As some of you know my husband works on the road a lot and has left for an extended bussiness trip. I was able to get away for the weekend to go and see him. I must say it was nice to spend time with him and just be a wife, not a wife/mommy. I know he appreciated it too.<BR>He is still in the throngs of withdrawal so I was probably expecting too much out of it. I wanted a husband that was loving and who reached out to hold my hand before I placed it there for him to take. I wanted to be cuddled and complimented without fishing for it. I wanted to see that he was ready to start moving on and place the OW and his feelings for her if not out of his mind, at least to the very back. I know that this was a lot to expext, but I have felt so unattractive and unloved for ages now(probably for a few months before the affair even began) that I was just hoping some of that would come back. He told me that most of the guys that he was working with were ging him a hard time about my being there, telling him stuff like "she's pretty cute", "she wouldn't be safe if she were alone around me too long" and I have to admit it made me feel good to hear that some people still find me attractive. <BR>I guess the biggest thing is I really need to hear it from him and I know he isn't ready but it's hard to be patient.<P>------------------<BR>I am holding my heart out to you and ask only that you receive it and give me yours in return.<BR>Nicole

Nicole,<P>I reread <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi6070_sa.html" TARGET=_blank>"Surviving An Affair"</A> this weekend... realizing how far I still have to go...<P>In your case... with your husband still in withdrawal... it is a very hard time... You aren't going to get missing affection often or soon... but realize... you've got him back... as you continue... to give... give... give... to satisfy his needs... <B>in time</B>... he will start satisfying your needs to (especially for affection.)<P>Hang in there... <P>You are loved by your husband...<BR>Don't ask for his heart in return...<BR>... and when you get it... freely... it will mean all the more!<BR>Give it time... don't give up! Have a <P>Jim

Nicole, I simpathize with you! I too was screaming for my h to reach to me. we are almost 3 months in recovery and just in the last week or two has he started reaching for me. I was getting ready to say I couldn't take it. I couldn't reach for him anymore! <BR>My insides were screaming. I simply didn't have the energy to come to him anymore.<BR>And I told him that, we had a bad fight a while ago, not worth telling what about, but again he couldn't see my point and tried to put it back on me. I completely ignored him all night and the next morning! He called and I wouldn't talk to him about it. I finally sent him an email saying exactly this....<BR> I do not have the energy to defend my position on this. You have no idea what you're doing to me and I can't make you see it. I simply cannot shoulder anymore!<BR> Now - I am not really telling you to do this, but it worked for me ..I got the most sincere apology I have ever heard in my life. He has been great since then, about the ow, we have normal relationship stresses, but that is to be expected. If you do go this route, be prepared for whatever reaction. THat was the difference in me, I was tired and fully ready for whatever response was returned. Thank God he woke up and really chose me. Just being here, with his mind on her, was not enough!<BR>Hang in there -- it's rough! BUt if you make it through it's great!<BR><P>------------------<BR>Mater<P>

Nicole,<BR>Hang in there!!! Please!!! You are so much better off than I am. Your husband is really trying. Please be patient and give him some time. I know it is easier said than done, but you are already one step ahead of the game. He truly loves you or he wouldn't even try. <P>Try to keep a positive attitude. Think positive thoughts. Tell yourself you are lucky to have the opportunity to make your marriage work. Please stay positive!!! You can get through this, tough as it is, you can do it.<P>Keep pluggin' along!!!!<P><P>------------------<BR>God Bless you and yours,<P>Sheryl W.<BR>

Thanks so much for your encouraging words. I know what I have to do but as I have said before it is so hard. I have adopted a new moto as of this morning called "patient love" and I will try and make this my goal each morning as I start my day. Thanks again.<BR><P>------------------<BR>I am holding my heart out to you and ask only that you receive it and give me yours in return.<BR>Nicole