Hi, Coffee: Well, I knew if I stuck around here long enough, I would finally meet someone with very similar circumstances to mine. The only difference here, is that the OW was one of my younger sisters. I know exactly how you feel. Neither my H nor my sister admitted an affair to me, but without going to details, which I have done numerous times here already, trust me when I say that believing they had an affair was the last thing that I had wanted to do.<P>I had suspected my H for a couple of months, but never could figure out who it was. I never really had what you would consider "hard evidence" until it was over. Even though everything pointed to the two of them, I still found it hard to accept. <P>I know how difficult family functions can be, especially when we have had more weddings/parties/reunions this year than I think we have ever had in our entire marriage. I am fortunate in having a very large family, so it's easy to mingle, and avoid her at the same time. I have developed quite the knack for doing that in the last year.<P>Don't think it goes unnoticed when the two of them run into each other, which is hard to avoid at times. My sister still has an "in your face" attitude with me, that I have problems dealing with. It used to really annoy me, which was much too apparent, but I have taken the tactic of just ignoring her, and she usually goes away in a few minutes. Some people seem to thrive on pushing your buttons!<P>My H is very terse with her. She has this hiiieeee BIL way of greeting him, which used to ruin the day for me, but now I choose to ignore her. Many times I would leave early, until I finally decided that if anyone should be leaving, it was her. Not me! When I took that standpoint, things changed. She now is the one who makes a hasty retreat, usually without saying goodbye to anyone.<P>The best part of all of this, is that she has experienced a tremendous weight gain over the past 5 months. No, she's not pregnant, although the family has been questioning this in whispers lately. She blames a medication, but I like to think it is guilt. Wishful thinking, perhaps?<P>In August, we were at a big party, and when sister arrived, with her new boyfriend, my H did a double take, and commented to me that he noticed that sister had not been missing too many meals lately. Now, that made my day.<P>This Saturday we have an open house at another sister's house. It is open for 7 hours, and I can almost guarantee during the couple of hours we are there, she will show up at the same time. She's the quiet type, (yeah, right!) who likes to call ahead for information/directions, etc. and casually asks who will be attending, when they're coming, etc. So, it should prove quite interesting. <P>Would love you to fill me in on more details, as I'm not clear on whether you suspect them of having an affair, or just major inappropriate behaviour. Don't get me wrong. Neither one is acceptable. <P>I found the problem with me, is that I could not believe the blatant flirting, which for the most part was done in front of me, meant anything. Otherwise, why would they be flaunting it? Wrong!!!<P>Take care. It was nice to finally "meet" someone who is in basically the same position as me.<P>As Always,<P>------------------<BR><BR>SUCCESS STORY<P>
