For those of you not familiar with my story, here's the brief run-down. My H had an A (lasting several months) with my SISTER!!! She claims it was rape (many times over many months) <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" /> My H and I are in recovery, but the problem I am having is that my mother is willing to forgive my sister (my entire family knows she is lying about her claim), but my mom wont forgive my H!!! The truth came out over 10 months ago, and my siblings have accepted my decision to repair my M... my problem is my MOTHER!!! She is willing to see my sister three times a week, but when she sees my H, she is very cold. I don't think this is fair! IT TAKES TWO TO TANGO!!! (side note: my sister has mental problems, and my mother "can't" upset her!) <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" />

Am I the only person dealing with this crap??? My sister and I have not even spoken since this all hit the fan!!! I feel like I am losing my family because I chose to save my M!!! I really could use some help here!!!

PLEASE HELP ME!!!!

I have no real help to offer, just an observation.

You sister is your mother's blood. Your husband is not.

Your particular situation might be rare, but scads of people have in-law problems that either hurt the marriage, or it results in some distancing. Which is your main family now, your H and kids, or your Mom and siblings? You might not want to make the choice, but you might have to anyway. It's possible to lose both, if you don't choose one.

OK... help me with this one... My mother says that my H betrayed both me and her... WHAT EXACTLY DID MY SISTER DO????

There are plenty of mothers who can't see what their children have done. Plenty.

I remember seeing a news report in chicago years ago. A woman stood in her sons bedroom where he had a floor to ceiling gang symbol painted on the wall. The son had died in a gang related insident. I stood there in shock as the mother cried "my son wansn't in a gang, why would they say something like that. If he were in a gang, I would know."

Hi there,

What a terrible awful situation to be in. I can only imagine your pain. To be betrayed by two close people you love dearly.

One of my closest friends has a good friend who came home and found her husband in bed with her sister. It was such a sick cruel shocking situation.

The sad part they told her to justify themselves in their mutual betrayal was they were in love. Bogus really just lust.. Make matters worse. Her whole family betrayed her too, by condoning her sister behavior/husband. I belive they also lost a child to miscarriage and he was so cruel.

Sad part was he wanted a divorce to marry her sister. Battered down from all sides she consented and her whole family stood by them as her husband/sister as they married. Her own mother was another major culprit and betrayed her very deeply with her sick favortism. Blood is this case was thiner than water in this highly dysfunctional family.

With little resources the family successfully broke her down she had to live in this small town with the entire clan guilting her, shaming her, degrading her because they were family and knew better. Prentending she didn't exist. The message was she was worthless.

Sadly, in her breakdown, she hooked up a man in seperation from his wife/son got into an a heavy affair. His poor wife calling her to plead not to be involved. They are getting married on a whirlwind of hormones she barely knows the man. The vicious revenge circle.

How terribly sad that she had to be lowered to such alow position to comprise her self.

I hope you are able to recieve excellent counceling and regain your dignity/emotional health back. This woman never received the proper nuture, support she deserved to rebuild herself..

Your mother behavior doesn't seem normal by condoning. Denial runs deep but she knows the truth. Sounds like you will have to gain support from an entirely different family of humanity.

You have come to right place and know we will be advised well.

Hi there,

Thought I'd drop in to say hi. Been real busy with school and all. I'll get back to you soon. promise

my hubby's family is yoxic. allthough no-one knows of our marital problems, they have been a source of pain from day one.

we have jointly agreed to separate ourselves from them. we see them maybe 2-3 times a year. we dont allow them to infect us with their crazieness!!

it was a choice we both made. good luck