I want to try and make this short and sweet... but for those of you who know me, that isn't always easy. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />
I am no longer at the shelter. On December 30, the boys and I regained the "matrimonial home", while H moved out (and probably "in" to his new OW's house - someone whom he had sleeping at the house by mid December - the boys and I moved out on November 24th).
The big "details" that I was hesitant to share before, involve a lot of serious situations. One concern, was keeping my whereabouts hidden for safety reasons, and another concern, has to do with Children's Aid (CAS) involvement AND Police involvement.
I'll start with the CAS. On the day that I moved the kids out with me and to an abused women's shelter, H had hit Eric extremely hard. So hard in fact, that I took a picture of Eric's leg 20 or 30 minutes AFTER he was struck by H, and it was still very red. I have a LOT of accusations against H, and my primary concern for the kids is that I do NOT want him to have them for visitations. Not only does H continue his involvement with (IMO) terrible people, including "buddy guy friend" (who tried to attack me in the spring of 2002), but he has not stopped his use of pornography, and I do not want my boys to be exposed to such horror.
Now... on with the porn. Something that I'm almost certain that I failed to disclose to all of you last spring when I found it and wrote H my "pre plan B letter" outlining my boundaries, is that some of the porn that I found involved children. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />
Yes, that's right. It's embarrassing for me to admit that I believed my H when he told me that what I found had been downloaded along with some "legal" porn. I wanted to believe him so much, and so I chose to do so.
However, when the situation at home grew worse, and I talked to the shelter counsellors about my situation and mentioned (in passing?) that I had found child porn in the past, they suggested that I inform the CAS about it along with my abuse claim. And so I did.
For almost one month, I thought that the CAS was doing something about it. But you know what? Because it had been so many months since I had last seen something, then there was nothing they could do. I was HORRIFIED! So, I called the police and filed a report. Much to my chagrin, the constable who was taking the report over the phone informed me that someone MIGHT pick up on it, but there was no guarantee.
So what did Karen do??? Hah! The resourceful (snoop?) person that I am, came up with a plan. I bought my own laptop (used), and made arrangements to gain access to the "matrimonial home" over xmas, when I would be next door staying at my dad's house with the boys. I was intent on finding something more recent. And sure enough... I did.
It was a scary night, this xmas eve. H showed up after I had only been in the house for about an hour, and called the police trying to get me arrested for break and enter!!! At the same time, I was on the phone with 911 b/c I could see just how angry H was, and I feared for my own safety.
All turned out well, and somehow, some way, H decided to move out of the house, and I borrowed the rent money from my mum's H to cover the month of January, and we moved back in on December 30th.
Once back, I had one hell of a mess to clean up. But being as worked up as I was, it wasn't much of a problem, b/c I wasn't sleeping anyways... and we all know how good it feels to do something PRODUCTIVE with all of that anger energy, right? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />
I found more of H's cd's during my clean up. He had left a LOT of "stuff" in the basement. I looked through the cd's, and over the course of a couple of days, I found more child porn. I of course called the police, and had officers come by the house to pick it up. Actually... 4 of them showed up this past Friday night, with a WARRANT! I have to admit.. that was exciting. I've never seen one before.
That morning, on Friday the 3rd, H had arrived at the police station. He had somehow heard that the police were looking for him, and called the station to find out what for. I'm not sure what happened, but either he was asked to come in to talk to an officer, or he offerred to. Either way, he ended up in an interview with the detective in charge of this investigation... who ARRESTED H within a short time!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />
H spent that night in jail. His bail hearing was the next morning, and it is based on certain conditions. One of which is to have no communication or association with me, another is to not come anywhere on or near our "matrimonial home" (which also means he has to find someone else to get the rest of his things), and of course, he is not allowed to be anywhere there are children... his own excepted! However, there is no visitation set up, and even when that does happen, it WILL be supervised.
My new house will be moved into on January 15th. The movers are booked, the house is packed, and I'm super excited to move.
I'm not talking to H's family right now. I'm too pissed off at them for continuing their enabling ways... and I told them so too. Perhaps one day, we can be civil to each other... but that ain't gonna happen in the next short while! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" />
I'm off to check my email now. For those of you who have written to me, please understand that I may not be able to return your emails for a few weeks, what with all that's going on. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> I'll be getting internet set up at my new home next week... probably the day I move in! LOL.
Karen
p.s. if it isn't already obvious, I'll be filing for a D. But you know what? I'm incredibly okay with that, b/c I know that I did whatever I could do to save my M. And even better? I don't feel much of anything towards my H. I think I'm almost there... I've almost let him go! YIPPEE!!!
