Hi all. I have a question for all - esp women who have children. Yesterday former MM filed Motion for Contempt against the mother of his son. Previously I helped him file a Motion to Legitimate and also for a visitation schedule.

This is not for daughter by XW but by a woman he has an 11-year-old son w/ that he was never married to. I have been in FMM's (former MM) life for almost 3 years. He has not been w/ his son's mother in over 8 years. She is M and has been for about 5 years. She also has 2 kids that are not FMM's.

He was at the birth, signed the BC, and paid CS since birth. He also has maintained contact w/ his son. The child's mother has been very controlling as far as his visits are concerned. If she feels like letting him have son she will etc.

She has not allowed 1 visit since we got the court order. I have been to see his son w/ him at her mother's and her sister's house. Even they think she is being irrstional.

He called yesterday wanting to pick up son to take him to get an outfit as he had improved his grades on latest report card. We were already in town to file the Contempt Motion. She stated NO. The boy's grandmother stated we could come see him out there and we did. Meanwhile the Sheriff's dept served her the papers on her job about 4:30 p.m. By 5:10 she was out there ranting and raving about why is he doing her wrong.

I truly don't get it. Why is she so angry? He is only pursuing his rights because she refuses him access to his son. She created a HUGE scene in front of her kids. She yelled at him that he was letting me tell him what to do.

Not true. He has been wanting to do this, but never could afford an atty. Now that he is w/ me I just helped him prepare and file the papers.

I am not her OW. They haven't been involved in years. He is a good father.

Any ideas appreciated. tew```

You know that some parents are not above using thier children as weapons. There is NOTHING you can do to change this fact.

Of course she's angry...from her POV she's got a "right" to be angry...takes her off the hook.

This man should do whatever it takes to see his DS. Whatever is going on affairwise, not affairwise...he's a dad and he wants to see his child...and the child needs to see him. That's the way parenthood is surposed to go.

Sounds as if she's going to be using your envolvement in helping him file for his rights as a "whipping boy"...it doesn't matter that you didn't have an affair with him....while they were married...you're there, so in her mind...you'll do.

Good Luck!

she is jealous of you and wants to have conrol of him.you threatnen that.she probably uses the kids to manipulate him.with you around he has someone to keep him inline.until you came along he never filed court papers.its a trait she has that will probably never go away.all you can do is love your man.remember the kids will be of age someday and she can no longer use them like she can now.

The son is 11. They were never married. In our state at the age of 14 a child can decide w/ whom s/he wants to live. She was just so ANGRY. And when I asked her why she feels she should be able to dictate their contact on her whim - she had no answer except "I'm his mother". Well, he IS the father. ARGH!!! tew

her repley of "i'm his mother"just goes along with what i was saying.she is threatened by you.as you indicated up until now the father has not really faught her over this issue.she may feel as though you are pushing him and trying to take her place.she was just reminding you that she is the mother and your not.its not your fault and not hers either.its just a bad situation.you could try to let her know you are not trying to take her place but i doutp she'll believe you.