Wow---I have waited about 6 weeks to post about my newfound state of recovery and emotional freedom. I wanted to make sure it was for real.....Just a summary:
I was married for 32 years when H started to act stranger than usual. He has a drinking "habit" that has caused many poor decisions, a drunk-driving accident resulting in paraplegia, a DWI,indifference to M and poor use of money. On the other hand he is very responsible, passive, kindly, and hard-working. I always saw the things I loved about him and did not want to admit to his defects of character. AT the point of this strangeness, I discovered OW. I was struggling with great frustration and depression regarding the emptiness of our M and did not know at the time that my struggle with an alcoholic spouse was coming to an end.
Well-----we all know the rest of the story. The pain, not sleeping, not eating, not able to function, crying 60x a day, anti-depressants, hard decisions, tearing apart all that is familiar and worthwhile in your life and the letting go of what cannot be.
When I moved out of my home and M in Nov 2002, I NEVER thought that I would be without pain. Well, I am here to tell everyone that the pain does end, the longings go away, the ability to live alone can be SATISFYING, and life is good. I feel like I am alive again. I can truly laugh with complete abadnonment, I can enjoy the peace and serenity of my life without alcoholics, I can live each day without feeling rejected, resentful, discouraged, insignificant......What a life.
I thank God and all the suffering "saints" on this board for guiding, directing and carry me through the worst years of my life.
HALLEJUAH!!!!!!! I have never felt so free.
TW
