Welcome to the
Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum
This is a community where people come in search of marriage related support, answers, or encouragement. Also, information about the Marriage Builders principles can be found in the books available for sale in the Marriage Builders® Bookstore.
If you would like to join our guidance forum, please read the Announcement Forum for instructions, rules, & guidelines.
The members of this community are peers and not professionals. Professional coaching is available by clicking on the link titled Coaching Center at the top of this page.
We trust that you will find the Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum to be a helpful resource for you. We look forward to your participation.
Once you have reviewed all the FAQ, tech support and announcement information, if you still have problems that are not addressed, please e-mail the administrators at
mbrestored@gmail.com
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jul 2000
Posts: 756
Member
|
OP
Member
Joined: Jul 2000
Posts: 756 |
<p>[ January 09, 2002: Message edited by: OffOnOnOff ]</p>
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Nov 2001
Posts: 137
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Nov 2001
Posts: 137 |
Unless it causes spouse great uneasiness or repulsion, I think hugging S and even saying you love spouse, while possibly unnatural from your history, will start taking on the feeling of normalcy in both partners. From there, if things are going in right direction, S will start liking attention and then even reciprocate (somewhat). This is where I am now with my W. <p>Before I started doing this, I made it clear to W that I do not expect her to respond in kind if she didn't feel like it, but that I felt a need to express my feelings toward her. Sounds like you are moving in the right direction and I would say keep it up!
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Sep 2000
Posts: 10,060
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Sep 2000
Posts: 10,060 |
YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!<p>If I can't have progress, the next best thing is seeing someone else's!! Especially a long term survivor!!<p>OOOO, I'm proud of you. Slow but sure, you will get there.<p>Now, about that beer with me and eyeswideopen........
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jul 2000
Posts: 756
Member
|
|
OP
Member
Joined: Jul 2000
Posts: 756 |
<p>[ January 09, 2002: Message edited by: OffOnOnOff ]</p>
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jul 2000
Posts: 756
Member
|
|
OP
Member
Joined: Jul 2000
Posts: 756 |
<p>[ January 09, 2002: Message edited by: OffOnOnOff ]</p>
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 1,900
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 1,900 |
OOOO,<p>Wow, what news. slowy and steady wins the race. Like Wat, it is nice to see a long timer finally have some good news.<p>still think you need to call Steve.hey I can't nag my OS right now, so I have to nag someone right!<p>remember HUGS are the order of the day.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 852
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 852 |
I'm so happy for you! I know hugs were the only form of close contact with my H for MONTHS after his very involved EA/PA last year.In my case- H cut off all intimacy with me as soon as his EA turned PA and OW insisted he not kiss me let alone anything more intimate. Giving H a hug was the one thing I refused to stop doing despite the horrific situation we got in when he was first angry, then filed on me and then was non-commital for a few months about whether he wanted our marriage or not. When an A has a serious emotional attachment going anything you can do to maintain some closeness can be a plus as you wait out their withdrawal stage and indecision. I know it worked in our favor- H and I are VERY intimate now and in a good recovery which I thought last year would not even be possible.OW's jealous nature began to irritate H over time. Take care- lifeismessy
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2000
Posts: 1,743
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Jun 2000
Posts: 1,743 |
OOOO,<p>This is the best news on the board this morning!!! I am very excited and hopeful for you today. With your new half hour of alone time and date nights, things should spice up. Don't be suprised if your first few nights out are awkward. Ours were. Once you get used to going out together again, you will really value the time together. Keep it up!<p>cleo
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: May 2001
Posts: 1,227
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: May 2001
Posts: 1,227 |
OOOO, that is awesome! I am so happy for you. I too hope this is a sign of better things to come. It definately can't hurt!!<p>Keep up the hugging. You are doing awesome!
HbH
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jul 2000
Posts: 756
Member
|
|
OP
Member
Joined: Jul 2000
Posts: 756 |
<p>[ January 09, 2002: Message edited by: OffOnOnOff ]</p>
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2000
Posts: 310
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Apr 2000
Posts: 310 |
OK, OOOO, WAT and I are up for a night on the town with you.. let's figure something out... you're, uh, not to pinpoint you down, but I think you are near the mixing bowl? or not? I know you are on the 95 corridor, right? send me email if you like... debminett@aol.com
|
|
|
|
2 members (2 invisible),
476
guests, and
72
robots. |
|
Key:
Admin,
Global Mod,
Mod
|
|
|
|
|
|
