lie his way out of being in the middle of a passionate kiss with her and then he opens his eyes to see you standing right there? At that point I'd suggest giving him a smile that could kill and walk away. What you do with all that info is up to you, but make sure you know what the deal is, don't jump to any conclusions and don't buy his cheap lies. Trust me, I know, I fell for plenty with my wife.
|
|
|
|
1 members (1 invisible),
291
guests, and
57
robots. |
|
Key:
Admin,
Global Mod,
Mod
|
|
|
|
|
|
