My husband has had an ongoing A for the last 8mths.This is a chat/email/internet/cell<BR>phone relationship. He has met this person also. It has been hard for him to just turn <BR>away since his job now is not as demanding and he has ALOT of free time on his hands.<BR>I work full time but have cut down tremendously on my hrs at work. I asked him to leave until he could decide. He stays with a friend but is "living single" and seems to be enjoying- having his cake. <BR>I want to make our lives/marriage better, but he seems to just want to keep things just the way they are. Any Ideas??<BR>Firefly<BR><p>[This message has been edited by firefly (edited December 08, 2000).]

Firefly,<P>I havent ever seen you post here before..if youre new..Welcome! I'm sorry that you had to join us under these circumstances..If your not new, im sorry ive never caught any of your posts...but some advice...an affair (betreyal) of any kind is tough to deal with....keep your chin up...dont sit around trying to figure out why..You will drive yourself nuts..since he is not living at home right now...I suggest going with Plan A...have you read Dr. H's principals? Have you read his article "Surviving an affair"? Also, try going to the infidelity BB, there are a lot of helpful folks that post there with a lot of useful advice...I'm not much on advice-My H had an affair and he and OW made another baby...Today, the child is 6 months old, and as of today, I have been separated 6 months...He left me and my 2 small children to live with OW and OC to "play house", as I cannot relate to your situation...same, but different..Like I said, betreyal of any kind is hard to deal with and I am not making light of your situation...but I will trade you.....I will have to deal with this OW and OC for the next 18 years courtesy of my H...That thrills me to no end...even if the OW and H dont stay together...OC is still a 1/2 sibling to my children...UGH!!! <P>Heavely father,<P>Thank you for all of the many blessings you have given us, too many to count...even as in this time of trouble, those blessing may at times seem blurred they are there. Please help this woman to cope with the tragedy that has happened in her life...give her the strength and courage to carry on...Help ease her troubled heart and give her peace...Lord, we just ask that your will be done and that you guide her and lead her in the direction she needs to go...Give her the wisdom to know what you are telling her...I ask you Lord, help this woman to save her marriage, because Lord, you are a God who hates divorce...Ease the ache and pain she is feeling and turn it into peace and acceptance...Lord, I pray for her, her H and her marriage...Help these people to understand all of the many emotions and feelings that are going through their heads and bodies...Help this man and woman to come together again and heal...begin a new...<P>In your name I pray,<BR>Amen<P>I hope this helps!!! Again, I urge you to go to the Infidelity BB...Take care and God bless you in this troubled time!!<P><BR>Aloneandsad<p>[This message has been edited by aloneandsad (edited December 09, 2000).]

I can relate to your circumstance. My wife had an affair earlier this summer. I don't know to what extent it went physically she says that they never did anything.But I have been lie to so many times I do not know what to beleive. She still sees this person from time to time. And today was our sons b-day party and she invited him. It was terrible. She is in the same place your H is in. She wants the best of both worlds and is realatively uncommitted to our marriage. I will pray for you. I would also like to ask for you to pray for me as well.<P>Father God,<P>We know that it is not your will for any marriage to end in divorce. None of us is perfect. We ask you to forgive us for our parts in our own marriages destruction. And we pray asking and beleiving that you are the God of reconciliation.And we know that you bring trials in our lives to bring us closer to you. Which is the ultimate goal in life. To glorify you. And we ask that you will bring conviction in our spouses lifes to bring them back to you. And then to restore our families. We thank you for the work you are doing in our lifes, and trust that all things work together for good to them that love you. We ask this in Jesus name amen.

I thank you so much for responding. As I am new to this site I am also amazed at how much of this "stuff" is going on. Since my husband had left two weeks ago, I checked the mail today, only to find the CC bill with charges on it meant for OW.( I'm sure you can use your imagination) I went back a few months only to find more. I'm sick about all this tonight. I thank you for your prayers and I'll continue to hope & pray and do the right things. I have two children 13 & 16 to worry about now, and they bring me much strength along with my family and some close friends. I have prayed for you also, and I'm glad I have people like you that can identify with this pain.<BR>Where can I find the "infidelity BB?"<BR>Thanks,<BR>Firefly<P> <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by aloneandsad:<BR><B>Firefly,<P>I havent ever seen you post here before..if youre new..Welcome! I'm sorry that you had to join us under these circumstances..If your not new, im sorry ive never caught any of your posts...but some advice...an affair (betreyal) of any kind is tough to deal with....keep your chin up...dont sit around trying to figure out why..You will drive yourself nuts..since he is not living at home right now...I suggest going with Plan A...have you read Dr. H's principals? Have you read his article "Surviving an affair"? Also, try going to the infidelity BB, there are a lot of helpful folks that post there with a lot of useful advice...I'm not much on advice-My H had an affair and he and OW made another baby...Today, the child is 6 months old, and as of today, I have been separated 6 months...He left me and my 2 small children to live with OW and OC to "play house", as I cannot relate to your situation...same, but different..Like I said, betreyal of any kind is hard to deal with and I am not making light of your situation...but I will trade you.....I will have to deal with this OW and OC for the next 18 years courtesy of my H...That thrills me to no end...even if the OW and H dont stay together...OC is still a 1/2 sibling to my children...UGH!!! <P>Heavely father,<P>Thank you for all of the many blessings you have given us, too many to count...even as in this time of trouble, those blessing may at times seem blurred they are there. Please help this woman to cope with the tragedy that has happened in her life...give her the strength and courage to carry on...Help ease her troubled heart and give her peace...Lord, we just ask that your will be done and that you guide her and lead her in the direction she needs to go...Give her the wisdom to know what you are telling her...I ask you Lord, help this woman to save her marriage, because Lord, you are a God who hates divorce...Ease the ache and pain she is feeling and turn it into peace and acceptance...Lord, I pray for her, her H and her marriage...Help these people to understand all of the many emotions and feelings that are going through their heads and bodies...Help this man and woman to come together again and heal...begin a new...<P>In your name I pray,<BR>Amen<P>I hope this helps!!! Again, I urge you to go to the Infidelity BB...Take care and God bless you in this troubled time!!<P><BR>Aloneandsad<P>[This message has been edited by aloneandsad (edited December 09, 2000).]</B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>

Hello,<BR>It was nice to hear from you. I have just prayed for you too. I thank you so much for your prayer. I know now what it feels like to be continually lied to. I prayed that:<BR>your wife's heart would not be hardened to this world she's living in and that she could turn away from it and come home to you and your children. I prayed that God will give you peace restful sleep.<BR>I hope for you just like I hope for me. <BR>It was comforting to read those words, that <BR>God has a plan for our ultimate good. It's <BR>refreshing to hear these words as my husband is not a Christian and my major hope right now is that he can go to Him and rely on Him and he can believe in God and experience Him and His love.Thanks I'll keep you in my thoughts & prayers.<BR>Firefly<P> <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by wantmyfamtogether:<BR><B>I can relate to your circumstance. My wife had an affair earlier this summer. I don't know to what extent it went physically she says that they never did anything.But I have been lie to so many times I do not know what to beleive. She still sees this person from time to time. And today was our sons b-day party and she invited him. It was terrible. She is in the same place your H is in. She wants the best of both worlds and is realatively uncommitted to our marriage. I will pray for you. I would also like to ask for you to pray for me as well.<P>Father God,<P>We know that it is not your will for any marriage to end in divorce. None of us is perfect. We ask you to forgive us for our parts in our own marriages destruction. And we pray asking and beleiving that you are the God of reconciliation.And we know that you bring trials in our lives to bring us closer to you. Which is the ultimate goal in life. To glorify you. And we ask that you will bring conviction in our spouses lifes to bring them back to you. And then to restore our families. We thank you for the work you are doing in our lifes, and trust that all things work together for good to them that love you. We ask this in Jesus name amen.</B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>

You are in my prayers

Hi!!!<BR>I read your post on H's affair and I want you to know that I am with you. I am not much of an expert but one thing I know is the Lord is good and He takes care of His own.<BR>We will think of you in our prayers!!<BR>Take care and remain under the hand of the Lord:<BR>Lord please take care of our sister. You know exactly what is going on and you are the one and only who knows the solution to this problem. Please provide a way for her to make it and lead and guide her in all things. Give her peace and serinity in her life and continue to remind her that you care.<BR>Thank you father for you goodness and mercy.<BR>Amen!!!<BR>God Bless my sister

Dear lend4,<BR>Thank You thank you thank you for you're prayers and concern. I will trust in God<BR>to show me what to do. He is so good isn't <BR>He!<BR>Firefly<P> <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by lend4:<BR><B>Hi!!!<BR>I read your post on H's affair and I want you to know that I am with you. I am not much of an expert but one thing I know is the Lord is good and He takes care of His own.<BR>We will think of you in our prayers!!<BR>Take care and remain under the hand of the Lord:<BR>Lord please take care of our sister. You know exactly what is going on and you are the one and only who knows the solution to this problem. Please provide a way for her to make it and lead and guide her in all things. Give her peace and serinity in her life and continue to remind her that you care.<BR>Thank you father for you goodness and mercy.<BR>Amen!!!<BR>God Bless my sister</B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>

Thanks Tigger!<P> <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by tigger:<BR><B>You are in my prayers</B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>