I've been visiting the MB forums every day since I found it in April. I post responses to people often, but until now I've been too embarrassed, even in an anonymous forum, to state one of the big problems in my marriage. I believe it's time for me to reach out for help and please forgive me for posting this long message here in my first visit to this particular section of MB forums. It's time to tell my story.<P>I've been married 13 years. I've been particularly unhappy with my H for the last 2 years. We're self employed full time and work part time. Our expectations of each other don't match, and it's a great source of conflict. I've made so many mistakes along the way, especially in the financial department. It's August and I still have bills from June I haven't paid. Stress city. <P>Four years ago when we started on this path, it was what my inner voice was telling me to do. I had faith in myself, my H, our dreams and our abilities. The path we have chosen is a risky one, which I knew at the begining, but it was a risk I was willing to take. Things haven't worked out the way I envisioned. I still have faith that we are on the right path, but I'm beginning to wonder if that's true or if I'm in denial. <P>I haven't been a churchgoer since childhood, but I've always considered myself a spiritual person. I believe in a higher power. I try do the right thing, to be kind to others, to give and share. <P>As for the marriage itself, well, there's a void so big it's a crevass. No sex in seven years. There. I've said it. I feel a bit odd stating this problem in the same message where I'm asking for prayers, but the associated intimacy, love and affection are also missing. Our marriage is an empty shell and extremely fragile. <P>Ss I stated before, I listen to my inner voice to guide me. It's been quiet lately and I feel lost. I heard it whisper to me that I should tell my story here. I hope I'm not in the wrong place. I always listen to my innervoice. Now I'm here, asking for prayers. I've lost sight of what I even want my future to hold. I've been praying every day. I've tried to open my heart to God, but maybe I'm not doing it right. I want to think I'm on the right path, but now I'm not sure. I'm not sure of anything and feel like I can't do or get anything right. Please pray for me. I need help!

Welcome Lonesome Heart and thank you for choosing us to share your burden with. Sounds like you are hearing the small quiet voice calling your name. So very often we spend our time and our lives trying to do things in our own power, with our confidence in ourselves and our abilities. That is a continual battle for most of us. What we often miss is utilizing the gift freely offered to us for no reason than we are loved beyond any human capacity by a God who created us for His pleasure and purpose, to be united in community with Him and one another. A love so strong that we are given free will to choose or not choose Him, a love that accepts us exactly where we are in this place and time and when we choose Him, is not content to let us there stay there in the muck but encourages us to grow, not without guidance, but with the written word filled with tools for living. <P>The struggles we experience are documented for encouragment that we might recognize that we are not alone in our struggles nor are we experiencing something that no one else has experienced. The four spiritual laws goes like this:<P><B>Law 1</B><P>God LOVES you, and offers a wonderful PLAN for your life.<P> <B>God's Love</B> <BR> "For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish, but have eternal life." (John 3:16) <BR> <B>God's Plan</B> <BR> Jesus said, "I came that they might have life, and might have it abundantly" (that it might be full and meaningful) (John 10:10) <P>So why is it that most people are not experiencing the abundant life? Because...<P><B>Law 2</B><P>Man is SINFUL and SEPARATED from God. Therefore, he cannot<BR>know and experience God's love and plan for his life.<P> Man is Sinful <BR> "For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God." (Romans 3:23 see notes) <P>Man was created to have fellowship with God; but, because of his stubborn self-will, he chose to go his own<BR>independent way and fellowship with God was broken. This self-will, characterized by an attitude of active rebellion<BR>or passive indifference, is evidence of what the Bible calls sin. <P> <B>Man is Separated </B><BR> "For the [result] of sin is death"--spiritual separation from God (Romans 6:23) <P>God is holy and man is sinful. A great gulf separates the two. Man is continually trying to reach God and the abundant life through his own efforts, such as living a good life, following specific philosophies or religions, etc. For this reason, we need a way to bridge this gap.<P><B>Law 3</B><P>Jesus Christ is God's ONLY provision for Man's sin. Through Him<BR>you can know and experience God's love and plan for your life.<P> He Died in Our Place <BR> "But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died<BR> for us" (Romans 5:8) <BR> He Rose from the Dead <BR> "Christ died for our sins... He was buried... He was raised on the third day, according to the<BR> Scriptures... He appeared to Peter, then to the twelve. After that He appeared to more than five<BR> hundred..." (I Corinthians 15:3-6) <BR> He is the Only Way to God <BR> "Jesus said to him, 'I am the way, and the truth, and the life; no one comes to the Father, but through Me.'" (John 14:6) <P>God has bridged the gulf which separates us from Him by sending His Son, Jesus Christ, to die on the cross in our place to pay the penalty for our sins. <P>And while knowledge is essential and important, we must take action.<P><B>Law 4</B><P>We must individually RECEIVE Jesus Christ as Savior and Lord;<BR>then we can know and experience God's love and plan for our lives.<P> <B>We Must Receive Christ</B> <BR> "But as many as received Him, to them He gave the right to become children of God, even to those who believe in His name" (John 1:12) <BR> <B>We Receive Christ Through Faith</B> <BR> "For by grace you have been saved through faith; and that not of yourselves, it is the gift of God;not as a result of works, that no one should boast." (Ephesians 2:8-9) <BR> <B>When we receive Christ, We Experience a New Birth </B><BR> "I tell you the truth, no one can enter the kingdom of God unless he is born of water and the Spirit. Do not be surprised when I say you must be born again. Flesh gives birth to flesh, but the Spirit gives birth to spirit." (see John 3:1-8) <BR> <B> We Receive Christ by Personal Invitation </B><BR> Jesus said, "Behold, I stand at the door and knock; if anyone hears My voice and opens the door, I will come in to him." (Revelation 3:20) <P>Receiving Christ involves turning to God from self (repentance) and trusting Christ to come into our lives to forgive our sins and to make us the kind of people He wants us to be. Just to agree intellectually that Jesus Christ is the Son of God and that He died on the cross for our sins is not enough. Nor is it enough to have an emotional experience. We receive Jesus Christ by faith, as an act of will. <P>It's kind of like one way to live is to sit yourself on the throne of life and you make all the decisions and choices and often suffer the consequences of those choices which generally result in some kind of discord or strife. Christ is outside the life, kind of like on a shelf somewhere.<P>Those of us who have asked Christ to be the Lord of our life have put Christ on the throne of life and we are learning to yield our interests, etc. to His will which will result in harmony with God's plan for us.<P>Since you have been reading this forum since April, then you have watched us in our struggles to put Christ first and to take our self off the throne again and again, (some like me are slow learners, smile) We are not without struggles but now have a source to combat those struggles, a resting place, a champion who will fight for and with us and a family of support to encourage and to exhort each other in our walk.<P>I am especially encouraged by the apostle Paul, who seemed to be a guy who struggled with impulsive behavior, a type A kind of guy, who muscled his way through the world, was the best of the best in the pharisee world and who seemed to live in a "If you want it done right, do it yourself" kind of mode.<P>If he says the following:<P> <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR> RO 7:14 We know that the law is spiritual; but I am unspiritual, sold as a slave to sin. [15] I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. [16] And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good. [17] As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me. [18] I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. [19] For what I do is not the good I want to do; no, the evil I do not want to do--this I keep on doing. [20] Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it.<P> RO 7:21 So I find this law at work: When I want to do good, evil is right there with me. [22] For in my inner being I delight in God's law; [23] but I see another law at work in the members of my body, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within my members. [24] What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death? [25] Thanks be to God--through Jesus Christ our Lord!<BR> So then, I myself in my mind am a slave to God's law, but in the sinful nature a slave to the law of sin.<P>RO 8:1 Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, [2] because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit of life set me free from the law of sin and death. [3] For what the law was powerless to do in that it was weakened by the sinful nature, God did by sending his own Son in the likeness of sinful man to be a sin offering. And so he condemned sin in sinful man, [4] in order that the righteous requirements of the law might be fully met in us, who do not live according to the sinful nature but according to the Spirit.<P> RO 8:5 Those who live according to the sinful nature have their minds set on what that nature desires; but those who live in accordance with the Spirit have their minds set on what the Spirit desires. [6] The mind of sinful man* is death, but the mind controlled by the Spirit is life and peace; [7] the sinful mind* is hostile to God. It does not submit to God's law, nor can it do so. [8] Those controlled by the sinful nature cannot please God.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>then I am encouraged that I am not alone in my struggles and I too can fight the battle before me.<P>Lonesome Heart, have you ever asked Jesus to be the Lord of your life? To recognize the futile attempts we make to do things our own way and how we fumble on the goal line? <P>You can receive Christ right now by faith through prayer. God knows your heart and is not so concerned with your words as He is with the attitude of your heart. The<BR>following is a suggested prayer: <P> Lord Jesus, I need you. Thank You for dying on the cross for my sins. I open the door of my life and receive You as my Savior and Lord. Thank You for forgiving my sins and giving me eternal life. Take control of the throne of my life. Make me the kind of person<BR>You want me to be. <P>Lonesome Heart, you are more than welcome to write to me with any questions you might have. eramhoff@home.com<P>Father God, we thank you for the opportunity to pray for Lonesome Heart, for her willingness to take a risk on this forum to lay her burdens down and no longer keep them hidden that the enemy can taunt her with them, but that she is exposing to the light what she previously kept in the dark. <P>Father, we thank you that your arms are open wide to receive this child should she ask and that you have such a willingness to provide comfort and wisdom. She has heard you call her name Lord, give her the strength to respond to the call. Show each of us how to support her through her time of trial, how to encourage her, how to connect her with resources to combat the struggles she and her husband are in right now. <P>Father, remove her lonliness and let her feel the presence of the family waiting to welcome her into the body. Let her experience the peace that you offer that is beyond description, let her feel your presence in a mighty way, let her this day be able to rest in the comfort of your love even though her troubles surround her, that she might experience the hope that we have in You. IJN, Amen.

Thank you SueB. I've read your reply many times and just now finished reading the boundaries thread. Setting boundaries is something I've grappled with for a long time. I came here at the right time. I'm thankful you were here to greet me. You put a lot of thought, time and effort into posting here. thank you thank you thank you<P>I'm too crosseyed to say much more right now. That's quite a thread going here on boundaries.

Yes, my new friend, it is. Paul tells us in Phillipians that: that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus. Some of us have been Christians for just a short time, others for a long time and yet, at this point in all our lives, God is revealing this boundary thing as the next step in our growth process. I think it is to help us better understand what submission means and to understand that we are not putting up walls with our loved ones, but walls against the evil one who loves strife in our lives and loves to twist the truth and to confuse us. I know for me, it is helping me see my husband in a new light and I honestly see some hope for our marriage.<P>Again, feel free to write me anytime you feel you would like to share something but not with the whole group. We are here for one another.

Lonesome heart, I'm sorry I haven't prayed for you sooner. My life has been a jumble lately. Please forgive me. I am so glad you chose to share what's on your heart with us. Please know that there are many loving, caring sisters in Christ here who will pray for you and your marriage. Expect a miracle, lonesome heart. Our God is faithful, he keeps His promises. His Word can be relied on 100%. Sometimes I just have to sit back and say "wow" to all the great things he is doing in these ladies' lives and marriages. Read the threads posted by emptyinside.... they are very uplifting, and will give you hope. The boundaries thread has been a treasure to me, and has really helped me find ways to better relate to my husband (not an easy task as he is 2,000 miles away). Plus knowing that I can come here and pour out my heart helps so much. If there is anything I can do to help you, let me know. My personal email is jlsr100199@yahoo.com. God bless you.<P>Dear Heavenly Father, thank You so much for your deep love for us, You are our Redeemer, our Rock, our Fortress, our Comforter in times of turmoil. Lord, I pray right now for lonesome heart, asking that You send the great Comforter to her, the Holy Spirit to ease her pain, lifting her up, giving her Your peace that passes all understanding. I know You are faithful, and will honor Your promises to us, because You have done just this for me, so many times. I thank You from the bottom of my heart for that. Dear Lord, this dear child of Yours is hurting so, please release her from her grief, and fill her heart with Your Joy. Show her Father, how wonderful life can be when it is filled with You. Lord, we stand firmly on Your Word which tells us that You love marriage and hate divorce. I pray there are no thoughts of divorce in this family, and that You will fill lonesome heart's heart and the heart of her husband with a deep love for each other, a love that can only come from You. Reveal to them the love You have for them dear Lord. I praise You in the highest, and worship You. Praise You Jesus. Lord, I thank You for bringing lonesome heart here and the opportunity to pray with her for her life and her marriage. Thank You dear Lord, thank You. You are the Holiest of Holy, and the One who created marriage and know what a marriage should be. I pray that You turn lonesome heart's marriage around, making it into the kind of marriage that pleases You. I claim in Jesus' name the restoration of this marriage. Lord, please show lonesome heart what it is You want her to do. Let her hear Your voice, comforting her, drawing her close to You. Praise You Lord. IJN I pray, AMEN.

Lonesome Heart,<BR>I can relate with you in so many ways. I don't post often as I feel my prayers typed aren't as well said as the others. They have all been so wonderful to me and I have recieved the most wisdom, understand, care, and prayers here. I feel its the best site to be at. They are all so full of wisdom they will help you a great deal, As Aw and Taj told me to let go and let God. Today I was faced in divorce court a divorce I don't want. My husband had told me he stopped the divorce. We were on the court docket so I showed up, when he calls our office today and learns that I'm in court, he says what did she do go behind my back. He thought I went ahead to get the divorce when in fact his attorney never stopped it, till today. My husband storms in the court room waiting room looks at me and says what are you doing here, I explained that the divorce wasn't stopped and I couldn't afford to be held in contempt of court, he looks at me and says oh well thats not why I'm here, he wanted to know why I was late on a loan payment, and like you being self employed and the owner takes over half of the money and leaves his wife partner with all of the bills, things will be late. He cant seem to understand this and I'm praying for God to give me the wisdom and the right words to say so he will understand how much he is hurting his business. The main reason he was mad about the loan payment was because he couldn't get a loan for a investment him and his girlfriend wanted to make. I pray that God will open his eyes, I will include you in my prayers also, focus on God and he will direct you. These wonderful woman will give you so much. They have helped me more than they would ever believe, I thank God for leading me to this site. God's Blessings and Love for you and yours.

I don't know what it is I do, but I did it again and deleted my response before I finished. It drives me nuts. and control-z did not work.<P>Okay lonesome. <BR>Sue has given you some great scriptures to ponder and they will help you tremendously. Cry out to God He is there and waiting for you to surrender to Him. He wants you to know there is nothing you can do to change the situation but that He can do everything to change it. He wants you to cry our t to Him that You need Him and you want to get to know Him.<BR>"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you. plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you," declares the Lord. (Jeremial 29:11-14a)<P>Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened. (Matthew 7:7-8)<P>HAve you seen the movie "Ever After?" In that movie at the ball scene the prince bounds across the floor to meet his love. This to me demonstrates the vision of how Jesus seeks us. He bounds across the room to ask us to dance. Then he takes us in His arms and dances around the floor. We feel His love and we follow his lead and his way is gentle and loving. When I am lonely I think of this image. After dancing with him in my mind for a fw minutes i do not feel as lonely. His love fills my heart.<BR>My husband began an affair 5+ years ago and moved out lst Sept. The ow does not live near us and until he moved out they have basically a long distance relationship. Shge comes out here about i week a month. So I know lonliness and heartbreak. But I don't feel as lonely or as sad sincve I have begun to really seek him. God is showing me how to let go. But this letting go is not into nothing but rather putting it into God's hands. He is able to change people and the situation where I can not. <BR>Jesus love is unconditional, faithful, never forsakes you and never deserts you. He is always working even at the times we don't see any progress or feel it. <BR>Lonesome He is there to love you and He wants you to get to know Him through reading your Bible and prayer.<BR>I find praising Him very fulfilling. I always feel so much better. Praising is just telling Him all the wqonderful things you are thankful for. In the Psalms there are many that are praises to the Lord. I often just recite them outloud to the Lord, as an expression of how much I love Him.<BR>Lonesome. thank you for sharing your story. It is scary. But God has a plan and a reason for sharing it with us. You have blessed us by allowing us to encourage you. There are some mighty prayer warriors here and these women are so encouraging. The boundaries thread has been so enlightening and we are blessed to have Sue's help to support our efforts and enlighten our understanding. The Lord has really used her in this manner.<BR>Lonesome I hope you will join us regularly.<P>Father,<BR>We thank you for lonesome. Thank you for calling us to her. Help us to be a support to her and help us to meet her where she is. Lord lift her up and show her the path to you. Lord you know her heart and her hurts. Lord lighten her load and fill her heart with your unconditional love. Lord, bring into her life women that will lead her and guide her to a closer relationship with you. Lord, soften her heart and bring Your Holy Spirit to instruct her in Your ways. Lord let her seek you with all her heart and You will be found by her. In Jesus name, Amen.

Lonely...<BR>I can so identify with your reluctance to tell your story. I was so embarrassed and ashamed of what had happened in my marriage..the idea of letting anyone know that my dream-marriage had turned into a nightmare terrified me. In fact, I started posting on the Plan A/B part of the forum after reading one of Dr. Harley's books that a friend shared with me....the friend of course had no idea the depth of our problems. The posters on that section of the board were nice and had great ideas on what "I" should "DO".....good advice most of the time, and I did it all but made very little progress, in fact things got a good bit worse and I was sure we would divorce. Then a friend suggested a book called The Power Of A Praying Wife (neither did she realize how bad things were, she just thought there was boredom and distance)....by chance (which by the way, I know now was God's gentle guidance) I scrolled all the way down the forum menu and saw this board...focusing on the very book I had just bought. I have also not been a church-goer, and was a spiritual person on my own. I had been saved and proclaimed Christ as my savior before the alter in the last church we were in, but never felt very strong in prayer. I lurked around this board a few days and felt compelled, as you did, to tell my story. It was the best gift God could have sent me! LISTEN to these ladies...especially SueB, AW, and HW...they will help you grow in faith and encourage you when you feel unsure about turning things over to God. When you can't pray...when you feel too defeated, too unsure, call on them to pray with you. They will be faithful friends. They will encourage you to step out of the fight , to take rest in God's love and to trust Him to fight your battle for you. I recommend that you get and read and pray from the book Power of a Praying Wife. The best thing I ever did was to stop asking what "I" could "DO" and instead learn to pray whenever I felt like something had to be done. Rather than following my husband when he left to go pick up take-out food (taking longer than expected)..or insisting that I go with him....or calling his beeper to get him to call back so I could check his location on the caller ID......rather than doing all that, I would get out my book, read, and get on my knees and pray....then I would try to let it go and trust that God would get right on it. It was so hard at first and so after I prayed I would post here and ask for others to pray in agreement with me. That's one thing I've learned is that prayer in agreement is more effective. I can't quote scripture, but somewhere it talks about whenever 2 or more are gathered in my name (well, now my mind has gone blank! That seems to happen alot these days!) Anyway, It has to do with two or more people asking God for help He is there to listen...someone will come to rescue on this I'm sure. Another thing I learned is real important is that you not forget to praise God every day, even when things are bad....praise Him and thank Him for every little improvement, thank Him for the grace he gives you to not lash out when you feel like you want to, praise him for being a loving God who is protecting you even when nothing is going right, look everyday for the things in your life that you should be thankful for.<P>So come here when you need to, lay out your pain and let those of us here help you carry it. Let the women on this board guide you to understanding your faith, and don't be ashamed or embarrassed. They are very loving and supportive here.<P>God bless you,<BR>Kim

You know, I just sit here laughing in amazement and how God is working in this forum! Emptynomore is what I renamed you girl! Wow, what a testimony!<P>And lonesome heart, I am not sure what God is doing right now, but I tell you! For all these ladies to suddenly reach out to you after so many days from your first post, I would say something is in the works! This is so dynamite!!!<P>Let us know how you are doing!

Thank you SueB, emptyinside, AW, HW, and brown for your replies, support and prayers. Sue, you asked if I had ever asked Jesus to be the Lord of my life, and frankly it had never occurred to me. For me the question has always been what religion do I choose and what do I really believe. I do believe in God. I also believe in reincarnation and karma. Although I must have heard it while being raised a Methodist, law 4 about individually receiving Jesus as Savior and Lord were words that never penetrated my brain before. <P>So, I said the prayer that you suggested -- more than once. I just said it again. I'm not sure my heart is in the right place though. I think I'm sticking my toe in the water to see what will happen and I'm holding back. Right after my prayer I add a ps saying "can I please win the lottery now so I can pay those bills still hanging over me from June??" I'm still a wretch! I'm saying the words but I'm uncertain that I believe them deep in my heart. I'm in a bad situation and I'm looking for a way to make things better. I'm giving prayer a try, but I feel insincere about it. Then I worry that insincere prayers are worse than being a wretch. Ack! Keep praying for me ladies. I'm deeply entrenched in wretchdom.<P>hmm... this is the part where I should praise the Lord and say a prayer. ... ... I am thankful for my new friends here in this forum and I am thankful for being guided here to find them. <P>(now that was sincere, but it seems so feeble! I think I'll try reading the passage hw quoted from Jeremial.) Thanks y'all for your prayers. They are needed and appreciated!!!

Lonesome Heart, write me at my email address please. eramhoff@home.com

lonesome heart,<BR>It takes a single grain of faith. Faith the size of a mustard seed. God can use it all. He is using yoour attempts now to bring you closer. If you desire to know Him if you desire to find stability in your unstable situation, then Jesus is there. He is the foundationto rest on.<BR>You are searching to know Him more and He has brought you here. He longs to sing over you..<BR>"The Lord your God is with you,<BR>He is mighty to save.<BR>He will take great delight in you, <BR>He will quiet you with His love,<BR>He will rejoice over you with singing." (Zephaniah 3:17)<P>Here are some of my favorite verses. I have not read them myself lately so I will enjoy writing them here for you. These verses always give me comfort.<P>God wants a love relationship with me. "Seek Him first and all else will be added. (Matthew 6:33<P>Be still and know that i am God! Psalm 46:10<P>"How long will you waver between two opinions? If the Lord is God follow Him; but if Baal is God, follow him." 1 Kings 18:21<P>Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all you soul and with all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment. Matthew 22:37-38<P>He is standing at the door knocking will I let Him in? "Here I am, I stand at the door and knock, If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with him, and he with me." Revelations 3:20<P>My thoughts, are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways. Isaiah 55:8<P>Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resisit the devil, and he will flee from you. Come near to God and He will come near to you. James 4:7-8<P>For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, pland to prosper you and not to harm you. Plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you, declares the Lord. Jeremiah 29:11-14a<P><BR>Some other inspirational thoughts from "Experiencing God" study<P>You can not stay where you are and go with God.<P>God's way is always best.<P>We limit God's power in our lives by what we believe and how we behave.<P>God wanta a love relationship with you. Wgat are you waiting for? He is waiting for you!<BR>God wants us to seek Him and to seek to know Him not to seek to do for us. He is God and we are the servants not the other way around. Jesus died on the cross for us not the other way around.<P>When I feel weary or feel that there is no one ther for me, I stop and ask myself. Who was willing to die for me? It isn't my husband, or my parents or my children nor a good friend. But Jesus did just that.<P>He hears you lonesome heart and He wants you to be lonesome no more. He wants to fill your heart with love.<BR>I did not know what I was doing when I asked Jesus into my heart. It was during communion one Sunday. I just said Lord, I believe you are God and that your son, Jesus died for me. I did not use any special verse or prayer. I just said to God quietly, I believe.<BR>Then two days later as I was waking up I heard my inner soul speaking words that again was declaring that I believed in Jesus. Then starting at the bottom of my heart spreading out to the top i felt a slow pain and then an incredible joy. The Holy Spirit had come into my heart and broken it's hardness. I did not expect this and although I didn't know what was happening, the great joy and the Holy Spirit within me, I just knew what had happened. It wasn't until i got to Sunday school and told my teacher what I had experienced that he explained it all to me. So lonesome, He hears you and He hears your feeble cries. He wants to have a loe relationship with you. He will guide you. He loves you.<P>Wow! emptyinside I agree with Sue you must change that name, you are not running on empty any more, the Spirit has so filled you. I found your testimony inspiriing. I needed some encouragement myself today. My whole insides smiled when I read your post. The power of a praying wife is what God wants. Painfully I have learned, all God wants me/us to do is to totally give our husbands up to Him. Say nothing to them, love them and pray for them and ask others to pray........... I am a very slow learner, and I pray that my efforts in behalf of my mareriage have not hurt it in the long run. Seek to know God first, love our husbands and pray for them, that is what God wants us to do. Why is it we always think we have to be doing something? Thanks empty for reminding me of all this... I will smile as I sleep tonight.<P><BR>

Hi lonesomeheart. The others have given you great advice, so I won't repeat it. God hears your prayers, He is listening, and working on your behalf behind the scenes. However you pray is perfectly fine. Its just talking to Him, like a friend. Pour your heart out to Him. Then watch Him work for you. <P>I accepted Jesus when I was 12, had gone to the Methodist church with my parents my whole life, until I went to a Holy Spirit filled non-denominational church in my early 20's. That is where I was baptized in the Holy Ghost. What an incredible experience. I cannot explain it in words, except like HW, I was overcome with incredible joy, which lasted and lasted. My x-husband, however, was less than thrilled, and chose to divorce me because he didn't want to be married to some "holy roller". (Little did I know that he had also been having an affair for over a year with his best friend's wife). Anyway, I'll try to describe it, but when the Holy Spirit overcomes you it feels like warmth and joy starting at the top of my head flows down throughout my body, arms, legs, etc. And the peace I feel is hard to describe. I go to a non-denominational Holy Spirit filled church that is zealous for God. That helps me stay focused on Jesus, in fact, the praise and worship service is always so awesome that I can't wait for Wed. nights and Sun. nights to come around. If you can find a spirit filled church in your area, try attending a service. <P>When I get anxious about things, especially about my husband, I pray and praise Jesus, and the warm, peaceful feeling comes over me. If I start to get uptight, I pray again. The ladies here on this site have been a tremendous help and inspiration to me. I'll be praying for you lonesome heart!<P>Love and prayers,<BR>AW