I know you want to hold her. [img]images/icons/frown.gif" border="0[/img] I told my H when he moved out last Saturday... "It's like you want me to stop loving you" hmmmmm I dunno. like we want them to keep loving us, I guess.<p>weird thing... maybe I'm just building up a wall right now - self-defense. but I don't really want him back. he's not the man I fell in love with anymore. I will stretch out the D process, because I still believe his heart can change, and we can make the marriage work, but he will have to really get my attention if he wants to come back. i'm not missing him anymore.<p>well, sorry to ramble. [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] <p>I know you want your kids. really. Because you love them soooo much. But you want them to be happy - so you are trying to decide what is best for them. I really wish you would keep them, and avoid contact with your W. You would be such a good dad, I just know it. With your Marine values and commitment, and the amount of love and devotion for your family. I dunno... just thinking out loud again.

tnt and ewe??? where'd you go???

Faith,<p> You have listened to me. Now I will listen to you. Tell me alittle about your story. I hurt for you on one of your replys to me. I don't know who I would be without my children. You said that your bday was the 14th of sept. If you don't mind me asking. How old are you. I am 25 years old. My WS is 27 years old.<p>Indy

I don't mind listening at all. [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] you're just changing the subject cuz I want you to keep your kids. [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] hehe. [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] <p>sigh... I'm 32. I'm doing fine really. H has been a jerk ever since he gave me the D papers... yet he wants to remain "friends" with me. i had told him I didn't want to be friends if we got divorced. But him being a jerk is making this easier for me to move on. It just proves he is not the same man. Well, I say he's being a jerk... he is a jerk, and then next conversation he is friendly. I don't want to even bother trying to figure him out.<p>you are 25? married 7 years? married young. <p>I wonder how you can still be so in love with her with all she has done to you in the past year. That's really admirable. but it's really hard on you, isn't it? No contact and Plan B will really be hard on her, and will give her a taste of life without you in it. She wil miss you.

Faith,<p> I am sorry that your H is such a jerk. Yes, I married very young. I got married one month to the day of my 18th bday. <p> As far as loving my wife. I love her enough to die for her. I would also kill for her or my kids if I had too.<p>Indy

hehe... thanks. I feel sorry for HIM. my H. it's his loss. Not I wasn't a perfect W, but I was a darn good one. I hate that he's being a jerk too. I still plan on killing him with kindness. It's hard sometimes, but I know I can do it. It's just what he needs to realize what he's losing.<p>Indy, if you love your W and kids that much, I think you should truly keep them, and go to Plan B. You should really probably Plan A a little longer, but it's obviously too hard for you.... sometimes it's like that. If you say you would kill for them - and you would prolly take a bullet for them - then take this bullet and remain in their life. They need you soooooo much. You are prolly their only hope for growing up with values and the true meaning of love. Take the bullet of pain that you face when you see or hear from your w. If you go to Plan B.... no contact.... this part will be easier. You won't see or talk to her.<p>sorry.... didn't mean to start preaching about all that. but I see the passion you have for your kids. they need you, and YOU need THEM.

Faith,<p> I don't know about plan A. The letter that I wrote to her I think is pretty clear. Don't you. I am not all that much of a person to miss. I don't know. It just really hurts me to see my kids suffering. That is exactly what has happened. It is almost like she doesn't even care about them. She is just worried that the OM might leave her. I look at it this way. She is in for a big suprise when my orders come in. If they transfer me out of state we will find out how much she loves this guy. The kids would go with me. She said all that she needs to say to me. She told me that she hated me on thursday. That broke my heart again. What does she want me to do? Drop everything when she is here?<p>Indy

ok, darnit. [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] I better go read your letter again. tee-hee. I knew you were gonna quiz me on it. [img]images/icons/tongue.gif" border="0[/img] <p>ok, I know you hate to see your kids suffering. suffering because you and W are not together? suffering because she doesn't seem to care about them? which?.... help me... <p>I think she will miss you, because doesn't she call you quite a bit? And yes, if OM dumps her, you will need to be her safe harbour - to scoop her up, forgive her, and be her strength.<p>I'm going to read the letter again. [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] you are prolly right....

Hey All,<p> Anyone still up?

Faith,<p> She calls me just to see the kids. She doesn't want to talk to me. <p>Indy

hi jd! i think me and indy is all.<p>ok, i read the letter again. that was such a good letter..... really. [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] <p>yes. the letter said all you need to say. other than that, avoiding contact will spare you some pain. Be nice when you talk to her, but stick with your plan.<p>she doesn't miss you right now, maybe. only time will tell. you didn't get along in high school, but she came to realize what a good person you are, and wanted to be a part of your life. She will either realize this again, or you will be able to move on, Indy. I know you want her. But you are right in that she sucked the life and soul right out of you - she's not good for you. Your cup will refill. in time.... then you can be there for HER, or you will be strong enough to move on without her. You need to find a way to refill your cup. your relationship with your kids... your loving parents (you're so lucky to have them).... your work. Late night chats on MB. hehe [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] (sorry had to throw that in there [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] )

Faith,<p> That is ok. I just want her to want me again. I don't know if that will ever happen again. i just know that I won't know if I could trust her again, until she tries. I dont' think that she will. I am going to sign off for now. I will post some tomorrow. <p>Indy

Indy,<p> Listen to faith, she is a jewel. At least think about what she is telling you. I wish you luck buddy.<p> Now, I will politely back out of your conversation.<p> Bout time for me to get some shuteye. <p> jd

I was about to say good night myself.
Have a good day tomorrow. Hang in there. YOu know we are here for you. thanks for talking to me too.<p>Take care of yourself. k? [img]images/icons/wink.gif" border="0[/img]

I'm still here... No TNT... he isn't here at all, he is staying with whoever will take him during the week and then hotel with TPST bimbo on weekends... looking for a trailor of their own... JDMAC I sent you email..did you get it?

ummmm....well I have so many people emailing me I'm not sure without seeing your name or email address.<p> email me again if ya want....lol<p> jd

well, aren't we mr popular :-)

yeah, for real.... busy e-mail in-box, huh??

come on now ladies.....not THAT popular....hehe<p> Give me 2 minutes and I'll tell you who you are....lol<p> jd

hehe.. glad you can tell me who I am. I been wondering!!! [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img]