Last evening H bought dinner for me. We talked for about 3 hours. Today I had an e=mail from him telling me he was very confused, and would keep appointment with the counselor next Fri, the 21st, but wouldn't promise anything. <P>Tonight I called him about some mail and had said goodnight, and he got quiet and said he wished he could answer. He basically said he feels nothing when he looks at me and although he feels better with me, he goes away feeling like an ... for using me again.<BR>He also said he still loves OW. I told him I <BR>understood, and would say goodnight, and he could call when he wished. He appreciated it and we said goodnight. <P>I know many say it becomes very difficult right before the recovery really gets underway. I feel extremely shaky emotionally right now, and feel I'll just keep sorting things out and getting ready to move. At one point he asked me what I would do if this didn't work, and I told him I would likely move. He got quiet, then.<P>?????????????????????????????????????????????<P>Committed<BR>