I finally got my username to change!! Not too much of an eventful weekend. I didn't get the rental house I was hoping for...so I'm back to searching. Ex-h still hasn't called me back and I've been down about that. I did get the baby's christmas shopping done so even if we are living in a shelter she will have some presents to open. Current H was a big jerk this weekend. Although I'm afraid to be alone with him tomorrow night since all of his kids are going to be gone. I really don't want to end up in a shelter right before the holiday's! Plus they are pretty full right now and I can't see having my baby live on the streets. I'll keep my hopes up that something good is going to happen real soon! <P>My older username is Bikermom...it represents more my current situation than my faith that I will remarry Big Dog!<p>[This message has been edited by BigDog'sWife (edited November 22, 1999).]

Hi Biker... uhhhh.. BigDog'sWife...<P>I thought I'd be the first to reply...<P>I'm sorry the rental house didn't work out... I hope your holidays aren't spoiled by this.<P>Prayers coming your way. <P>Jim

BDW--<P>I mean no offense, but don't you need to resolve the issue of your current marriage before you start dreaming about remarriage to your ex-H?

Lucks...yes I know and believe I'm really trying. But I just need to have faith that God is really going to help me through this. By changing my name I'm taking a leap of faith. Old name reminds me too much of my current life and I want to have....no right now I NEED to have hope. Changing my name is what I emotionally need right now. I'm actively trying to get out. I call the shelters everyday hoping for an opening for me and my baby. I don't want her living on the streets. I just got word that my sister (lives 1 1/2 hours away) may open up communication with me again. If that is so it is possible we can go live with her and I'll just pray that God will supply the gas money for me to get back-n-forth to work. I have a fairly good job with great benefits. Just need a little help putting an affordable roof over our head that isn't in a 'drive by shooting' end of town. I would like to be safe too!

Your ex-H has a live-in gf, right?<P>I'm a bit confused as to how you hope to get back with him? Has this been discussed?

I'm confused too! However I believe in God and the power of prayer. Several things need to take place, the first is getting away and divorcing husband #2. Yes ex has live-in. He's not happy and wants her out. He hasn't said he wants be back, but I believe in my heart we belong together. We were married for 13 years. Finding this website has given me great insight. I'm the one that betrayed my ex mistake #1 and then I married OM big huge mistake #2. I have hope, faith, and God on my side. Right now things are pretty rotten in my life...however with the help of God they are going to change!