My H used to call those 900 numbers. He was using our credit card and sometimes, our debit card. At first I thought it was a mistake, or some kind of fraud. When I started investigating it, he confessed. He said he would stop - I found out in '96 or '97. He continued to do it off and on until about 2000. He would only do it when I was away - and especially if he had been drinking.
I was so mad. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" /> And, it was costing us so much money! Anyway, he stopped doing that - now he just looks at free Internet porn sometimes. And at first, even that wasn't free. He would dial up numbers online and we'd end up with $200 in international long distance fees!
Our sex life has been going downhill for years. We've been having problems, but we're working things out now. I think the reason he's been doing this is because he has low self-esteem. He told me recently that he no longer feels attractive (and we women thought only we felt this way!) He gained some weight when he quit smoking and doesn't feel good about himself.
Also, I think his "needs" are different from mine. He likes more erotic and "kinky" stuff that completely turns me off. We've managed to compromise on some of this. I'll watch some videos with him as long as they are reasonably tasteful.
So, I don't have an answer - I'm still seeking myself. Just wanted to reply to let you know there are others going through similar situations.
Blessings,
C.
<small>[ June 13, 2003, 08:19 AM: Message edited by: Chrys ]</small>