Thursday, March 20th, the first day of spring, is our 10th wedding anniversary.

I wonder...

will she remember?
will she think it was all a waste?
will she think it was all an illusion?
will she feel anything at all?

I wonder...

will I forget?
will I think (still) it was great?
will I think the reality should have been a dream?
will I feel anything at all?

"Mom and I are still married," I told my son today, yes we are

I will not forget.
I still think it was great, but not so great.
I think what was, was real (I am glad)
I don't know what I will feel.

The truth of the matter is my silver sliver was the best thing that happened to me... and the worst.

Why, I still ask, why do the person one loves the most hurts us the most. Why do they?

Ten years gone by...

A son was born
A house was built
we loved, yes we loved
now it's all gone
thank God our son remains

He is the fruit of our love
yes, love there was,
he is silver and gold combined
a fusion so strong, a gift so precious, given from one to the other, to both

Ten years...

As our country prepares for war,
an unjust war,
over an urge as old as mankind.

The casualties? Many
The wounded? Many
The children? Oh, the children. Who will cry for them, if not me?

Who is right, who is wrong?
Whose side will you take?
A decision will be made.

Ten years...

Me? I will be fine
I will survive
flying in the sky,
after tasting the big apple,
back to the place I call home.

Ten years...

The bed will be empty.
the tears dry
I can’t cry
no, I can’t.

CURTAIN COMES DOWN

<small>[ March 19, 2003, 07:26 PM: Message edited by: utterlyconfused ]</small>

UC-

The answer is:

Yes.
No.
No.
Yes.

No.
It will become clearer as time goes on and you are able to see it without the emotional attachment.
ditto.
of course, silly.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Why, I still ask, why do the person one loves the most hurts us the most. Why do they?
</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Because you trusted that they would love the parts of youurself that you don't. You allow them into your most private thoughts and when they change - it's hard to accept that it's not your fault. You thought that this person would love you forever, and when they couldn;t meet that expectation it left you wounded, thinking that it was something inadequate in you.

You are in pain. Your bed will be 1/2 empty, or it may be looked at as being 1/2 full. It is all relative to time. Ten years is such a short time in the span of your life. You will always have LOVE with your W. Love never dies. It just has to be understood in order to be seen.

What you've written is beautiful. Now you need to cry. Until you release this, you will not be able to heal. Force yourself to do it if you have to. It's okay to be human.

kily,

thank you for freeing me to cry. I feel like I have no more tears, I haven't cried in a while. After I read your post I did. I've never done it but I will try to force myself to cry. What I'm writing is a way to let all this out.

I loved your "of course, silly."

Thanks for your support.