Will one of you bleeding hearts help me understand how me criticizing or name calling the OP in my situation makes me look bad?

In case you can't discern it from my sig line, OM helped lay my dead son in the ground, then laid my vulnerable, grieving wife, wrecked two families in the process, and accused me of hiding money that could have been spent on my sons medical care.

Please, help me on this. I must not have the character to look past his faults.

Dave,

I understand how you feel ...

Not all WS/BS/OP are bad, most of them aren't they just made a mistake .... However there some that are out the norm ... some OP even are predator ... my OM, PBR of Orchid are among them ...

My definition of civil is I ignored him in public (even I would love 2 minutes alone with him one-on-one, w/ or w/o weapon), I stated the fact about him to my 2 D to make sure that they could protect them self. DO I want to be in the same room with him ... nope, let him to my house and eat on my table ? .... God helped me not to poison him ... {b]we are only human.[/b]

No applogy need it ... the one who say they could be civil ... they should read our situation and be honest with themself if they could be civil with OP. Only if they walked our path and the wall could talk

-rh-

<small>[ February 05, 2003, 04:58 PM: Message edited by: TheCalypso ]</small>

Storm,

I accept your apology and hope you will accept mine for dismissing your opinion as "biased." That was out of line and I apologize for having done so.

WAT:

There is nothing wrong whatsoever in criticizing the wicked. It is not a Christian tradition to withhold judgement, but a 21st century concoction that came out of the political correctness movement. If we stood silent in the face of evil, it only emboldens the perpetuators.

Proverbs 17:15 He that justifieth the wicked, and he that condemneth the just, even they both are abomination to the LORD.

Ephesians 5:11 And have no fellowship with the unfruitful works of darkness, but rather reprove them.

Luke 17:3 So watch yourselves. "If your brother sins, rebuke him, and if he repents, forgive him.

It is abhorrent to think that it is just as sinful to criticize sin as the sin itself. That is NOT a Christian standard, but a vain tradition of MAN. Just ask yourself WHO benefits from such a pernicious, abhorrent policy?

Colossians 2:8 Beware lest any man spoil you through philosophy and vain deceit, after the tradition of men, after the rudiments of the world, and not after Christ.

It is a 21st century concoction to confuse Christianity with saying "nice words." It is nothing of the sort.

1 John 3:18 My little children, let us not love in word, neither in tongue; but in deed and in truth.

The devil can say nice words. Ted Bundy was a "nice" guy. If the Christian standard was to be "nice" then Jesus certainly FAILED the Christian standard when he called people "vipers," "pigs," "dogs," "hypocrites."

He said things like this: "You are from beneath; I am from above. You are of this world; I am not of this world." He told folks: "You are from your father the devil."

Obviously Jesus failed political correctness and was not aware that "nice words" equalled Christianity. He never sacrified the truth in order to get along with anyone and even said:

"Do not think that I have come to send peace on earth; I came to bring not peace, but a sword. For I have come to set a man at odds with his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter-in-law against the mother-in-law. And a man's enemies will be those of his own household."

hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

It did NOT make Christ happy when folks tried to pass THEIR silly traditions off as Christianity:

Matthew 15:7-9
You hypocrites! Isaiah was right when he prophesied about you: 'These people honor me with their lips, but their hearts are far from me. They worship me in vain; their teachings are but rules taught by men. "

I am an OW and have never hidden that fact. I read here at MB because I do believe there is some material here worthy of my time. I consider this a learning experience of sorts. I also post. However, as an OW who realizes this is not my board, I am very mindful of what and to whom I post. Do I always agree w/ the blanket statements etc. about OW - NO. However, I post selectively and respect my position here as a member, but also a guest.

Blue,
I agree w/ the poster that stated your post sounds like an OW. If this is so I feel you should have had the guts to just say so. I have NEVER hidden my identity. I find it VERY hard to believe that a formerly BS could be this gracious in dealing w/ OW, esp involving issues w/ the children. JMHO tew

WOW! If bad mouthing the OP is not acceptable around here, I guess I'll keep my thoughts of "boiling in oil" & "tar & feathers" to myself. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

Oh.... I was not going to post anymore on this thread, or any where everyone keeps spouting biblical arguements that should not be arguements at all. Opinions are opinions are opinions. But when did this forum become a court room of God?

If I wanted to make any point about anything under the son I could look close enough and twist any words to suit my purpose from a biblical sense, why do you think there are so many biased opinions in the name of God and what bible you are reading, or what religious sect you happen to be affiliated with? Please don't get me wrong, I am very spiritual and have deep faith, but I do not feel that we need to bicker our points with biblical references. I could be wrong, as I am often, but aren't we here for other reasons than to argue and play biblical point and counter point? If this offends ANYBODY, I apologize now. But it seems that it's becoming all to common for these postings and I don't understand what the benefit is other than making more arguements and justifications. JMHO, and again sorry if anyone is going to take what I have said in a negative manner, it's not intended for that at all.

<small>[ February 05, 2003, 04:57 PM: Message edited by: TheCalypso ]</small>

TEWJTM

BE-CAREFUL !!!

I'm starting to really like you!!!!! Fair warning. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Pepper <img border="0" title="" alt="[Cool]" src="images/icons/cool.gif" />

<small>[ January 15, 2003, 01:25 PM: Message edited by: Pepperband ]</small>

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by Neesha:
<strong>Oh.... I was not going to post anymore on this thread, or any where everyone keeps spouting biblical arguements that should not be arguements at all. Opinions are opinions are opinions. But when did this forum become a court room of God?

If I wanted to make any point about anything under the son I could look close enough and twist any words to suit my purpose from a biblical sense, why do you think there are so many biased opinions in the name of God and what bible you are reading, or what religious sect you happen to be affiliated with? </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Neesha, do you think its preferable to make ones points about Christianity WITHOUT backing them up with scriptures? Wouldn't that be making it up as you go along? As you can see, I did not post *MY* opinion, which is irrelevent, when it comes to Christianity, but God's opinion.

And yes, some do take scriptures out of context to make their point, but that doesn't mean we should ignore it just because a few abuse it. The bible is not unknowable and just because some are ignorant of it doesn't mean that it can't be understood. Christians are EXPECTED to understand it and to USE it when making points about Christianity. THAT is what my faith says, if thats ok with you.

<small>[ March 04, 2004, 11:25 PM: Message edited by: A whole new me ]</small>

Melody,
You took offense at my post because you took something and personalized it, and that is where it was misunderstood... Now my point is this...Look at the original post..... then reread all the posts, do you see the absurdity in it? So much wasted energy and now you feel that you need to get defensive at my post on something that was generalized.... again, proves the point as why threads go in this direction.....I don't see it helping anyone in the name of Christiananity, Buddism, Zenism, Hinduism, or any other religious sect....it is a post about opinion, feelings, and that's how it should have been approached, not a right/wrong...but as I posted my earlier thread, I knew it would illicit a defensive response. Just was giving an opinion. That's how these threads snowball into pages upon pages of everyone climbing on top of everyones else to make something that is neither wrong or right.....to be so!!! Again, sorry if anyone takes offense.

Neesha,
No offense at all. I was responding to your complaint that:

"Oh.... I was not going to post anymore on this thread, or any where everyone keeps spouting biblical arguements that should not be arguements at all. Opinions are opinions are opinions. But when did this forum become a court room of God?

If I wanted to make any point about anything under the son I could look close enough and twist any words to suit my purpose from a biblical sense, why do you think there are so many biased opinions in the name of God and what bible you are reading, or what religious sect you happen to be affiliated with?"

So, it looks like I wasn't the one being defensive at all. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by My favorite color-BLUE:
<strong>

I have also come to understand that most people here don't want to hear the opinion of a strong person who has been able to cope and raise above all the mess that was once her life. It seems like most people here prefer it if one is distraught, whiny, weepy, bitter and full of complaints, sorry but, that's just not me.

MFC-B</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">lolol! Things must be really slow over on GloryB! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />

Here I am waving the white flag for you two okay? Go check out out of the mouth of babes, it's funny. Have a good day ladies. love to you both.
Bridgette

Quote:Christians are EXPECTED to understand it and to USE it when making points about Christianity. THAT is what my faith says, if thats ok with you

Sorry Melody, I guess I misread it as defensive as if I was directing the first post to you, I wasn't...so when you directed yours to me, I responded as I thought your post was, again my aplogies....

Neesha <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

I had it ....

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by My favorite color-BLUE:
<strong>And never once did I say that you all should feel bad or pity the OP in your lives.</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">No you didn't but you told us to accept OP in our live ...

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"><strong>All I asked was "do we really need to bad mouth the OW to feel better about ourselves?"</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">You did more than that you judged us ... just re-read your first post and my anser to your assumptions

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"><strong>I'm so tired of apologizing for asking a simple question and I guess I got the answer, not the one I was hoping for as I still think that it makes us look bad but, the answer is a loud resounding YES!!!! Bad mouthing the OM/OW/OP make us feel better about ourselves.</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I do not bad mouth OM ... if you look at my posts ... I stated facts and the truth about OM, do you want to M to him ?.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"><strong>I have also come to understand that most people here don't want to hear the opinion of a strong person who has been able to cope and raise above all the mess that was once her life.</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Again jugemental .... we like to take strong oppinion but we don't take cooment that put us down ... Your post flaged as OW all over the place. So you are strong ? ... how about this ... During my 2 D chrismast club party, WW bring OM to the rink .... I walk up to him, put my arm around him and wishper "You are out of place and I don't appreciate you comming here, this is a family gathering ..." and walk away. He started named call etc ... the manager of the rink had to kick both of them (WW&OM) out since 1. the rink is open only to family member ... OM is no body. 2. the rink is family place ... OM is infidel and still M at that time. ...... I don't need to laydown to scumbag and go down o their level but I won't back down to put my opinion either.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"><strong>It seems like most people here prefer it if one is distraught, whiny, weepy, bitter and full of complaints, sorry but, that's just not me.</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">How many djugemental points in here ? ... I am here only to help others, I am happy hunting a soulmate right now ... many are happy in recovery. If you are BS you understand that all of the "distraught, whiny, weepy, bitter and full of complaints" are actually a scream of hurt from the bottom of their heart.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"><strong>I'm sorry, No, I'm not sorry that I didn't fit your image of what a BS should behave like. I've already done my time, in the past two years I plan A'd, plan B'd, and cried A LOT, but, thank god I have my children to focus on and they will get me through the rest of my life.</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">There is no "fit" image but we could detect "insincere" posts fom the other. We have few xOW that post we welcome them with open heart b/c we know that they are sincere and hurt too from WS. I even doubt you have children, do you make them to call OW "mom" too ?

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"><strong>I hope that someday soon you all will be able to see that yes, you should love your ws and yes, you should do all you can to rebuild your marriage but, there comes a time when you need to move on for yourself and for your children if you have them. There is nothing better in this world besides the love of god, your children and your spouse other then love for yourself and peace of mind.</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">LEAVE HIS NAME ALONE. Here we go again a flag for OW ... do you hink we are here because we loved our self ? ... do you think plan A/B is for our selfishness ? YOU ARE DEFINITLY NOT BS. If you are, you need help ... really, you have not learn anything yet and no wonder your plan A/B failed ....

Just a quick test ... since you have lurked for 2 years or so your claim to be ...

1. Who is SNL ? BS/WS/OM ?
2. Who is the BS/WS of SNL ? and what is her new screen name ?
3. What is Orchid's previous screen name ?
4. What is Free2beMe's previous screen name ?
5. What is "electric fence personality" means ?

I rest my case and I am going to post to others

-rh-

UGH!!!!!How stupid is all of this!!!!

It was my post that Blue referred to the most, I was venting to my friends, many knew exactly what it was I was saying!!!

Do I fell superior over OW when I say the things that I do? Don't need it to make me feel good about my self. I know who I am and the type of person that I am and have always been.

I come here to vent and say the mean things that I do about the OW so that I don't hold those things in, or say them in front of my children. My children are older and they know who it is to blame for the break up of their family as they knew it. Their father is as quilty for allowing himself to be tempted as the OW is for continuing a relationship with a married man.

I fell good about me and who I am and don't need to bash the OW to feel good. I look at the strong healthy person in the mirror and I feel great!

Dawn <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Do I refrain from badmouthing my husband's OW because I live my life by what "other people" think?

MFCB...do "other people" have that much power in your life? Why are you so worried about what "other people" might think about the BS's words of righteous anger and devastation?

I came very close to divorcing my husband, and in fact was laying the groundwork for a very nasty legal battle regarding the presence of his OW in my kids lives.

No-way, no-how was that lying dysfunctional psuedo intellectual selfish tramp with a clownish boob job going to have ANY contact with my kids without a tremendous battle.

Why on EARTH would I make nice and pretend that everything was ok for the sake of the kids? What does that teach my kids????

She had no problem calling me a sociopath and a *****, and spent every waking breath trying to destroy my life and rip apart my children's lives because she thought my husband was a wealthy man who would take care of her financially. She was there throwing screaming fits at my husband for taking care of me and the kids because she felt that I should take my 8 months pregnant and disabled self out to find a job and support myself.

I don't have to bash her to feel better about myself. All I have to do is look in the mirror and realize that I am comfortable with the choices that I have made in my life.

I'll turn the question back on you....

Why do you need to bash BS to feel better about yourself?