well, this is how it SHOULD be,huh?<BR>i have been stewing in my own juices for awhile...been angry at H and not afraid to show it. We had a big fight last night, and he told me all the reasons he had for believing that i slept with his "friend". I asked him how come he never did anything to stop it? (though NOTHING was going on) no answer.<BR>H had told me once that sex with OW was just "comforting", that it only happened 3 times...but last night, he told me he had to get really drunk to sleep with her (there were 2 phases of the affair, so both might be true. but 3 times? WHATEVER....)<BR>anyway, lately he has been nothing but sweet to me, and though he's at work all the time, he's helping with the kids, and trying to prove where he is more (really, he is still out as much as he ever was).<BR>i guess if he wanted a divorce, he knows child support is cheaper than the way we are living now, and he is really loving the babies.<BR>he told me for the first time in years that i smelled "right" to him, which is significant, as that was the primary reason we...procreated... prior to marriage (it has a biological backing, long story).<BR>so, he's saying all the "right things", and most of me wants to believe him. I hope, hope, hope, he means it, because i am ready to be married again.<BR>I went to his bed at three am with a pile of complaints, and he told me if i didnt love him, i wouldnt' care. i guess he has me there, irrespective of his wholly controling behavior.<BR>i wish he were home more, but he has the chance to make a lot of money at his silicon valley startup, and i really want to believe that he really is working as much as he is (thank god i've been to his office with the babies and all his secretaries know me!)<BR>sorry for the rambling, but OW is just on my mind all the time, and i wonder, wonder, wonder if he is being truthful to me.<BR>he told me lots of ugly things about her, and how it took so long to figure them out (gee, she was dating a prison bound drug dealer when they met. hint?)<BR>well, i just wanted to let everyone know what was up, and that i am really getting rid of a lot of my anger--in true divorce busting fashion, i stopped acting angry for a few days, and boy, did he start acting different!<BR>i thought i would NEVER get over this, but things are looking up (god, i hope he's being honest...please, god...)<P>------------------<BR>for better or for worse, in sickness and in health, for richer or for poorer, till death do us part.<P><BR>

Sounds Good to me.<BR>Amazing the way feelings change when we change ourselves. That was and is my hardest lesson.<BR>Keep it up. I hope things only get better for you. The OW, well if you let go of your anger and he is looking happier to you, and he is proving to you where he is, then just love him! <BR>Not much to say, but Good Luck, sounds like you're on the right road!<BR><P>------------------<BR>Mater<P>

hi lwb, this is so great to read. Keep working on decreasing the lovebusters. It does get a lot easier the more you practice...kind of like breastfeeding? <BR>I am glad you have been able to get out and meet the people at h's new job. <BR>Maybe if you give him the trust, he will be able to prove to you that he will not screw up again. Congrats on your successes.

thanks for the support, cl and mater.<BR>we had a pretty good weekend...no blowups.<BR>i wonder how long it'll be before we regain real intimacy, though?<BR>only time will tell....<P>------------------<BR> <A HREF="http://www.alladvantage.com<BR>ID#" TARGET=_blank>www.alladvantage.com<BR>ID#</A> atp-113<P>

lwb,<P>been thinking about you. so glad to hear that things are looking up.<BR>hang in there. i'm pulling for you guys.<P>Cheryl