This post can be found under General Questions II where it originally belonged.<P>------------------<BR>Healing in NC<p>[This message has been edited by HealingnNC (edited January 15, 2001).]

Hey Healing:<P>I believe I am one state below you! I know the pain and devastation that an affair brings. I can't imagine actually being "a fly on the wall." No wonder you are having such a rough time!<P>You might try posting on "Just Found Out" or "General QuestionsII." You will probably get more responses.<P>Though I have no advice, I'll be thinking of you.

It is such a horrible feeling to hear bad things said about you by the one you love, especially when it is to the one person who is happy to agree with your spouse in order to fulfill thier own desires. It doesn't matter if what was said is true or not. What matters is that YOU were hurt by the things that were said. The first thing to do is break those tapes. Tear them up with the help of your spouse and get them right out to the trash. Have you gotten an apology yet for the horrible things said during this affair? You deserve an apology. If something needs said about you from your spouse, it should be said right to you, in the privacy and protection of your home and in a manner that isn't ridiculing, or baggering towards you. Everyone has faults, and our faults are what makes us individuals. <BR>Next, Forgive your spouse. And start the long road towards working out the reasons the affair happened, and how to prevent it in the future. It is so important to communicate with your other half and to reopen your heart and feelings to them. I do not know what has happened in your relationship in the past, and I know nothing about what type of person you are, your spouse is, or the other person is. But I do know that if you still have love between the two of you, it is possible to get past it all. I wrote this for you:<P>In the Heat of The Night<P>In the heat of the night<BR>we yell, we fight<BR>I had to see your actions<BR>What a heartbreaking sight<P>In the heat of the night<BR>My chest felt so tight<BR>To hear the words you were saying<BR>In the heat of the night<P>In the heat of the night<BR>Nothing feels right<BR>I can't stop my crying<BR>I've tried with all my might<P>In the heat of the night<BR>Tell me it'll be alright<BR>Hold me, console me<BR>In the heat of the night<P>In the heat of the night<BR>Lets make everything right<BR>Renew our dark feelings<BR>with ones that are bright<P>In the heat of the night<BR>Bring into new light<BR>Our love, once fulfilling<BR>Such a beuatiful sight<P>In the heat of the night<BR>Forgiveness reigns high<BR>Unbounding our wings<BR>And returning to flight <P>In the heat of the night<BR>all's well, all's right<BR>we lay there dreaming<BR>Holding each other tight<P><BR>I'm hear to talk, if you need a shoulder.<BR>My email is jbamsj@email.com, take care.<P>B

Loved the poem it hit home. You are to be commended on the use of your talent. We are trying to work this out but it is hard. Thank you for your support and I know I'll probably turn to you for sure. I have received a full apology for the words said, but now I am tyring to make myself believe that the apology is sincere and truthful not just a way to make things better or a lie like so many others told.<P>------------------<BR>Healing in NC