Please pray for my H and me, as well as our 4 children. I do not post often anymore, but a short version of my story is that H began an affair almost two years ago with a woman he met on a safari. We have been up and down over the past two years, with many broken promises and false recoveries. Our marriage even before the affair was in trouble but we did not want to admit it; we had grown apart and did not even know what each others' needs were, much less were we interested in meeting them. We separated in May 2000 and even contemplated divorce. H and OW went on a three week trip last summer and another overseas trip for ten days over New Years.<P>Both of us have changed alot in the past two years and I know that I personally have grown tremendously both in self-awareness and faith. In Feb. 2001 we went on a Retrouvaille weekend, in preparation for which H agreed to terminate his relationship with OW. Retrouvaille was life-changing for us both and I truly felt hope for the first time since Aug. 1999. Much has happened and I cannot write it all but I truly believed that we were in recovery. We signed a marital recovery agreement and at least tried to POJA most issues.<P>On Friday, H announced that he was flying to NYC to meet OW, both for "closure" and to get back some of his things, including alot of expensive climbing equipment, which she had. He flew up on Saturday and said he would return the same day. I heard nothing from him until this afternoon, when he called to say that b/c of holiday blackouts he could not return until tomorrow (he says he was using frequent flyer miles). When I asked what he was doing and where he was staying he said he had shopped for the children and then our connection mysteriously got lost. He does not answer his cell phone and I have no idea where he is. This is so like the way he acted, lying, disappearing and justifying, during the affair. I wonder if it has all been a charade, all his words of love and remorse, and if really he was just waiting for our year's separation to kick in. <P>All of my old feelings from when he was deep in the affair have come back - nothing he says rings true. I am tired <BR>and wondering if this is just a sign that I should give up. I have truly been seeking God's will in this but I know that I do not want to go back over all this again. Is it time to throw in the towel? If God hates divorce, what am I to do? How long can we continue like this? Don't I deserve someone who respects me and loves me?<P>Please pray that I will find answers and peace. I do not know what to do. Please pray for my H as well, as he is struggling. He is not a bad man but I know he is conflicted and battling.<P>Sorry for the rambling.<P>Thanks<BR>patti<P>[This message has been edited by gatorgirl (edited June 04, 2001).]<P>[This message has been edited by gatorgirl (edited June 04, 2001).]<P>[This message has been edited by gatorgirl (edited June 04, 2001).]<p>[This message has been edited by gatorgirl (edited June 04, 2001).]

Patti,<P>I don't know what to say to you or have any advice at this time. I will pray for you, your husband and the children.<P>Have strength and trust in God. All that you seek will come but in His time.<P>Sending you some extra strength, *HUGS* and prayers.<P>K

Patti,<P>All the recovery you two have been through was real. Satan <BR>is trying to steal your husband back. Remember Satan is the real enemy. Pray for God to work on your husbands heart. Please don't give up. Don't let Satan steal your family from you. This is happening for a reason. God has a plan,He always does. Don't give up or in. Trust God to take care of this. God has to be the one to bring you two back together. <BR>When we do it, it doesn't last. God's way will last. Pray<BR>and BELIEVE that God wants your marriage restored. God wants your children to have their mother and father both at home. Trust in the Lord. He will restore your marriage His way in His time if you are faithful and wait on the Lord.<P>If you haven't been to this site, please go. Read the testimonies there. Your story is very much like many others there. I pray you will seek God's word and will for your marriage.<P>I know your pain. This site gave me hope when everyone else said it was hopeless.<BR> <A HREF="http://www.restorem.org" TARGET=_blank>www.restorem.org</A> <P>gentle

Patti, <BR>I can't imagine how devastated you feel right now. If your husband is not answering the phone and you feel he is evading you, it's because he can't face himself.<P>I pray for you to have the strength not to give up. I am really sad for you but you can't give up.<P>Jesus, please send Patti a sign that all is not over. Let her know that her desire for reconciliation is Your will. Please bind Your enemy and don't allow him to blind her husband anymore. Remove this woman from their lives forever. I ask this in Your Most Holy Name, Jesus Christ.

Thank you all for your prayers. I feel so alone but it really helped to know that you were praying for me.<P>K - thank you for the hugs. I needed them.<P>Gentle - I do believe that Satan is the real enemy but I am so tired of fighting. I know i need to trust in the Lord but it is so hard . . .<P>Trying - thank you for your words and prayer. I too will try to hope. <P>I have heard from my husband but I can tell from our conversations that something has changed. It can only be that he was with her - otherwise he would have done all he could to get home to us. He never asked how we were and just seemed out of it. His flight gets in late tonight so i probably will not see or talk with him until tomorrow.<P>Please continue to pray . . . that I will find the right words to say, that I find the strength to stand for our marriage and that he realizes what he is doing. The one year thing seems to be too coincidental so I know I must be prepared. <P>Thanks-<P>patti

Hang in there girl. You can't fix the situation only God can. I Pray that God will deliver you from your anquish and will restore your relationship with your husband. I Pray that your husband will repent and turn to God. Be comforted that God is working in your situation. Remain faithful to God's will and He will see you through this. In Christ love, Jeff

Jesus, please force Patti's husband to face up to what he is doing. Temptation may have overcome him but You still want him home where he belongs. Lord, Patti needs You more than ever. Send Your Most Holy Spirit to her, to enlighten her and to give her strength. Let her husband's guardian angel speak loudly to him, call him back and please don't let his pride interfere with a full recovery.<P>Lord, even Your apostles abandoned You yet You never gave up on them. Please don't give up on Patti's husband and grant him the grace he needs to love his wife more than ever. I ask this in Jesus' Holy Name. Amen.

Thank you for the prayers. God is working. I just spoke with my husband and he told me what happened over the weekend and why he stayed. I believe he is being truthful although he now recognizes that there was alot he could have done to make me feel more secure.<P>At any rate, he says the relationship is over and he told me what he told her and why he said it cannot continue. Too much to go into but some rare insight into what he is thinking.<P>Your prayers meant so much to me. I have told no one else what was happening b/c I knew they would say give up. You all did not and I think that was God talking to me. I felt peace and comfort knowing there were people I don't even know, in far-flung places, interceding on my behalf.<P>Now I must work on me and being patient. God's grace is great.<P>Love<BR>patti

Oh what good news! I am so happy for you and I know how you feel - the power of prayer is so awesome that we forget what it can do. God is so great!