Hi-I wanted to stop in and see what was happening here and give an update on my life [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] Some of you remember me and some of you have probably never seen me before. <p>I first came here in August 1999. Wow-seems so long ago. I was such a basket case.<p>A brief on my situation. H and my best friend had an almost 2 year affair before he confessed all to-I had never suspected a thing-June 1, 1999. I was devastated, in denial, numb, jumpy, broken-hearted, mad........oh the list could go on and on.<p>I could not believe either my H or my friend could do this to me-to our families-to each other. <p>I spoke with the pastor of a church in town-we live in a very small town. I went on anti-depressants. I finally went to my doctor and got a referral for therapy through them. After about 4 visits with this dim wit pyschiatrist I gave it up. My whole reason for going was the fact that I was so unable to put it out of my mind. I so missed my friend, I so missed the life I thought I had before D-Day. I could NOT come to terms with what had happened. I thought about the A 24 hours a day-seriously. I was beyond obsessed. The pyschiatrist said I "seemed to be stuck". Well no duh-and why did I tell you I was here for therapy?<p>So I went on my own-with the help of the meds and being as ornery as I could be whenever I wanted to be to my H. H stuck by me every minute of every day since D-Day-he is still here with me.<p>I ought to be happy huh? I read all your sad horrific stories and tried to count my lucky stars but never could get past my losses.<p>The OW contacted me in October 2000. I was elated-wanted so badly to forget what had happened and have her back in my life. Well, we gave it a whirl but after 5 months it came to a halt. About 4 months into our talks things went bad. She would share all her happy events with me-not thinking how hurt I must be to no longer be a part of her life other than to hear her stories of fun with other people. Her H was very against she and I talking or having any type relationship. As she told me-it wasn't me but I was a reminder of my H. So, more punishment for me that I did not deserve.<p>Then came the time she emailed me and said my H wasn't very good to her. HELLO? Wrong thing to say to me after I caught her in many lies. And then when she said how she was so stressed talking with me about "it" that she was a bad wife, mom, student, employee..........I said see ya.<p>It was hard. I still thought about all we had shared and how I missed her and those good times.<p>Then one day recently I saw her-and I felt nothing. It was so odd-not a thing. Then again last week I saw her and two of her 3 kids in a local dept store. She seemed to be everywhere I was headed to shop. After trying 3 times to go to a certain spot only to see her there I said to my kids "let's go soemwhere else and shop, we can come back here later". We left and when we went back she was gone. Again I felt nothing.<p>I don't miss her any more. She lied to me. She stole something very precious to me. While she did apologize over and over to me she never did take full responsibility for her part of the A. My H has taken all responsibility for his actions. H is beyond apologetic.<p>For anyone thinking they will never recover or it will never get out of their minds please listen to me-IT WILL [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] I am proof!<p>It took forever but I have become a stronger and very much wiser person. H and I are deeply in love and I know in my heart he will never hurt me again.<p>I will always pray for each and every one of you. Some of you will go down that gosh awful roller coaster and fall off. But hold your head up-you are your best friend.<p>I wish you all a very happy holiday season-make it all you want it to be [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] <p>Good bye

Hi Heartache,<p>It's so wonderful to see you, and in such GREAT spirits too!<p>You know, I made a new name for myself here (Nyneve) and when I saw your post I thought, you know, there's something to be said for keeping the "old" (as in holding on to the dear things in our lives)... perhaps your marriage is one of those things? [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] <p>So I decided to go back to my original name and take off my massive history signature line and just LIVE.<p>Sounds like you decided to LIVE!! I am very happy for you!!<p>Have a WONDERFUL Christmas with your family, dear one!!

Ah Sheryl,<p>I always liked the "old " you best!!!<p>I have much to be thankful for-and I need to be happy for my sake, the kids sake, and for H's sake. I just spent 2 1/2 yrs mourning the death of a friend-so to speak. I think that is long enough-don't you? LOL<p>It is so odd how just over night I stopped caring-although we all know it has really taken 2 1/2 yrs to get to this point.<p>But I will dare anyone to say I give up easily [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img]
I am a fighter. I would have loved to have been able to work things out a bit differently but that just wasn't in the cards. The loss is hers however...not mine!!<p>Take care my dear friend-and thanks for being right here to respond to me [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] You won't be forgotten.

Hey woman!!<p>It's so great to see that you finally have some closure! [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img]
You know how happy I am for you! <p>I'll email ya this evening! So much to tell! [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] <p>HUGS!
Mitzi [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img]

Good to see you back Heartache, and I'm really glad to see that the pain has faded. Please don't just disappear, there are new women and men here with spouses and friends who had an A. They need to see that even that double betrayal can be survived and with time, gotten past.<p>Deb

HA,<p>Glad to see you happy. Your story can/will help so many people. check back in every once in awhile.<p>Sheryl<p>I like you in any name. Hope things are getting better. I believe you have a specail day this wk. Have a happy one, you deserve it. One of these days I am going to use my other name, but I haven't felt steely in awhile.<p>Happy Holidays to you both and may the next year be the best ever. Remember the best is yet to come.

Mitzi-Wow girlfriend-I haven't seen you in ages. And ummmmmmmmmm........you didn't write me anything yet [img]images/icons/frown.gif" border="0[/img] <p>Closure-what a fantastic word! I can not begin to explain how at peace I am. Lord knows I ahve earned it.<p>It was good to see you are still out here. Hope to see email soon.

Bozos Deb-Ah, thanks for the kind words [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] I am not really disappearing. But being here at MB can cause me to backslide big time. I can read someones story-it brings back all my pain and anger-and then I don't give good advice at all [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] I tend to say whatever is on my mind-and let me tell you-I have no use for cheaters in my life.<p>I would love to be able to help each and every person who comes here needing help. But my hope is they can get the right help from the right people. I just posted my update to show those who had no hope, no hope of ever getting it out of their poor daily thinking, that the day will indeed come. And it feels so good [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] <p>Take care and thanks for posting a reply.

Sing-good to see you. Thanks for the kind words. I hope your world turns out as happy as it can be [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] I am here praying for you.<p>Take care