I am in a bad way right now.

H came to see me on Thursday. He was being very loving, attentive.

He left me a message afterward saying that he misses 'us' etc.

I didn't hear from him so I called him on his cell just now. He was very rude. I was calling to say hi and ask if he would come by to do some work , and about some mail that came for him.

I asked him if he had been to the house to feed the dog. He said yes that he was just leaving there. I asked him if he is staying in the city (with ow, but I didn't say that).

He told me to stop tracking him, to shove the phone up****, and hung up.

I can't take this anymore. I think he is playing me.

If it is a mistake to pursue this, if it is not in the will of God, I need to know.

I need to know if God would have us divorce and if He has someone else for me.

I need to hear from God in a clear way.

This is not just about adultery. It is about desertion, physical abuse, cruelty.

I am praying for him, but I am starting to think that I have put myself through all these years of hell for nothing- that I didn't need to stay married to him, and that now that he has gone I am not bound to him.

I need to know if there are times when God allows divorce and remarriage.

I have been trying to pursue his perfect will in this, but I can't handle much more.

I am shaking inside. Why was he so nice a few days ago and then so mean just now?

Shul,

I don't have a lot of time right now but I had to respond to some of the things you posted. I will get back wiht you later tonight.

First, You are asking questions that no one on this earth can answer. God is the one you have to ask. The subject of remarriage and divorce can be long and at time a very heated debate. We are not to argue scriture. But this is what happen with this subject is brought up.

I had a lot of the same questions. My marriage is a secand marriage. I left my first husband. I was in adultry. Years later my second marriage was failing and my husband left me. I turned to GOd and accepted Christ. A lot of people had a lot of opinions ,some even based on scripture, why God wanted my current marriage restored. I just got confused. Confusion comes from Satan. I had to get my answer from God. After fasting and praying , I got my answer. God wanted my current marriage restored and now it is restored.


God honored David's marriage even after adultry. David had to pay the price of his sin, but God did allow David to marry, can't remember how to spell her name and no time to look it up. You know the story.

God never goes against Hi word, so He will never tell someone to divorce. He loves divorced people and He even honors second marriage, but not always. When we realize with have messed our lives up , we have to ask God what He would have us do. Then we have to WAIT for His answer. THe blood of Jesus can cover anything.

Next I want to know if you belong to a restoration ministry? If you are not then please go to this one. Many of your questions can be answered here www.restorem.org

Why does he act one way and then another? SATAN that is why. He comes to kill , steal and destory your marriage. Be thankful for the time you do see changes in your husband. Praise God. Don't call your husband up with a bunch of questions and a to do list. This is what he is running from. You do not have authourity over your husband. Chirst does, that is the way God set up His order up. Email and I will give you the scripture to back this. tpatter4@aol.com

Please praise God for the work he is doing in your husband.

I will have to edit later. Please understand , I have no interest in this except for your good.

gentle

<small>[ October 05, 2004, 09:58 AM: Message edited by: gentle ]</small>

Gentle,

Thankyou.

I think that I should leave him alone.

It has come to the point where I know that we are safer without him, and until he gets right with God it is best if I stay away from him.

And you are right about him running. The closer I come the farther he runs.

He has made his choices. I will abide by them.

Shul,

Don't give up. Just let God work on you and believe He is working in your husband. God changes hearts. Ask God what He wants you to do
in regard to your marriage.Then wait for His answer. The hardest part is waiting. Wait on the Lord to answer, wait on the Lord to work on the other side of your mountain. There is no hurry.

You said you are getting along well without him. So, there is no hurry.When your husband calls and is nice to you. Be thankful and look at it as God showing you that He is working on your husband.There is no hurry to divorce or to reconcile. Believe God is working. Wait on that answer from God as to what He wants you to do about your marriage. Be sure your answer is from God. Don't base things on what your husband is or isn't doing. We are not to go by what we see. Go with what God is telling you. You don't always get God's answer right away. So again I say wait on the Lord.


Dear Father,

Thank you for the work you are doing in Shul. Lord I ask that you help her to discern what you want her to do in regard to her marriage. Give her an answer that she knows is from you. Help her to back the answer with Your word. Set on on the path You would have her take then help her stay on that path.

In Jesus name , Amen

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by gentle:
<strong>
Don't give up. Just let God work on you and believe He is working in your [spouse]. God changes hearts. Ask God what He wants you to do
in regard to your marriage.Then wait for His answer. The hardest part is waiting. Wait on the Lord to answer, wait on the Lord to work on the other side of your mountain. There is no hurry.
</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Gentle,
Thanks for that message. I cam in here this morning looking for something... your message was it.

My W keeps on bringing up how I betrayed her, which invariably leads to her getting angry with me. This is especially true because it also appears that she always needs more. Whatever I do, is not enough, and (probably) will never be enough. This morning, for example, I packed her lunch for her (despite working longer hours, I also do the majority of the cooking while my W just watches TV - sometimes an LB depending on what sort of day I've had), ironed her clothes for the day, helped her get dressed (with the baby on the way, she can't easily buckle her own shoes), and she was still upset because we were late leaving the house. (The fact that I didn't do some of the things I would have chosen to do this morning like grab some breakfast for myself is, of course, irrelevant, as is the fact that she didn't get out of the shower until about 5 minutes later than usual despite me getting out of the bathroom 5 minutes earlier than normal.)

In all honesty, I am finding it hard to continue this way. There are times when suicide feels like the best way out. (Don't worry, I'm not actually contemplating that, but it does occasionally pop up in my mind as a "solution" before a gentler voice inside reminds me that if God didn't still have something for me to do He would already have called me home.)

Thank you for reminding me that my W has her own choice to make. I cannot force her to accept that God wants us together (even if I were certain of that myself), or to trust in Him and know that He wants us to be happy. I cannot change anything except myself.

God Bless,
Richard

Lord,
Today, and all days, I ask you to guide me in the path you have designed for me. Help me to see it clearly, and to recognize your hand in all you have created. Help me to look with compassion on anyone who appears to find your call difficult to hear, or finds your way difficult to follow. Help them to find compassion for me when I also stray from that narrow way which leads to you. I pray especially that you guide all who most need your help. I know that I am not worthy to ask these things, but I pray that you will honor these requests in the name of your Son, Jesus Christ.
Amen

If anyone is there, please pray for us. My husband is here right now visiting. I am a bit nervous.

It is ok so far, but pray that I can help him feel loved, that I will be a blessing to him.

Thank you,

Shul