<BR>My love of my life has a cold hearted side to him. I am the type of person that will help anyone in need if I can, but he says that he wont help certain people because they can help themselves if they really tried. Also, I have had a few friends of mine lose their mom, family members, and instead of giving me support he says to me "Why are you crying, will it solve anything" Then he goes to say that those who cry are hypocrites, I replied to him "So I am a hypocrite?" he said that he didnt say it to me , but in general. I told him that I cry so the statement is directed to me also, he kept saying it was a general statement. Anytime that I tell him that I am sad, he tells me to smile and it will solve all problems. I told him that I understand that you are trying to make me feel better but sometimes people need to cry. He says that if everyone smiles then their problems will seem small, but he doesnt understand that sadness and crying is a way of dealing with certain things. He doesnt give me emotional support and I try to explain to him that all I want is for him to listen and empathize but no he wont do that because he says that crying is for hypocrites. I never asked him to cry with me but he just wont listen to what I am trying to tell him. He has this "perfect attitude" and he criticizes people saying they are wrong etc. I explain to him that everyone is different and different people react different ways, but also there are words that you dont say in certain situations. I explained that instead of criticizing me when I am sad or crying but instead to give me some support. I told him that by having that "I am perfect and I can criticize" attitude he will be alone. I dont understand how he can be so cold, its like a slap in the face. I told him how he makes me feel when he does these things, but instead of saying sorry he argues that he is right. After arguing with me , he says sorry, but he is only saying it to end the arguement, and nothing gets solved. I tell him that I would never criticize him if he was sad, I would give him support and listen to him and soothe him. He says to me that he has a right to his own opinion, I say yes you do but when you love someone, sometimes you have to forget about your "opinion" and help comfort your loved one. He seems to only care about if he is right, instead of giving support. I am at my wits end, and I dont know what to do. He is 32 and I am 27. I would like some advice please on how to help our realtionship. Thanks for listening. <p>[This message has been edited by Ocean (edited December 21, 1999).]
