i need some help. my marriage has seriously struggled in the last two years because my wife has BPD. she was diagnosed a few years after our marriage and i have managed to cope well until i discovered she was having an affair with a colleague. I was devastated.I finally left my wife and two children because i could not cope any longer with the lies and deceit. i see the childern often as i can but i am finding it really hard to get support in the uk.there just does not seem to be much information.can anyone help.

<small>[ January 23, 2003, 08:37 PM: Message edited by: Neesha ]</small>

WOW... it was spooky for me to read you post. My H had an A last year... with my own sister. She is the one who has BPD, and has since decided to tell my family and friends that my H raped her (repeatedly for several months!!!) My entire family is lost as to what we can do... she even went so far as to call the police and file a complaint!!! (nothing came of it!) I am very sorry that you are having to deal with this, but I have to admit that it is comforting to know I am not the only one dealing with a person with BPD!

If you come up with any ideas for how to deal with the BPD, I would love to hear them!!!

I wish you all the luck in the world!

-mcnyh

BPD is one of the most difficult personality disorders to treat. I feel for you, having to live with this situation. The relentless negativity, the ambivilence and chaotic emotional state of these patients is exhausting for everyone. The stress must be terrible. There is a book about BPD that might be helpful (I read it yrs ago when tying to help a friend with BPD) called _I Hate You, Don't Leave Me_. Sorry I can't remember the author.
Good luck.

What the heck is this? Binbag is posting as Porshe's wife over in D&D....on here we are told he is a man?

Please, Binbag, do not play games here. It is hurtful to people you don't even know, because game playing is what we have had to put up with from our WS's.

Which post is the truth? And if you AREN'T Porshe's wife, WHO are you?

Hi nina,

She is probably diagnosed with borderline personality disorder herself... lol !!! or try to convince porche with it.

Thanks for the head up ... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

-rh-

I'd hesitated to post this before because it's too easy to wrongly "self-diagnose" or wrongly diagnose our S, but the latest issue of Time magazine has a very good series of articles on Our Mind, Our Body, including an excellent one on BPD, and other resources.

Here are the links:
Time Magazine-Table of Contents-Our Mind, Our Body Series

In Denial - Personality Disorders

<small>[ January 19, 2003, 08:59 AM: Message edited by: Spacecase ]</small>

Good Morning, everyone!

It's a beautiful day here, the sun is shining and the air is crisp and, for Houston, cold!

Space, thanks for pointing out the article in Time.. I get the mag, but hadn't read it yet.

My STBX has BPD, as diagnosed by our MC, but, like so many, he refuses to believe that he has anything "wrong" with him. His entire family has tried to get him to go to therapy, but he insists that somehow I have poisoned their minds against him. Even the fact that his sister is on several different meds to help her make it through each day (and let me say how much I admire her.. her journey has been tough) hasn't moved him into a therapist's office.

I have discussed this with our kids, and, although (TG!)neither of them displays any symptoms, I have encouraged them to be open to the benefits of therapy in their lives.

BPD can be devastating, but it can also be managed.

It makes me very sad... we could have made this marriage work, if BOTH of us had been willing to look at our own *devils*

Have a glorious day!

-almost50

Space , thanks for the links you added to you point, how did you know I was sufferng from "DLS" dysfunctional Lazy Sufing..... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

If you seriously wanted help on BPD you would find it at www.bpdcentral.com and in the book "I hate you, don't leave me". These are two of the primary sources.