Lord. please let my h. be committed enough to me to break off all contact with OW. <p>[This message has been edited by alias (edited October 12, 2000).]

POGP, I'm praying with you right now, and will keep you in my prayers all day. Love to you, AW

Thank you dear friend <P>I'll light my candle and do my prayers for everyone else, then try to have some fun at a museum or the zoo with my boys.<P>I am so grateful for the support we get here!<P>lizzie\Pearl of Great Price<P>------------------<P>"I have found the Pearl of Great Price"<BR><p>[This message has been edited by POGP (edited January 07, 2000).]

Liz,<P>I just finished reading your post on the Infidelity forum but I wanted to post to you on the bible study forum. I have been trying to stay away from the infidelity forum due to alot of conflicts I have. You know me, I need to "color in the lines".<P>Your husband sounds like he and I mean He is in a real spiritual battle. This truly isn't something you can do for him. He needs to give it all up and hand it over to God. This is his responsibility and something that God wants him to do alone. That may be why you are feeling so weary. You are alot stronger spiritually then your husband right now but you still can't fight his battle. You cannot make decisions of responsibility for him.<P>Your position of strength is on your knees in prayer and that is what you have been doing. Focus all of your energy on the Lord and keep your trust alone in him.<P>There is a devotional I read this morning which I think may be helpful for you. The site is <A HREF="http://www.ficm.org" TARGET=_blank>http://www.ficm.org</A> It is written by Neil Anderson.<P>Lord, give Liz's husband new spiritual discernment to see the raging battle that he is in. Recall to his mind the truths of your word and his need to lay himself completely on the altar of Your grace. Father deliver him from any desire he has for things other then your perfect will for him and Liz. I claim the precious blood of Jesus to cover their marriage and ask for total restoration. IJN

thank you taj.<P>he has been having dreams that have 'spiritual' messages, so I am encouraged. God is trying to 'instruct him while he sleeps' Psalm 16:7.<P>thank you for your prayer, it really blessed me.<P>hugs,<BR>liz<P>------------------<BR><BR>"I have found the Pearl of Great Price"<BR>

i am praying for you too.

Thank you, neen, taj, AW. <P>I am having some disturbing nightmares in which I get even with OW by telling everybody. When I woke up the morning I was really upset to see how angry I was in the dream, since I guess that is how I feel deep inside. <P>I am going to read His Wife again and spend time praying for healing in me. I don't want to actually become the person I was in my nightmare. <P>thanks again,<BR>liz<P>------------------<P>"I have found the Pearl of Great Price"<BR><p>[This message has been edited by POGP (edited January 07, 2000).]

Please pray tonight for our counseling session at 7 PM Eastern. I have not asked my husband if he has called to ask her for no contact...it is possible that he changed his mind and decided to wait till she calls or emails again, I don't know.<P>Lord, please heal my hurt feelings. Please be present in our counseling session tonight. Please help my husband to break away from the hold OW has on him and please restore his joy in our marriage.<P>Amen<P>thanks,<BR>liz<P>------------------<P>"I have found the Pearl of Great Price"<BR><p>[This message has been edited by POGP (edited January 07, 2000).]

Liz, I'll be praying hard for you tonight. Since I'm an hour behind you (Central Time) this will give me something important to think about and pray about during my long commute home from work! I usually say prayers while I'm driving, since have about a 1 1/2 hour commute. Hang in there, you guys are doing great.

Liz,<P>Glad you let us know about tonight. Praying as I read your post and will be praying at 7pm. Your counselor seems to be really sensitive to you guys. Is she/he a christian? God is there in your midst because He won't ignore all of our pleas on your behalf. I believe we are praying according to His will and you know what that means!!!!!!!!!!!<P>Love Taj/Cathy

AW/Taj,<P>Thank you for your prayers last night. It was a really healthy, productive time.<P>In our session, my husband said that it bothers him that I post about our life and our sessions. I told him if he wanted me to stop, I would. He said "I don't necessarily want you to leave the Bible study. I am just uncomfortable with you giving out details."<BR> <BR>So I have posted a goodbye to the Infidelity forum and edited my posts here, and will be much less specific in my posts here, in deference to his wishes.<P>Yes, our counselor is a Christian, although she probably wouldn't classify herself as 'evangelical'. She uses Gary Smalley materials and other Christian counseling resources. She sees us after a day of doing clerical work, because our HMO laid her off a couple months ago. It is a shame, because she is really good at counseling.<P>Thank you again for your prayer support. I have grown to love you as sisters, even though we are faceless here!<P>I bought The Power of a Praying Parent this week and just started reading it. God has really given Stormie a gift as a result of her difficult life!<P>blessings,<BR>liz\POGP<P>------------------<P>"I have found the Pearl of Great Price"<BR><p>[This message has been edited by POGP (edited January 07, 2000).]

Liz,<P>I am so glad it went well last night. Your H sounds like he is focusing on reality and not fantasy. <P>Do you need for that phone converstion to take place with the OW? Is that a nail in the coffin so to speak? Would just no further contact be enough? I know at one time I needed the finality of a letter written to OW but changed my mind after a while.<P>As far as the Infidelity forum goes that must of been done with mixed emotions. I know my H is curious about what I post but doesn't really like the computer because he uses it so much at work. I guess I would have to give it up too if it ever became an issue. He did give me a cartoon from LOCKHORNS which was the wife saying to the husband, "EVERYBODY IN MY CHAT ROOM AGREES WITH ME ABOUT YOU"! <P>Glad you are staying on the POPW forum. We need your prayers and insight.<P>God Bless, Taj/CAthy

Cathy, <P>I don't feel like I need the phone call as much as I'd like him to have the opportunity to terminate things, to make it concrete in his mind. <P>Something I didn't realize before reading Torn Asunder by Dave Carder is that affairs are often tumultuous, off and on, over and over. That describes my h.'s situation, as they both 'broke it off' several times. <BR>Carder says that if that becomes the norm, both parties keep it in the back of their mind that they will get back together one more time.<P>I think before too long she will email him or find a reason to call, and that is when he will have to prove to himself that he can break the ties permanently. The pictures in his wallet have been a good visual tool for him and as he said, "The choice is a no-brainer". <P>I have been praying for "His Mind" and "His Temptations" and particularly praying against her influence and specifically against "Jezebel spirits". She has admitted to me that she enjoys the 'control'. <P>I hadn't thought much about the spiritual side of being a seductress till I saw it described in a rather radical pamplet in a Christian bookstore. <P>I think it makes sense that if a woman makes a "deal with the devil" to give her influence over men sexually, she will be used to disrupt marriages. I think spiritual warfare comes into play here. <P>Don't get me wrong, I am not someone who sees demons lurking in every bad situation, but in this case, it made lots of sense to me. <P>I certainly have seen more progress in improving our marriage since I stopped fretting and nagging and started praying loosing and binding prayers!<P>gotta go, i've got a migraine and the computer screen is making it worse.<P>thanks again,<BR>liz\pearl<P>------------------<BR><BR>"I have found the Pearl of Great Price"<BR>

Liz,<P>Wouldn't a letter be better? Isn't that what MB suggests? That way you see it, H has no contact during it and OW will have a piece of paper (kinda like a divorse) that says "Its done"!<P>Thats what I'm hoping that someday will happen with my H and I.... after all in my case with the OC situation it will almost have to be like a divorse...<P>Im thankful that your councelling went well, blessings to you! cozy/Sue

cozy,<BR> <BR>he doesn't plan on doing anything unless she contacts him. i think he can handle a phone call, he will have our family picture to look at while he talks to her. this makes it very concrete for him.<P>i won't be posting any more details about our sessions, in keeping with my promise to him.<P>liz<P>------------------<P>"I have found the Pearl of Great Price"<BR><p>[This message has been edited by POGP (edited January 07, 2000).]

Hi.<P>I really need your prayers today and this weekend. <P>We had a counseling session last night. As you know, two weeks ago he told me he had been in contact with OW since leaving his old job. Our counselor has him carrying a family picture in his wallet, as well as one of the two of us, to remind him what is at stake. He has promised to ask her for no further contact if she calls or emails, and said that he would not contact her.<P>He has 'technically' kept his word, but told us that he called her extension once this past week after he knew she would have left the office, just to hear the recording of her voice. <P>We discussed the pain the separation is causing him. He tried to change the direction of the session several times, saying "Liz doesn't need to be hearing this, it can't be good for her" and "Let's not talk about OW any more, it is pointless." <P>I sat with a sweet, patient smile pasted on my face, but I wanted to scream and run out. I DO NOT understand. I DO NOT want to be loving and sweet. Both the counselor and I tried to show him that he is hurting himself by keeping up the 'contact'.<P>We all agreed that he would benefit from meeting with the counselor alone next Tuesday. I am thinking of suggesting that we alternate weeks, one joint session, one him alone for several months. <P>This morning, I called and left a message asking the counselor to call me back because I am so distracted by the 'setback'.<P>Then again, I wonder if it isn't progress in disguise...at least he was honest about what he was feeling. Maybe I need to just be glad that we are making progress as 'friends', but frankly, I don't need another "buddy".<P>The saddest thing of all was that he said, "After what I've been through, I don't want to fall in love with anyone again for a very long time. Trust is just too hard for me."<P>HARD FOR HIM?????Hello! <P>Thanks for listening. <BR>lizzie <P>------------------<P>"I have found the Pearl of Great Price"<BR><p>[This message has been edited by POGP (edited January 14, 2000).]

Liz,<P>Whew! How does one respond to your post after knowing all you have been through already. <P>I just breathed a quick prayer and here goes.<P>You are getting lots of details. Truly, the devil is in the details. Honesty brings forth clarity. Too much honesty at one time is very difficult to handle. Dr. Harley of course believes in total honesty.<P>As difficult as living through your counseling sessions is becoming it will clear the air once and for all. It will also give your H the chance to really be free from the pain, guilt, and sorrow that his choices have brought about.<P>My H has only gone to 4 sessions with a counselor. He has NEVER spoken of his own personal tragedy in all of this. I know he is carrying baggage that continues to complicate our relationship. As hard as it would be to hear all of the truth I would endure it if he would be healthy on the other side.<P>Lord, give Liz the strength to endure these counseling revelations. Give her "thick skin" that the information would be unable to penetrate her resolve to see her marrriage whole again. Free her husband from the hold that his emotions have on him. Feelings are fleeting but fact is steady and true. Let him see Liz as the rock that she is and seek to anchor himself to her alone. Let him see Liz's strength coming from you and desire that for himself.<BR>IJN

Thanks Cathy, you are a good friend and your prayer touches me and speaks healing to a hurting heart.<P>liz

Liz, I am so sorry you have to go through this. I wish I had the right words to say to make you feel better because you have done so much for us. Just know that you are in my prayers. I was reading today how hardship builds character. We can receive from the conflict a spiritual discipline that will greatly strengthen our faith and establish our spiritual character. Keep the faith, Liz. And sometimes we have to look at the little things. He did not talk to her - if that's any consolation at all. Take heart and keep praying. Blessings, J

Please continue to pray for me through the weekend. <P>I've been crying alot this afternoon, even as I left a message for my h. at work. We talked a bit when he called back, but he just doesn't comprehend how much he is still hurting me by holding on to memories of her. <P>Our counselor called me back and said she wished she could predict how long he will go on clinging to OW, that she knows I can't keep on waiting forever. She asked me to be patient and honest. The honest part isn't nearly as hard as the patience. I feel like my being patient and loving gives him license to keep holding on to the memory of OW.<P>I'm really depressed and I know he hates it when I am moody, but this is honest pain, not manipulation.<P>thanks, Liz<P>------------------<BR><BR>"I have found the Pearl of Great Price"<BR>