We are worried about you.Please let us know what happened at atty.I continue my prayers for you.<P> Your sister in Christ,beth

Beth,<P>I am here. I am sorry I haven't been writing. I believe in God's promises. The last several days have been tearing at my soul. I have lost it a few times even in front of my husband. At first he was a little hard hearted. It was going to cost us too much a month to keep our home. The house will sell this next Tuesday. Praise God he waited till Wed to tell me. My women's Bible study group was great comfort. I prayed for God to soften his heart. He agreed to pick the girls up from day care. They didn't go to church. He stayed home with them. This lifted their spirits. I had thought when I got home, he would leave pretty soon like he has been doing recently, but he stayed and helped the girls with their homework. He even got them ready for bed while I went to my Mom's to take a shower. He was very helpful. He spent the night and slept with the girls. He hasn't been runnign from my crying. He said he understands. He has even let me get some bitterness out. Of course i am mad at myself for showing him any. I said a few things I shouldn't to him. Nothing bad, just needy.I have repented. I had a bad morning. I really let Satan get to me. There is just so much. I know God is there, I am glad he can take me being a baby. My husband has shown compassion. He started out telling me , we would have to get over it. God must have worked on him because he came by work today and offer to go get papers I needed from my son for SS. He has never ofered to do anything like this before. He went to a landscaping business and got me a bunch of pots to put my flowers in. I am digging most of them up this weekend. He also checked on <BR>storage buildings for us. This is a big change frome last year. Praise God for this because it has really helped. He still talks like he is not coming home, but he does say "we"<BR>a lot to the girls. He is trying to be as fair as possible. <BR>I believe god waited to his heart began to change some before we lost the house. This way I don't feel all alone.<P>Satan has really used this to put things in my head. So many memories are coming back as I decide what must be packed, moved, and so on. My prayer now is for God to send us a place to live. Oh yes, H is helping look for a place also. He has even mention some regret about letting the house go like this. I believe if he had it to do over he would have let me and the girls keep the house. He said he would help anyway possible. Pray we can do all this in peace. Moving things out is going to be a test for us getting along. He has let me get by with a few things already but I know I have got to let God have this and shut up. I can't lie, I am afraid, but I do believe God is in charge. <P>God is moving, I would not be here if I didn't believe that. It is a hard road to travel. Satan will not get me.<P>Please pray for my 18 year old son. He got into a world of trouble right after his 18 th birthday. I know I didn't training him in the Lords ways. I have ask God to help me with him and I believe he is.My son has been in jail since Jan (drug related). He pleaed guilty to felony charges without us knowing. He just wanted to get it over with. Anyway he earned is GED last week. He scored well on all parts. He goes for sentencing before the Grand jury Mon. Pray God's will be done. We are hoping for rehab and probation. He is just a child lead a stray. <P>Yes, that is son facing 5 years Mon and house sold in court Tues. You think maybe me faith is being tested. I am like OK Satan bring the divorce papers on, I may stumble but I will not stay down long my Lord will lift me up.<P>Keep the faith everyone. I know it is hard.<P>gentle

Dear Gentle,<P> I have been so worried about you,tears fill my eyes as I read your post,I am lost for words.<BR> I pray that with Gods grace ,this will turn out for the good, and you will be blessed in the future.I did not train my children up well either.I will pray for son.<BR> God give Gentle the strength and courage to go on.Give her peace,help her not to show anger and bitterness to her husband.Please be with her son on Monday.In Jesus name we ask this,Amen .

Gentle,<BR>Please know that you and your family are in my prayers and I feel a miracle is surely coming your way. Stay strong, you are an inspiration.

Beth and Motherof,<P>Thank you so much for your prayers and sweet words. I really need them . Today is going to be a hard day but, I know the Lord will be with me. I have been reading the various trials in my restore workbook. This has helped lift my spirit. <P>I just hope no one comes by while I am moving my flowers today. I feel like a theif trying to take my own flowers.<BR>I feel violated. This is the worst part. As I have said before, if losing our home brings my huband closer to God then it will be worth the lost. Yes it still hurts and is hard. <P>God is in charge. He says we will suffer afflictions.<BR>This is what our trials do for us.<P>So the power of Christ will dwell in us. (2cor 12:9-10)<P>So we will learn to be content. (Phil 4:9)<P>So we will receive a reward. (2 Tim 4:7-8)<P>So we lack nothing. (James 1:2-4)<P>To enable us to comfort others. (2Cor 1:3-4)<P>To perfect what He started in us. (Phil 1:6-13)<P>To have our loved one back. (Philemon 1:15-16)<P>To receive mercy. (Heb. 4:15)<P>To learn obedience. (Heb. 5:7-8)<P>To produce endurance. (James 1:2-4)<P>To receive the crown of life. (James 1:12)<P>To prove our faith. (1Peter 1:6-7)<P>To follow in His steps. (1Pet. 2:21)<P>To share in His sufferings. (1Pet. 3:13)<P>To be perfect, confirmed, strengthened and established. (1Pet. 5:10)<P><BR>This came from my Restore workbook.They helped me.<P>gentle<BR>

The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not be in want.<BR>He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters, he restores my soul.<BR>He guides me in paths of righteousness for his name's sake.<BR>Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.<P>You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows.<BR>Surely goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.<P>PSALM 23<P>He is a gracious and wounderful God, praise Him in the morning and praise Him in the evening, praise Him in your trials and praise him in your blessings.<P>The closer I draw to Him, the more I see how lost and off track my wife really is, but more importantly I see how lost and off track I was. Before the affair was exposed, I would pray that if there was something going on with this man that God would give me the evidence to confront her. I thought that when I found out that she would change, and try to restore our relationship. Well, I found out last Aug and that seems to be the last thing on her agenda right behind giving her life to Christ. I told God I would do anyhting and go through anything to restore my marriage to what he wanted it to be. Well, I am affraid things will get worse before they get better, but he has to do what he has to do. I thank Him that I have Him to turn to and give my pain and anger to, that He does not turn his back on me and leave me. His path in narrow and sometimes we get off track, communicate with him before you take each step to make sure you do not step off of the path.<P>If you wake up tomorrow and the sun does not appear<BR>He will be there.<P>Hugs and Kisses to all of you.<P>Mike<P>

Gentle,<P>I pray for you and your family, that the Lord will provide. Also, that the Lord brings you "all" peace and comfort during this move you must make. No matter how steadfast we are in our faith-there are plenty of trials, and we have little setbacks, Don't get down on yourself gentle. You are a woman of strength and courage!!!!<P>Yes, I will keep the faith, I know you will too.<P>This time will pass.............................<P>Love to you,<BR>Petrie

Dear Terri,<P> Wrote you a email ,but i computer wont let me send it.Stay strong ,keep standing, I am praying for you.<P> Love and Prayers,beth

Gentle, the steadfast faith you have shown in light of your situation touches my heart. I will pray for you and all your children, especially your son. That hits home for me, as I can see same situation on the horizon with my 20 year old son. Please God, provide a home for Gentle and her children. Also, Lord, please touch her husband's heart to continue showing her his support. Please be with Gentle's son in his day of court and touch his heart as well. Please keep us updated.

You have really been in my prayers today. I really believe this trial is going to produce so much fruit that you are actually going to be glad about it.<P>You have given the enemy so much trouble by helping all of us that he is just trying to get to you. Naturally, your obedience to God is just going to make it worse for him. You haven't given him an inch - if you have let your husband feel a little bitterness maybe he needed a little dose of reality. You are without hot water - he needs to take care of his family. <P>Remember that the Holy Spirit is with you so don't be paranoid about making mistakes - a few slips here and there might not be so terrible as long as you keep asking for God to purify your heart. Jesus built His Church on the apostle who denied Him 3 times... He knows we are human. You are not even close to being in the enemy's grasp - I really wouldn't even give him the time of day. he is zilch to you.<P>I pray that you sail through your trials in the Lord's arms. Ask the Lord to hold you tight and to continue to reveal His will to you.<P>If your son is to go to prison - he will probably end up being a shining example to the others. Don't be anxious - your son has seen the new you. The old you is pretty much gone except for the sweetness which has always been there.<P>Remember that to the Lord, this is all like a video replay of a football game - He knows what is going to happen and can foresee everything. Would you bet on the side of someone who hadn't seen the game or the one who has the <BR>video? Trust, trust, trust and don't worry.<P>You are doing so great - I am so glad to see that you can see the hand of God right with you. Life is a big adventure but nothing is by chance and you will never be abandoned.<P>God is working through you - you are with Him and He wants you as His instrument. Give Him ALL your anxieties - He loves your trust and commitment. He is pouring out His grace on many people because of you so take care and don't be so hard on yourself. We don't expect you to be perfect - we just love your heart.<P>Sleep well tonight knowing that our prayers and love are lifting you right up to His arms. Smile and be brave for your girls - you are marching toward your happiness.<BR> <BR>Lord, please lift dear Gentle up in Your Almighty arms. She needs you today and tomorrow in a very special way. She is Your sweet light, Your special friend but this trial is so big and so heavy that she needs You to take it from her for a few days. Please give her the inner peace to transmit to her children and to her husband the love she has in her heart. Let her forgiveness of her husband come naturally and easily so that he wonders how she does it. Let her triumph in You during this trial. Praise and glory to You, Most Holy Trinity. All honor is Yours, now and forever.<P>

Thanks for all your prayers and kind words. The support I have found here gets me through the long days.<P><BR>I open my mouth again yesterday while my husband was moving some things. I knew I should shut up but I didn't It was over him taking something that doesn't really matter. It just hurts...all this dividing and leaving. I didn't say anything bad by the worlds standards but I said far more than God wanted me to. I felt so bad because I let the old me out again. I was so upset when he left. I called to talk to my daughters. They were at his Mom's. She could tell something was wrong and she was a great comfort to me. Praise God for this. If you knew what things were like this time last year, you would see this as a miracle. She has been telling him to get a divorce or come home so the girls will have something stable. She doesn't understand that the girls and I will feel the same way divorce or no divorce. We want him home. I could not tell her this ,but I have been praying she would stop telling him to do one or the other. I know she just doesn't understand. I didn't sleep well last night. I had to get over being so mad at myself for saying anything to my husband. I know I am not perfect but I hate that arguing side that can still come out when I am hurt. He offered to take the girls again tonight so I could work on my flowers. I told him I was sorry about bringing somethings up yesterday.<P>Praise God my son got probation! He is still in jail because<BR>he has to go to drug rehab first. I know he needs this. I have prayed for this but he can't get in till June 19. Please pray an opening comes up earlier. He really needs to talk to people that understand addictions.He has already been in jail 4 months with no real help. All 5 year are probated. I pray he will be able to stay clean and do what he is told.I believe God will be there all along the way. <P>Still no place to live but, my sister is calling around for me tommorrow. God will send us a place. <P>Pray for me to have strength tomorrow when our house is sold. I am not going to court. Pray that whomever buys it will give us 30 days to move. That is when the girls will be out of school and we need that much time.<P>I know God is working, I know He will help me overcome.<BR>I will not lie, this is hard. Satan will not win.God is<BR>the POWER.<P>Beth, <P>AOL account problems today. That may be why you couldn't send email. I am doing better today. Thats for listening to me last night. I hate when I let Satan get to me through my husband. He cuts to the bone. But I am learning Satan's tricks and lies through this. Praise our awesome Father in Heaven for teaching us through our trials.<P>Thanks again everyone you are lifesavers.(without the holes of course)<P>gentle<p>[This message has been edited by gentle (edited May 01, 2001).]