Hi Guys,<P>I just want it to be 15 Aug 2000 so I can file for divorce. I have had enough.<P>I'm in Plan B, but called him this morning. The baby is sick, vomited in the car all over the car seat, and I couldnt get the cover off the seat in order to wash it. I could work it all out, bar the buckle in the middle. Thats why I called.<BR>I couldnt believe who answered the ph. - OW"s mother, and I could hear OW's voice in the background. Bear in mind, ;that this was my marital home, my phone, my kitchen - you get my meaning ?? They were all obviously going to have a lovely family day. What about my little family ??<BR>Just to fill you in here - H now shares with OW's sister and her fiance, ostensibly to help with the bills. Yeah right. Does he think I'm a complete idiot.<P>I have just had it with him, his infidelity, his lack of concern for our children and me, (his family) and the way he can keep on hurting me without it bothering him. He obviously just doesnt care.<P>I was feeling so good about Plan B - but now I feel that he has left me for good, chosen his new life with her, and is making a new life with her.<BR>I guess I was still hoping.<P>Jo

Jo, I am so sorry. I do know how you feel been there and still there. I wish I could take your pain away. I know sometime know other peole are in the same pian helps and other times it just seems to make it worse. I wish I could tell you that things will be different. I can tell you that as each day passes it does get easier. THere are days you slide backwards into the pain but the frequency and length decreases each time. You will survive! You have your children to take care of and you have very supportive parents Be thankful for that. I can promise you will feel better it will take time but you will feel better. {{hugs}}

Jo,<P>I know how you feel. This is going to be the toughest time in your life.<P>Did you talk to H? How was he? Was he concerned at all about the baby? Was he mean to you?<P>Stay on Plan B. I KNOW it's hard. Really hard. Your H is still in fantasy land. He is in selfish mode and there is nothing you can do or say to get him out of it.<P>I am so sorry this is happening. I wish I could do something or say somthing to make your pain go away.<P>I'm here for you if you want to talk. E-mail me too.<P>Sending you prayers of strength. God will see you and your children through this.<P>Cheryl

Jo:<P>I just wanted you to know that I'm praying for you and your family. I'm praying for your husband to be given a spirit of repentance. And you know what, I bet you and the kids are on his mind more than you know. Weekends are hard, but don't give up ALL hope yet, give Plan B a little more time.

Jo,<P>What is it about this weekend that we are all feeling so down and used????<P>My deepest sympathies go out to you. I can't even imagine going through this hell with a baby to boot.<P>Please know that even though none of us can change anything that is happening to you and your family, we all DO care about you and what you are enduring. Please remember that when you are feeling so down it all seems hopeless. You are a GOOD person and that comes across VERY CLEARLY here.<P>Thinking the good thoughts for you tonight...<P>Roll Me Away<P>

Jo,<P>{{{{{{{{{{Jo}}}}}}}}}}}<P>I'm so sorry this happened to you. <P>You know you fell off the Plan B wagon...<BR>I told you, you will... <B>It's OK!</B> <P>It doesn't mean give up...<BR>And you know something else... you'll fall off again... God knows it... <B>we are human</B>.<P>The important thing is that you get back on!<P>Remember... Plan B's purpose to to save your love for your H... If you wouldn't have called (I'm not chastising you... I'm caring about you) your H... you would have been oblivious to all you found out... What if H was in a harem... or in a house of prostitution... or having an orgy with 40 women... all of these are possible By not knowing... none of it will hurt you. This may seem childish... it is not! It is being in God's eyes childlike... something He asks all of us to be. Plan B leaves you to grow... yourself... instead of wasting time wallowing in grief, suffering in knowing details (now) that just eat at you...<P>Lend an ear...<BR>Hear from me... <B>you can do it!</B><BR>Don't worry about the fall offs... that's life. I won't think any less of you...<P>Prayers...<P>Jim

Bonnet-<P>I have been following your story, and can understand your pain. NSR is right, hold on, hang on. Don't lose hope.<P>Let him try to replace your family with hers. He can't, and <B>he will know it soon enough</B>.<P>In the meantime, walk the beach, take the kids with you and build your own fantasy, a huge sand castle within a sand kingdom, where you are queen and your daughters princesses. Let there be fairies, and goblins. Let your imagination run wild, and escape to a magical place with your eldest guiding the way.<P>Wishing you all the best,<BR>you're in my prayers,<P>------------------<BR><B> <I> Black Heart </B> </I>

Jo, <P>I am sending you a giant cyber {{{{{{hug}}}}}<P>I am so sorry for what you are going through. Please try to hang in there. Some days are going to be he**, but think about the good times you may have if you just hang tight.<P>I will pray for you and your entire family. <P>Just keep pluggin' along!!!!!!<P>------------------<BR>God Bless you and yours,<P>Sheryl W.<P>www.widesmiles.org/gallery/britanie

Hi guys,<BR>thanks for responding<P>SDS - I can feel it getting a bit easier each day - do they measure time in nanoseconds ? This is taking forever .<P>ceecee - I've emailed you. H did ask after the baby and wasn't mean to me. Was just a bit abrupt, I guess with the rest of OW's family there he couldnt really do anything else. God that hurts.<P>Kimm - thank you. I need all the prayers I can receive right now. Today I think was the 'downest' day I've had. I hope we are on his mind, although I somehow doubt it. I feel he can block us out, because it's too painful. He's actually said that at one stage. Don't quite know how to take that. I have just about given up all hope, I just cant see a happy ending here. I will give Plan B a little more time.<P>Roll Me Away - can I jump on your gernsey!! I'm ready to be rolled away. I just dont care anymore. I want to focus on my children and just forget him. I just cant deal with this hurt anymore. Please keep those good thoughts coming - I really need you guys tonight.<P>NSR- What you said is so true. If I hadnt of called, I never would have known. Theres relief in ingorance isnt there. God, a hug from a man - I cant believe the tears at the thought of you, someone I dont know, wanting to give me a hug to help ease my pain, and my H, the one who promised to love and cherish me, just doesnt care. It hurts so bad.<BR>I have decided to stop focusing on myself, and my situation, and have decided to put the baby in daycare for one day. She will go on the same day as my other daughter leaving me one complete day free. I'm then going to do something I have wanted to do for a long time, and that is charity work at a hospital. Hopefully, by being in a hospital, I'll be able to help others (even if its only making tea and coffee, done that before as a flight attendant!!) It will also make me remember that there are always people that are worse off than oneself. Your words "I wont think any less of you..." I appreciate so much. At times like these we all need positive reinforcement dont we?<BR>I've always got that from you - even if I've been reading one of your posts to someone else. Thanks from the bottom of my heart.<P>Black Heart - I think I want your name. It fits. !! Thanks for the thought that he cant replace our little family with hers, I hadnt thought of it like that. I took the girls to a fun place with rides, amusements etc today and we had a wonderful time. It was the best thing I could have done. It was a rainy day here, they were both grizzly and whingey, the baby was getting over a 24hr stomach upset and I was going insane rapidly. I couldnt really afford it, but I decided my children and myself were owed a little fun and laughter. Bridgit (4yo) went to bed so happy and tired, and Monique (18mths) was looking for bed at 5.30pm. Yahoo. I guess I did take them to a magical place, magical for them anyway, and because of their laughter and enjoyment, I laughed as well.<BR>Thanks for keeping me in your prayers - it is so much appreciated.<P>mitme - that hug felt great. I do try to think about the good times that may be ahead, but today I just couldn't. I really felt the depths of despair, and that it is not going to work out for us. However, I will keep pluggin' along. Tomorrow is another day, and it WILL be better.<BR>Thanks.<P>I will pray for you all tonight, with maybe a 'little' request thrown in for myself.<BR>If I had just one wish, from a genie or fairy, it would be that noone, ever again, the whole world over, would ever know the pain of infidelity. Who cares about money or material things, I've had all that, and look where it's got me. !!<P>Hope you all have a fantastic Sunday, and thanks so much for your support. I will live to see another day, because you are here.<P>Jo<P>

Jo,<P>When you pray tonight.. don't make it a 'little' request... make it a 'BIG' one! <P>Ask and you shall receive... <P>When you said "I have decided to stop focusing on myself..."... <B>wrong</B>... now in Plan B is the time to foucs in on yourself. Exclude H from as much as you can. <B>But</B> you're right about how to do it... helping others... it's a great healer... I know... <P>Prayers for a peaceful night and a pleasant day tomorrow. <P>Jim