Sure has been quiet around here. I don't know if that's good or bad! <P>Just thought I'd give an update. Things have been ok at my house, not particularly better but not particularly worse. H is slowly drinking more, but I am dealing with it better with God's help. H didn't go to counseling session. Said he had to work late and cancelled his appt. I don't know how long they are going to put up with him not showing up and cancelling his appts., since these sessions are court ordered for him. H has been somewhat distant this week, I'm not sure what's up with him. I've been praying a lot for the Lord to work on his heart. <P>I've had a hard time working on myself this week. Seems I've been under attack all week. First the bad dreams, then constant thoughts of "why am I doing this?, H doesn't care about me, when am I going to have my needs met?". I've been praying our spiritual warfare prayer every AM, but still get attacked. I've been trying to keep conversations with my H centered around his work, what we're doing on the house, etc. instead of our relationship. He doesn't want to discuss it. I have a great need to talk about our marriage because I feel like nothing's getting resolved. <sigh><P>I've been praying for you all, hope you are each ok. God bless you,<P>MTAW

Rootbeer,<P>Glad somebody is out there......Yah,it has been too quiet around here. Sorry you have had a tough week. Can't believe your h is sloughing his counseling appointments. No, they won't put up with that very long. Funny your h isn't afraid they'll throw him in jail! <P>I wish this board was busier during the day. I'm not on much after 6pm and it seems like alot of people post after 9pm. I find myself going to the Infidelity Board and it isn't the place for me these days.<P>This has been a long week for me too. I have had this cold and I guess being down has given me too much time to think. I have found myself obsessing again about the whereabouts of the OW. I get on this kick where I want to know where she is.....haven't seen her in over 2 years. Now for most that would be comforting but for me it is scary because of past history. I don't trust her and not knowing where she is feeds into this.<P>Please forgive me for posting my problems instead of God's promises......like I said its been a long week.<P>Taj

MTAW, <BR>I know what you are saying, it seems we are all on a vacation, hopefully one step closer to God, and step closer to restoring our marriages. <P>I'm sorry to hear your H canceled the counseling session. But as you know keep praying for h's salvation and for the Lord to work on his heart! <P>Dear Lord, please help MTAW through this weekend, don't let her feel alone. Be with her and continue strengthening her Faith! I pray that her H finds his way back to You Lord. Remind MTAW that this is the enemy doing his job, and not to despair. <BR>"Where he has erred, reveal it to him and convict his heart about it. Lead him through the paths of repentance and deliverance". IJN. <BR>You are always in my prayers. Pookie<BR>Amen

I had a long week too... My boss's wife had a baby wed am, so I have been working long days... Got some praise reports but I have to go to work, so you gotta wait till tonight! Hehehee... Sorry<P>------------------<BR>Jesus is the only answer!<BR>His blessings, Cozy

Taj, I'm sorry you've not been feeling well! Must be that cold weather up there. You're right, H should be worried about missing his appts., but apparently he's not. I guess there's too much paperwork or a backlog of criminals to arrest, so maybe they don't have time to follow up on him. We need to go back to see our pastor, but the last time I mentioned it to H, he was being reluctant to say he would go. I need to pray more in this area. <P>I've had some obsessive thoughts about David's OW too this week. Mine are centered around what they did together, and all the lies and lies he told me during the affair. I don't think that they have been in contact, because I'm certain her H would call me if he thought they were. I guess we have to remember that the Lord is working all of this out for our good. We're human, though and sometimes you just gotta vent!!! You're in my prayers always Taj. <P>Pookie - Thank you so much for your prayer, I've been praying for you too today. It's really a struggle, isn't it. It seems like I have a bad day or so after every fast and pray Wed. The enemy goes into overtime attacking me. I do have one little praise report though. This AM before I left for work, I had a strong thought "you better check the oil in your car". I was in a hurry, and tried to dismiss it, thinking I could do it later. Then I thought, "no, I need to do it now". So I checked the oil, and it was 2 quarts low!!! That little voice was God, watching out for me!!<P>Cozy - I'll be on tonight! Can't wait to hear your reports. Hope you have a great day.<P>Love ya<BR>MTAW

Well, we all are alive and well on planet earth!!! Guess we've all been lurking the past day or so! <P>Thanks for checking back in Rootbeer, you gave me permission to be a plain old ordinary human.....sometimes its hard to admit when you want to rise above it all so bad!<P>Cozy, glad you've got some praises! I wish I could join you guys for your Tues Cyber tea and prayer but it takes away time from my h who is working an awful lot again.<P>Pookie, are you a daytime poster mostly like me?<P>This thread is nice, just a little chat!<P>Blessings, Taj

Hi MTAW,<P>I've been lurking alot now, but not sure what to post. I almost feel like I don't belong since I'm no longer actually trying to get my marriage back together. I'm still praying and reading but my prayers have changed. I now pray for myself to have strength to get thru each day and wisdom to do the right things. I also pray for my kids to be comforted and strengthened. <P>I still pray for Bob but not for him to return. I pray for God to save him according to His will and in His time. I don't wish him harm, I pray for him to be happy and healthy and to want to be a more active parent to his kids. If we are meant to get back together, then it will happen. If not, I need to be prepared to live my life. <P>I'm at peace with my decisions. God gave Bob free will. He can nudge him in the right direction but that doesn't mean Bob will choose that path. <P>Take care,<BR>Mitzi

Hi. I have been checking the posts but haven't had much to say. <P>Since my sister's death I have really felt fearful and anxious about my future. <P>More on a separate post, so I don't bring down this post of updates.My h. has a new cell phone and I have already started worrying about how he will use it.<P>I need so much more from him than he is ready to offer. He may never be the Christian husband I thought I was marrying.<P>I keep wondering if now its my turn to feel stuck in a bad marriage, like he says he did.<P>Sorry this is a downer. I stopped my anti-deps a few weeks ago.<P>lizzie\his tired pearl<p>[This message has been edited by POGP (edited March 17, 2000).]

Mitzi, dear Mitzi, of course! you belong here!!! We're here to support and encourage each other, no matter what. What you're doing is exactly what you should be doing, living for Him, turning Bob over to Him, and praying for your family. I hope you will feel comfortable still studying and posting with us. I've missed you here!<P>Lizzie, I'm so sorry you've been feeling fearful. I've had a lot of those feelings lately too, especially the one called "anger". I'm fixing to leave work, so I'll be reading your other post as soon as I get home. I hope you can relax and have a nice evening tonight. <P>Love to you all,<P>MTAW

Sounds like we all has a testy week with the enemy prowling about.......<BR>H came to counseling today, would not commit to anymore. Looks like we will be separating in one week- he began looking today before counseling.(He's been calling and searching the papers for a few nights now anyway.......)<BR>This must be for the best- God is allowing it to happen.<BR>Thank you all for your support and prayers. <BR>I am okay.<BR>God's Grace sustains me! His Mercy is giving me peace!<BR>Praise the Lord!<BR>Love and prayers,<BR>Joynicole<BR>

P.S.<BR>Cozy,<BR>We sure are ready to hear some praises!!!

Guess it is unanimnous then girls, for I also have had a challenging week and the dreaded weekend will begin when H walks in the door. Sigh. <P>Friends on all sides of me fear for my safety, can't figure out if I am in denial or if I am just afraid to let go of the dream of a godly marriage. In some ways, maybe I need to leave so that God can do what I can't do. Please pray for wisdom for me.

JoyNicole - I'm glad you said you are okay, because I was about to start to cry, it just tears me up thinking that your H wants to separate. I'm praying for you JN, God will work it out for the good for you. {{{{{JoyNicole}}}}}} Big hug for you. Isn't our God wonderful? In the midst of turmoil, He is right there, giving us comfort. When my H and I separated, I had this amazing calmness. I didn't miss him, I went to church and did things with my friends, did things with my son and daughter, rode my horse, played with my dogs, etc. My H, on the otherhand, was miserable, started getting an ulcer, said he couldn't eat and couldn't sleep. Guess God was troubling his heart and not letting him have any peace until he came to his senses. Keep praising the Lord, JN. He has good things in store for you...... <P>SueB - I prayed a long time for you this AM, I was thinking a lot about you yesterday. I understand so well the verbal attacks you've been enduring. <BR>When you said<BR> <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>can't figure out if I am in denial or if I am just afraid to let go of the dream of a godly marriage<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> <BR>it made me take notice. Maybe I'm in denial also, and everyone who has been telling me to get rid of H is right. It is my heart's desire to have a godly husband who can be the spiritual head of our household; God's word says he will give us the desires of our heart, so I've made up my mind again (just now) to stick with it, keep praying, and wait on the Lord.<P>God bless,<BR>MTAW

Well ladies, I have a hard time posting this evening. Been kicked off again two times.<BR>Well, as I started to say earlier, I was doing fine in spite of the ow being here this week. H's birthday was hard but we saw him for a few minutes in his office. Then tonight I over heard my daughter say her dad was going to PA until Sunday morning. I almost died. It is 5 years since they met on Sunday. So I guess she wisked him away for a romantic weekend. It kills me. Two weeks ago he said, "some times when she calls I just don't care what she is saying." Then he also said, "for 5 years this is what I thought I wanted and sometimes I just don't care."<BR>I know what Joy said above is true, that God is allowing it to happen but it still hurts. Last Friday, I prayed if she ends up coming, Lord there must be a reason, use it for your good. So, I must trust Him that He is. Si don't mind me. I have really been doing pretty good until now.<BR>Well, girls does that make it unanimous? Considering satan is defeated he still reeks havic. I know for myself I give him an in. My getting down is doubting that God is still in control. I know he is in my heart, but sometimes it still hurts. I know I can trust Him for the outcome and sometimes in the middle of the storm things just don't seem like they will turn out, but the morning comes and the storm is over and you are all right. I pray each of us will be more than better when the morning after our storm comes. In fact, I will praise God for keeping us through the storm. We are whole and we are loved and we can be joyous and hopeful in our Lord.<P>Father,<BR>Holy Spirit come to each one of us and be close to us. Lord, your enemy is on the move and he roams to devour. Lord protect your children from the lion and the enemy. Lord, call us ever closer to You. Father, You are a mighty fortress, let us come inside. You stand at the door and call us, let us make the decision to come. Thank You Jesus for your strong saving arms that humg on the cross for us. We will yet praise the Lord, for His will is done and He gives us the desires of our hearts. Thank You Jesus in His name. Amen

Ok.... First let me remind you all that the last two weeks were awful... H decided to separate again.. THEN I found out he went to stay with OW all of last week.... BUT WAIT.. Sometimes the Lord has to take them away and put them with OW to teach them so don't one of you loose heart..... Anyway, here was my prayer for this weeks Tuesdays Cyber Tea and Prayer time, copied from that thread:<P><B>I pray for my husbands repentance, that he would finally come to the end of himself in such a way that his pride would no longer keep him validating his infidelity, I pray that a Godly christian man would befriend my husband and begin to desciple in such a way that my husband once again walks in a fashion worthly of being a child of God... I also pray that a huge wedge of discord is pressed in between the ow and my husband, that all conversations and contact have a negative response between them, that the ow would find somewhere else to get her needs met and realize (unto repentance and salvation) what she has done. That the oc would somehow come to know Jesus as his savior down the path of his life and that he always has a male christian mentor in his life... That I can continue having Christs unconditional, unending love for my husband and that his heart is ever pulled back towards his wife and family to such a point that he cannot stand being away.. For me I also can maintain a sound mind, and that I see healing in all of the physical problems that seem to be ongoing and everchanging, that I can maintian the energy and enthusiasm and not grow weary of doing what is good in my marriage, my family, my homeschooling and my job... Thank you Lord for listening to my prayer and petition, and I praise and thank you in advance for the wonderous answers that I will see.. In My precious Lord and Savior Jesus name.. AMEN</B><P><BR>And here are the praises and updates.... H said, "I feel like Im hanging onto the end of a thread and its about to snap" this is an answer to my first sentence. then H said, "I need someone to come into my path and help me back into a good walk" answer to my second sentence and H let me pray with him that God would send another Christian brother into his life as a mentor/support person....H and I had a really great time together in the evenings during the two days that he watched the girls for me, since the boss's wife had a baby boy on wed am and I had to work double shifts two days.... H said "I love you" to me again AND... When H and OW spent that week together it was horrible!!!! H said that they just fought the whole time and there was no enjoyment or peace in the duration of their contact.... YEAH GOD!!!!!!!! I am so thrilled... there is more, but I cant think of it all, for it seems like I havn't sorted through it all yet, and there is much more praying to do as H said he isn't strong enough to end things, so keep praying and know there is encouragement and answers to all of our spiritual warfare...<P> I've been thinking of you all too... lifting up general healing prayers alot and specific ones as I think of them.....<P>------------------<BR>Jesus is the only answer!<BR>His blessings, Cozy

What wonderful news, Cozy- I was so glad to read your post.Being up in the wee hours, alone here in my almost finished,soon to be sold or foreclosed house,because H said he's through paying on it..............H told me yesterday after counseling that he'd probably stay out all night...........he told me there was no other woman- but I wonder about the massage therapist/customer that admitted her attraction for him and has "befriended" him........he said he was not staying out with any woman, so I guess I have to believe that.<BR>My husband wants:To be happy, to be free, to be loved, more attention,to play, etc(He wrote out a long needs list- those are only the first five.....)Well, since he told me back in July of'99 of his one night stand 3 years ago, and his wish for a divorce, I have, for the past eight months,done everything in "my" power to make those above desires manifest.<BR>Now I have completely given him up to God.I guess it has taken this upcoming separation to finally completely give him up to the Lord.<BR>I do feel the weight lifting.......<BR>Also, my new Christian therapist I feel safe with,he is a dedicated married man with children,"pro-marriage" professional person that God has placed in my life to learn and grow from.He knows how much I want to save my marriage.PTL!<BR>My next biggest hurdle is this house business, and what I am going to do- I told my husband I am not ready to sign anything and have people traipsing through my home wanting to buy it, but no way can I afford the huge mortgage payment and all the bills my H has racked up.(I personally am not much a materialistic type, but H has had to have all the extras,though not too overboard because I've not expected him to buy me things.)In other words it could be much worse! Still,there is quite a lot of stuff ahead- I am trusting that something will shift here soon.I can't imagine who will let me rent with 2 large dogs and three cats. <BR>Maybe there would be some way I could get this mortgage payment lowered.I suppose I need a lawyer, but I have not enough income from my job..........well,like I said before God will make the shift occur........<BR>Thanks for letting me vent.<BR>Cozy, it sounds so promising for you(!!!)(and eventually)all of us, here on this forum. I truly believe that! Praise Jesus!<BR>MTAW- thanks for your warm hug and your support. Maybe all of us could meet someday in a general location.(I have been in here in NC for six years)I travel to CT(home) and to Florida when I can......anyone want to brainstorm- maybe a 2001(The real millenium)POAPW alumni weekend retreat!Can you imagine?!<P>hw,yes,even though God is allowing this to happen(remember,the enemy still has access to Heaven at this time)it still hurts but we can rest in Jesus' arms and know His ear is at our hearts.<BR>The pain I'm feeling now is less than the pain I've been living for the past eight months- actually the past three years.(Somehow,somewhere inside of me must have known that h stopped being my friend,when he was unfaithful, but I didn't know at the time that that was why he started pulling away.)<BR>Cozy, I love your prayer,read it often from my print out,and I do "borrow" a lot of parts to my personal prayers,re:H's possible EA with the massage therapist......Thank you(!)<BR>I know God has heard and answered your prayer- (I loved it that they fought during their time together!) <BR>Well,I'm going to go reread the chapter on his repentance now. Goodnight......... <BR>God Bless us all,your sister in Christ,<BR>Joynicole<BR>P.S. I am getting the study guide,I appreciate the time a few of you took to write the first questions out for us!<BR>Well, as they say in the movie biz----that's a wrap!

Wow-Cozy- I just wrote the most incredibly long and heartfelt post to you, and the others,---it said it posted, but never did.It's gone!!! I feel exhausted-I just can't believe it! I am going to bed..............<BR>Love in Christ,<BR>joynicole

Looks like the post has reappeared....I'm so glad- it took so much brain power at 3:00 in the morning(when I began writing)Now I feel like I have the energy again, to read "His repentance".<BR>Jn

Morning verses! Today is another new day that we can rejoice and be glad in, especially in light of how our God is answering Cozy's prayers. Thank you Father!<P>PS 5:3 In the morning, O LORD, you hear my voice;<BR>in the morning I lay my requests before you<BR>and wait in expectation.<P>PS 30:5 For his anger lasts only a moment,<BR>but his favor lasts a lifetime;<BR>weeping may remain for a night,<BR>but rejoicing comes in the morning.<BR> <BR>PS 55:17 Evening, morning and noon<BR>I cry out in distress, and he hears my voice.<BR> <BR>PS 59:16 But I will sing of your strength,<BR>in the morning I will sing of your love; for you are my fortress, my refuge in times of trouble.<P>PS 88:13 But I cry to you for help, O LORD;<BR>in the morning my prayer comes before you.<P>PS 143:8 Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love, for I have put my trust in you. <BR>Show me the way I should go, for to you I lift up my soul.<P>PS 51:12 Restore to me the joy of your salvation and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me.<P>PS 94:19 When anxiety was great within me,<BR>your consolation brought joy to my soul.<P>You don't know how much I appreciate your prayers ladies. The situation remains the same, hubby cries because he can't get his way...but I must be grateful in that is more tolerable than his screaming or swearing...It is early yet, so the other has opportunity to rear its head today. Either one causes stumbling blocks for respect for me. He says I do not understand how strongly he feels about this and he is correct. I have lost a spouse via death and I know the turmoil I went through in that grief process and all I can think of is how much time is wasted with this issue and how much more we could be doing or sharing, what work we could be doing for the Lord rather than spending time figuring out how to get past this...of course in my husband's mind, if I would just be obedient, there wouldn't be any discourse... I might end up dead, but he can't think in those terms of course, doesn't realize his strength...oh well. I can't focus on that. I need to focus on who loves me and who desires for me to put Him first!<P>Have a great day girls. I am so grateful for all of you!

Cozy - <B>What wonderful praise reports!!! Praise God, He is so wonderful!</B> God is listening to us, and I believe He will answer all our prayers. We've got to show faith and claim the victory as His already. Our Tuesday night joint prayer time has been a Godsend for me, I so appreciate everyone praying together at the same time. You know what the word says "when two or more are gathered together". We are overcomers, ladies!!! Today is going to be a good day, the enemy has been cast out of our lives by the power of our Savior, Jesus Christ. Thank you Lord!<P>Thank you SueB for posting those beautiful verses. I needed to hear those, to remind me what frame of mind I need to be in, no matter what. I especially like<BR> <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>PS 143:8 Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love, for I have put my trust in you. Show me the way I should go, for to you I lift up my soul.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> I need to pray this every morning. Sue, I'll be praying for you today, and for your husband. Please take care, and don't hesitate to leave if he goes overboard. We worry about you! <P>JoyNicole - Wow, you are really holding up well considering the circumstances. Your faith is so inspiring. If the Lord wants you to stay in your house, He will find a way for it to happen. He will provide for you. Just keep trusting and praying. You're doing so good, I am thankful that the Lord is so close to you right now. You're in my prayers, JN. God will work everything out for you, for the good. <P>Hey, that would be neat to have a POPW alumni retreat! We'll have to keep this in the back of our minds, huh. Great idea JN. I could use a weekend away from all this turmoil. <P>hw - I am so sorry for all the hurt your H is causing you. One day he will wake up and realize what a wonderful, precious lady he has in you. I hope that his weekend is filled with arguing and discord, and guilt. And, I will be praying that too. Keep your chin up, hw, we are all her for you, we love you and care about you. Yes, we do know that God allows things like this to happen, but I have to believe it is for our good in the long run. And yes, it does still hurt, hurts a lot! Sometimes I think back about all the months and months of turmoil, heartache and despair I went through last year, and was thinking during that time period "how can You let him hurt me like this over and over Lord". I hope that one day God will reveal to me his purpose in allowing all of that to happen. <P>Do you think that since we've all been greatly attacked by Satan this week it has anything to do with our increased prayer activity? Kind of funny, isn't it? Satan is defeated, and will never win, but still keeps trying, just like a naughty little kid who has to try one more time. I'm going to pull up the spiritual warfare prayer again to the top, I think we need to use it today!<P>Dear Lord, thank you so very much for answering Cozy's prayers, what a blessing to all of us! For one answered prayer gives us each so much more hope and faith. We praise you Lord, to the highest. You are the center of our lives, Lord. Thank you Father for sending the Holy Spirit to comfort us today. Thank you Lord for setting us free, and giving us your love. Please fill each of the praying wives with the Holy Spirit. Our praises are for You, and only You, Lord Jesus, you are the glorious counselor, all that we need. Jesus, your name is the name above all names, and in your name I pray that all evil spirits and Satan's powers are bound, and a thick hedge of protection is placed around each praying wife, and her family. Thank you Lord, for listening to our prayers, and answering them. Please fill our hearts and marriages with love, faithfulness, fidelity, and kindness. We thank you for showing us what you want us to do, and the path that You want us to take. Draw us closer to you today Lord. We place all our trust in You, Lord. In Jesus name I pray, AMEN.<P>