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#354064 10/16/00 01:12 AM
Joined: Apr 2000
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we spent the day driving around talking, at first I was hopeful, we talked about theology, why god sent Jesus to be like us, dicussions about faith, and then he told me has not loved me for at least 7 years and has prayed, tried very hard during those years to overcome it. Chose not to tell me,<BR>couldn't bring himself to hurt me,and because knew divorce wasn't an option. It is now!!!! Not for me!! He says he begged God for help and didn't get answers. The conversation ended with me saying, I do not want a divorce, and I am not going anywhere without the children. I am devastated, in dire need of prayer

#354065 10/16/00 04:29 AM
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Most holy Father, creator and ruler of all, the heavens cry out in praise for your majesty, the earth trembles in your shadow. My Father, infinite redeemer, hear our cry for mercy and restitution of the covenant You created. Father, soften this husband's heart and let him see a glimpse of the love you have for him in his wife's eyes. Let him see beyond his emotions to understand the commitment You have for him, the gift of love that awaits him when he looks heavenward rather than inward. Father break the chains of bondage that his depression holds him in. Let him sample the fresh breeze of contentment while he is in his home and let all air be stagnant when he is away from it. <BR>Let him feel the safety of his wife's love, let the new steps she has taken to unwind from the emeshment of the relationship be blessed in a mighty way. Let each step she has taken be blessed, the relationships she has been developing be increased in support. Father, bless Carole today, let her be filled with the sweetness of your love and let that love pour over onto everything she touches today. Fill her with your peace and let her smile at the future, content that you are in control of everything around her and wlll turn all things to the good, so great is your love for her. <P>Let her recognize that time is irrelevent in your eyes and that you use all things for your glory. Buid this sister in a mighty way today. Let her feel your power and strength today, let her rest under your wing. Give her your insight and shine your light on her path. Give her your wisdom and help her to keep her eyes on you in all things. IJN, Amen.

#354066 10/16/00 08:41 AM
Joined: Dec 1999
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{{{{{{{{{{{{{carol14}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}<P>it'll be ok. <BR> <BR>you'll be ok. <P>you are actually o.k. now, <BR>it just FEELS like you are dying. <P>you aren't, although I remember the gripping stomach heaves really vividly. <P>God loves you. <P>Your life is not over. <P>Perhaps you always believed that myth, "If I lost him, I'd just DIE!...." <P>you won't. <P>in fact, you will be over the pangs as soon as you decide what you want to do next.<P>"I WILL BE HAPPY AGAIN, WITH OR WITHOUT MY WAYWARD HUSBAND" <P>TELL YOURSELF THIS DAILY, SEVERAL TIMES. IT WILL STRENGTHEN YOU. <P>hang on to that truth -- IT IS TRUE.<P>A year ago, my h. said: <P>"I've NEVER been in love with you" "I married too young" "We have grown apart" "We thought it was God's will to marry but I think it was a big mistake on our part, we misunderstood God, if He cares or exists"<P>get my drift? it is the party line when they are having a MLC<P>I don't remember, have you read "When a Mate Wants Out", "Your Husband's Midlife Crisis", and "Men in Midlife Crisis" by Jim and Sally Conway? <P>They are available at midlife.com <BR>Read EVERYTHING on that web site. <P>Is your h. a KEEPER or a LOSER? If he has been a good husband before, he will probably return to a nice mellow partner after the storm. Decide what YOU want. Think for yourself. Get alone for a half day and decide how badly you want to stay married. <P>either way, we are here for you.... <P>p.s.At the very least, get an antidepressant prescription TODAY and Order "When a Mate Wants Out" and have it express mailed. <P>Remember, he is temporarily out to lunch. It may last 3-5 years. Do you love him enough to ride it out? <P>They usually start having regrets about 18 months into it, but they can't get over it alone.<P>just my nickels worth,<BR>hugs again,<BR>lizzie/pearl

#354067 10/17/00 10:19 PM
Joined: Jun 1999
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My dear sister in Christ Carol,<BR>My heart breaks for you, I feel the anguish you must be feeling. I want to cry right along with you! <P>Reading your post brought back memories of those days, first 4 1/2 years ago when my husband first said those same words, and the excruciatingly painful memories of summer '99 when he said them again; "I don't love you, I can't stand to be around you, you are a b****, I want a divorce" and spit in my face, among other things. <P>But I believe in an awesome God, Carol, and so do you. People can change, a heart can change in an instant. "The Lord turns his heart, whichever way He pleases" - even though it seems like the end of the world, don't give up. With man, this would be impossible, but not with God, for <B>with God NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE!</B> Dear sister, cling tightly to the hem of His garment, He will carry you through. <P>Here are some links to sites that may also help you: <A HREF="http://www.rejoiceministries.org," TARGET=_blank>www.rejoiceministries.org,</A> <A HREF="http://www.restorem.org." TARGET=_blank>www.restorem.org.</A> I bought Erin Thiele's book "How God Can and Will Restore Your Marriage" and read it in 2 days. It is based on the Word, and the prayers in it are very powerful. Pray the Word over your husband non-stop Carol. There is tremendous power in the spoken Word of God!!! <P>This is spiritual warfare you are in. Satan is hard after YOU, and is using your husband to destroy you and your family. Put on the whole armor of God, and take back what the enemy has stolen. You have the power and authority in Jesus Christ to do this. Fight for all its worth dear sister! Stand for righteousness, the Lord will reward you for your faithfulness.<P>The very hardest thing I have had to do through this entire mess is give my husband to God and stay out of His way. Becoming a quiet and gentle spirit is very hard for me, but the Lord is working on me. I have so many, many times wanted to take back control of the situation and try to force my H into doing things the way <B>I</B> thought they should go.... but I am starting to realize that God has better plans for each one of us, far better than we could dream up on our own, and I must be obedient to His word. <P>I have learned that part of being obedient to His Word, is becoming a Godly wife and mother, who looks up to her husband and respects him. And lovingly submits to him. VERY hard to do when your husband is deep in sin and an unbeliever. I have found out in the past year that sometimes God uses unbelievers to reach us. Some things my H has said have come straight from the Lord (he doesn't know it though). <P>SueB, your prayer touched my heart so. I cried when I read it. God bless you!!<P>Lizzie has some good points and I agree with her that if your husband was a good husband before his MLC, he will be that husband again. Keep praying for him. I will be praying for him too, and you.<P>Most gracious heavenly Father, our dear sister carol is so hurt, she needs your love and mercy poured out upon her. Please send the great Comforter, the Holy Spirit to her now, enveloping her in Your love. Fill her heart with Your peace that passes all understanding Father. She needs You so much Lord. Hear her cry O God, please answer her prayers. Lord, please turn carol's husbands heart first to You, with a godly repentance, then to Carol. Remind him in a mighty way Lord that he must not deal treacherously with the wife of his youth lest his prayers be hindered. Father, bring this couple back together in unity, one together in You. We stand on the promise of Your word that What God has joined together let no man put asunder. In the name of Jesus of Nazareth we bind the strongman, and spoil his efforts to destroy. In Jesus name we loose the spirit of marriage, the spirit of love, and the spirit of trust in this couple's lives and ask for a hedge of protection be placed around this family. Father send Your warring angels to carol to fight the battle for her. Let her not grow weary in doing good, help her dear Lord to stay on the path of righteousness. Thank You Lord for your deep love for us that we cannot understand. Thank You father for working a miracle in this marriage. I praise You in the highest for the turning of this husband's heart and the restoration of their marriage. In the name of Your precious son, Jesus Christ, I pray and ask these things, AMEN.<P>


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