The Lord is in charge - particularly when we let him be! I've had a personal breakthrough this week, directly as a blessing for obedience. I am so grateful for the patience others have with me, let alone our long-suffering Father. Praise God for His almightly love and sustaining power. <P>Now, sisters. <BR>This board has been all but dead lately!<P><BR>Come on! Join together in gratitude and adoration. Praise the Lord with mighty voices. Are we voiceless without our prolific and eloquent hw and AW?<P>Are we silent because we are just depressed? No vents or prayer requests? Please let us know how we can pray for you now! I'm NOT at all good at praying in print, but I always say a prayer for every request, even if I don't post along. <P>There is tremendous power in our combined faith! I know this because I lived it as a beneficiary of your wonderful prayers all last year! The support was palpable.<P>I will pray for all of you who have posted, and who may lurk without a word, too. <P><BR>Father in heaven, Master of the Universe, whose name is above all others,<P>Thank you for the warmth, support and help we all find at the MB forum. Thank you for the wisdom and inspiration and guidance you provide by thy Holy Spirit, and also by way of mortal teachings. Thank you for the companionship of family members, spouse, friends, and our members here reading. <P>Help us to see the messages you are trying to teach us. Bless the members with comfort and guidance in their lives, according to their needs and righteous wants, and thy Holy purposes. We remember those who are struggling with issues of health, relationships, employment and financial insecurity. Bless our marriages that we might always put thee in the center and live according to thy will. We now surrender our wills, our desires, our marriages and our lives into thy hands. Thy will be done.<BR>In Jesus' name, Amen<p>[This message has been edited by Karenna (edited March 25, 2001).]

I have been blessed with an increased sense of peace. Many times since last August I have asked that my heart be cleansed of the anger, bitterness, resentment and despair that I carry. Those undesirable qualities often creep back, but I do get temporary reprieves. I am thankful and offer my praise. <P>While I do recognize comfort, I feel sorely lacking in the guidance department. Perhaps my level of obedience needs to increase. Karenna, you mentioned being rewarded for your obedience. Can you share with us the ways that you were obedient?

Praying every morning and night, even when I don't "feel like it."<P>Reading my scriptures every single day.<P>Following the promptings of the Spirit to read a certain book, even after having actively resisted it for years. <P><BR>And yes, the breakthrough was a direct result of starting on reading that book. Slap in the face, but WOW has it made a difference!<P>I know that just committing to obedience in the simple things has led me to enormous blessings in the complicated things. Like family. And work.

Hello all!<P><BR>My praises would be that the Lord still has me smoke-free, God is showng me another perspective about performance based love and a bit about Grace, understanding that it is something we do not deserve but desparately need, using the following accrostic:<P><BR>G=Grace Gathers<BR>R=Grace Respects<BR>A=Grace Attends<BR>C=Grace Covers but not Cover Up<BR>E=Grace Enriches<P><BR>The challenge is to ask ourselves how <B>WE</B> can be grace within our homes, our work, etc. One point in the respect area that struck me was that respect in not the same as tolerance, which is people pleasing-respect is God-pleasing. Our speaker at the retreat talked about Ruth gathering in the barley field and challenged us to consider that the barley filed was a place of tough obedience, for Ruth certainly hadn't been placed in a situation like she presently was in while living in her former country. The Speaker challenged us to consider, during our own tough times, that God is in the barley field of our life and that we need to let our heart be Christ's hymn, his song, from our obedience to Him, while we go through the tough stuff.<P><BR>The A for Grace attends challenges us to show our faith, not our fear, that during these tough times of ours we keep praying, we keep praising and thinking as in Phillipians 4, we keep on with the tasks at hand by "staying at the table" so to speak, just as Jesus did in John 13, fully knowing what the plan for his life was, He was steadfast to the Father's plan.<P><BR>I found the C for Grace Covers but is not a cover up to be especially pertinent in my growth process, some of the Boundary stuff, how to have wisdom, etc. The Speaker used 1 Samuel 25 as an example of this, how Abigail responded to her Husband's self-centered folly in his response to David's request for sustanance.<P><BR> <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>1SA 25:18 Abigail lost no time. She took two hundred loaves of bread, two skins of wine, five dressed sheep, five seahs* of roasted grain, a hundred cakes of raisins and two hundred cakes of pressed figs, and loaded them on donkeys. [19] Then she told her servants, "Go on ahead; I'll follow you." But she did not tell her husband Nabal.<P><BR> 1SA 25:20 As she came riding her donkey into a mountain ravine, there were David and his men descending toward her, and she met them. [21] David had just said, "It's been useless--all my watching over this fellow's property in the desert so that nothing of his was missing. He has paid me back evil for good. [22] May God deal with David,* be it ever so severely, if by morning I leave alive one male of all who belong to him!"<P><BR> 1SA 25:23 When Abigail saw David, she quickly got off her donkey and bowed down before David with her face to the ground. [24] She fell at his feet and said: "My lord, let the blame be on me alone. Please let your servant speak to you; hear what your servant has to say. [25] May my lord pay no attention to that wicked man Nabal. He is just like his name--his name is Fool, and folly goes with him. But as for me, your servant, I did not see the men my master sent.<P><BR> 1SA 25:26 "Now since the LORD has kept you, my master, from bloodshed and from avenging yourself with your own hands, as surely as the LORD lives and as you live, may your enemies and all who intend to harm my master be like Nabal. [27] And let this gift, which your servant has brought to my master, be given to the men who follow you. [28] Please forgive your servant's offense, for the LORD will certainly make a lasting dynasty for my master, because he fights the LORD's battles. Let no wrongdoing be found in you as long as you live. [29] Even though someone is pursuing you to take your life, the life of my master will be bound securely in the bundle of the living by the LORD your God. But the lives of your enemies he will hurl away as from the pocket of a sling. [30] When the LORD has done for my master every good thing he promised concerning him and has appointed him leader over Israel, [31] my master will not have on his conscience the staggering burden of needless bloodshed or of having avenged himself. And when the LORD has brought my master success, remember your servant."<P><BR> 1SA 25:32 David said to Abigail, "Praise be to the LORD, the God of Israel, who has sent you today to meet me. [33] May you be blessed for your good judgment and for keeping me from bloodshed this day and from avenging myself with my own hands. [34] Otherwise, as surely as the LORD, the God of Israel, lives, who has kept me from harming you, if you had not come quickly to meet me, not one male belonging to Nabal would have been left alive by daybreak."<P><BR> 1SA 25:35 Then David accepted from her hand what she had brought him and said, "Go home in peace. I have heard your words and granted your request."<HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P><BR>Abigail's response covered for her husband's poor choice and self-centeredness in that she prepared sustenance for David, but she also didn't cover up for his stupidity for his behavior. She challenged David to not make a foolish choice of his own with theese words: <BR>"my master will not have on his conscience the staggering burden of needless bloodshed or of having avenged himself." <P><BR>And I guess the other piece that I found myself impressed with is that she also spoke the truth to her husband, she didn't cover up what she did, as I sometimes do, out of fear of my H's anger, etc. but she told him truthfully of her actions of how she covered for her husband. I don't necessarily wish for what happened to Nabal to happen to my H, but I find the challenge to be a covering of grace in the context of truth, to look at the way I speak the truth to my H so that my words are the grace that covers without distorting truth. The speakers reminder for us is to remember that "God is able to withstand your Nabal".<P><BR>And I didn't mean to get on a tangent here, but sometimes what God is teaching me is a lot. I am catching myself more to not respond to my H's folly by trying to show him the truth, for his hard-heartedness would never hear that truth in love. I am beginning to understand that though I would love to sit down and have decision-making discussions with my H, he is not to that point yet. I have allowed myself to be stagnant and fruitless, bitter and shriveled up, which is not good for producing light to those around me. <P><BR>I have been keeping pretty focused on remaining smoke-free, recognizing the various times when I smoked before, covering up feelings, out of boredom, as a reward for accomplishin,etc,. Such shallow things, so now as I recognize these things when the evil one is prompting me to smoke just one, to tempt that no one would know if I did it, etc. I am resisting him, I am finding things to do around the house to keep my hands busy, I am working on creating a sanctuary for my H to come home to, recognizing that if I asked him, he would say no... it is more honoring I think to do good things and allow God to deal with his heart. God is helping me to speak the truth and yet cover in love. <P><BR>So I praise Him for how He is teaching me, of how He is covering me, both in my endeavor of stopping smoking and also to love my H when he doesn't "deserve" it, but desparately needing it. I praise Him for keeping the Word in my mind. I praise Him for showing me my own flaws when I have a tendency to be critical of others.<P>Hugs to you all,.<p>[This message has been edited by SueB (edited March 26, 2001).]

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>And I didn't mean to get on a tangent here, but sometimes what God is teaching me is a lot. I am catching myself more to not respond to my H's folly by trying to show him the truth, for his hard-heartedness would never hear that truth in love. I am beginning to understand that though I would love to sit down and have decision-making discussions with my H, he is not to that point yet. I have allowed myself to be stagnant and fruitless, bitter and shriveled up, which is not good for producing light to those around me. <BR><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>I'm very much in the same boat. SueB, you helped me a lot last year with discussing burdens. I carried burdens that weren't mine. I identified some that belonged to my H and set them down. They've been left unattended. It's been very frustrating to me. I feel trapped in a waiting game. Every unsecured debt we have is now in collections, and we haven't been answering the phone for several months now. Does my H see any obligation to take on more responsibility in our financial matters? NO! I feel very stuck and stagnant. I don't know what to do. I say a lot of prayers every day. My level of stress last year was out of control, and it's manageable now, which is good. In terms of my actions and daily activities, however, I feel totally lost. I have choices available, and I have no inner voice, no divine voice that helps guide me. I recognize that even choosing not to choose is a choice, and I'm perpetuating a status quo that I find unacceptable. But to choose something different, I want guidance. The POPW book described times when the author would hear a response to her prayers. She would receive guidance. I pray that my eyes and ears be opened. I've asked many times what should I do, how should I walk? Months later I'm still wondering. What I am doing wrong? Or what I am I not doing that I should be doing?

You are making this hard for yourself. Recognizing that you are just a baby at listening to guidance, ask God that it be made simple for you. <P>Prepare YES/NO questions for the Lord. I find it much easier to "hear" a YES than a NO or a complicated "Go do this or that instead" answer. Once you recognize and feel the peace of a YES answer you can refine your preparation of questions. A series of YES/NO prayer requests even helps. <P>The only "problem" is that this requires to take thought for yourself, and work out possible solutions in your own mind first, before taking the problem to the Lord for a ratification or veto of your proposal.<P>Remember. The answer is in the Still Small Voice.

AMEN Karenna! <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Remember. The answer is in the Still Small Voice.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>I'm praising the Lord for instilling within me more faith in Him to endure the fiery furnace of the trials I am in. He has been reminding me that my husband is HIS problem, and He will deal with him and would I please get out of His way. Am having to re-train my thought process to praise the Lord for the work He is doing in my H's life, and look at h's drinking escapades as something God will use to reach him. <P>I just finished reading the Prayer of Jabez by Bruce Wilkinson. Wow. Very inspiring. I'm going to take his advice and pray the Prayer of Jabez every morning: 'And Jabez called on the God of Israel saying, "Oh, that You would bless me indeed, and enlarge my territory, that Your hand would be with me, and that You would keep me from evil, that I may not cause pain!" So God granted him what he requested.'<P>May the Lord bless each of you abundantly, and give you favor.

And part of it Lonesome Heart is to be obedient where you know you can. The Word says that we are to not give up meeting with one another and so perhaps finding a body (church) that you can enjoy yourself in as you worship. Perhaps it means finding a bible study group or even a a Christian 12 step program where you can continue to learn to let go and let God. There is a group called Ephesians 2:18 that has a group called life recovery that follows this model. hey have a map online that can show you where the nearest group is in your area.<P>Sometimes the Lord calls us to wait, other times we are challenged to make the most of each day. Rather than hiding at home, perhaps you might be called to work on a volunteer basis somewhere one day a week. Sometimes that outing fills you up and brings you joy in ways you could not imagine. The Experiencing God workbook says to look where God is working and join in His work.<P>Just some thoughts.

Praise report--<P>Last night, after my H's volleyball game, we're sitting in a bar with his team, everyone having a beer but me (no booze Lenten pledge, now 5 weeks, I had water, no problems) and my H in the midst of all the conversation put his hand on my arm and said "I'm so in love with you."<P>Quite a difference from last year when we were separated for the 7th time and I had served him D papers. I had been scared of ever trying again...but you know, with God, it doesn't matter how many times we screw up...He is right there with "mercies fresh every morning".<P>------------------<BR>Lor<BR>"Whatever is true, honorable, just, pure, lovely, gracious...think about these things." Phil 4:8

Hi everyone. I'm trying to write finals. Because we graduate in May all our papers are due earlier then usual. So, my presence will be a little scarce in the next couple of weeks.<P>I am praising God for He continues to pull out the roots of strongholds by helping me turn more and more away from looking at my circumstances. <BR>I have discovered I am a bit obsessional, thus ruminating thoughts that have been hard to let go of, imagining scenarios in my head, etc... So this has helped me to let go and turn more and more to God.<P>One thing I have been doing is reciting proverbs 3:5-6 everytime a thought about my h or etc,.. comes into my head. God has really been sustaining me.<P>So I praise the Lord that during this increasingly difficult time He is drawing me more and more into relationship with Him and away from focusing on my marriage and h.

I have so very much to be greatful for, but foremost is my thankfulness that God is ALWAYS FAITHFUL TO ME. I realize that my ability to fail God is far greater than my H's unfaithfulness to me (even as bad as that has been). It sort of puts things in perspective for me, realizing that God has not given up on me. I know that I love God, I think of this often and even with this knowledge, I see how I have to disappoint him time and again. But, he still loves me, sticks with me, forgives me, and is always there for me. His love in unconditional.....

praise:<P>Give thanks to the LORD, call on his name; make known among the nations what he has done. <BR>Sing to him, sing praise to him; tell of all his wonderful acts. <BR>1 Ch 16: 8,9<P>this is a great strand especially when it comes to obedience, there are many scriptures that tell us to give praise out of obedience. <P>I am learning to be a more obedient child for my Father in Heaven, especially when it comes to finances......My H refuses to give his tithe but after much prayer and struggle I have come to the conclusion that I must tithe my earnings and boy the blessings are still comming down! My children attend a private school that I am responsible for paying from my earnings, my H says if I want them their I must pay for it. usually it takes almost all of my paycheck to pay their tuition,and it is usually late cause it is due by the 10th but I can usually only pay about half by that time. the school has been very understanding with me and do know i will pay by the end of the month....Well anyway for the month of March I paid the WHOLE thing before the 10th, plus had money enough left to pre-register them for next year and still had enough to put a deposit of 50 down for the couples retreat. I don't know where it all came from, but trough my tithing God has definately been stretching my finances. <P>Praise God for his blessings!!!! <>< \0/ \0/ \0/ ><><P>------------------<BR>Irene

Lonesome, I'm praying for you and your situation. I saw these verses and thought of you:<P>"From the end of the earth I will cry to You, when my heart is overwhelmed; lead me to the rock that is higher than I." - Psalms 61:2<P>"He only is my rock and my salvation; He is my defense; I shall not be greatly moved." - Psalms 62:2<P>"In You, O Lord, I put my trust; let me never be put to shame." - Psalms 71:1<P>Blessings to you,<P>AW

Amen to the blessings from tithing! I was taught this meticulously as a child. Got away from it for just a few years, and oh the contrast! I can't "afford" not to put God first, especially in the financial area. <P>The same goes for keeping the Sabbath day holy!!!

Hello, dear ones!<P>Two major praises:<P>1) like hw, I am graduating! Not with the 3.5 I wanted, but with a 3.45! Maybe a lesson in humility?<P>2) my dear h. told me this week that he is "thinking about visiting that men's accountability lunch that meets near my office". I was FLOORED! We have made great progress in our relationship, but I have still grieved over his loss of fellowship with believers and the Lord since his A.<P>Please PRAY PRAY PRAY. I know the other men in the group, and they are strong men of God who are 'cool' enough and successful in business, so my h. will respect them.<P>Thanks,<BR>hugs to all,<BR>POGP/liz

Liz,<P>So how are you feeling about graduating. I am doing okay and trusting the Lord for all, job, housing (if we move) etc...<BR>It is interesting because so many of my classmates are really starting to panic. <P>I will miss my time at school and will continue studying etc... But I am looking forward to spending more time with my kids. I may move about an hour from here where my oldest is in boarding school. That way she could live at home but still attend her school. She is so wanting this. my girls are 'mommy girls," as my daughter recently told my h. So I am feeling the need to really work on our little family, if h is not coming back.<P>I am praising the Lord, everyday for all that He has supplied! He has really been drawing me to Him more and more, and as Oneday said, I am so grateful and thankful for His Faithfulness! I would never be where I was emotionally without Him and (a little antidepressant). But He has surely made the biggest impact. It is amazing! He helps me recall the music we have sung on Sunday in church all throughout the week! Then he has me focusing on a verse each time thoughts about the situation pops into my head. <P>Last week coming home I felt so sad. I said to the Lord, I needed to feel your love Jesus, I feel a great big hole in my being. I said that I knew only He could fill it would He come. About 5 minutes when I got off the subway, all of a sudden I felt this warm love radiating from my heart (don't mean to be dramatic, but it is hard to put into words). I felt His love and the hole was filled!<P>This is still not easy and a challenge, everyday I call on Him to fill the holes that have been there for a long time. I am realizing that there have been so many lapses in my relationship with my h and how he has not been consistantly emotionally there for many many years. I also feel so sad that he has had to wipe any memory of any good times we had together and the love we did have for each other at the beginning and on and off through the years. Also that he doesn't seem to remember anything good about me except maybe I am a good mom or that I stood by him through a lot of really hard times. <P>It seems that I have become the sum of his projections of his garbage on me through the years. That he sees the ow as his savior and everything is so wonderful that in comparison I must, and our relationship was terrible. He seems to remember only the hard times and that he felt miserable at times. Despite the fact that he knows (intellectually) that his feeling miserable has nothing to do with our relationship or me. But I cannot make him love me or talk him into anything anymore. He doean't even seem to remember that last year while we dated for a while that he was beginning to feel a change between us when she left that message on her answering machine that made my h fear that she had another man.<P>I have learned to wait on God and keep my mouth shut! God has shown me my h through His eyes, as the story in aw's post suggests. So I move on with getting on with my life, but without looking for another relationship at this time. I am not sure what i will do in the long run, and I am still confident that God can and desires to restore our relationship and marriage but I guess I've given up thinking it will be any time soon (he's known her for 6 years at this point) but they are still only spending 2 weeks a month together as far as I can tell. <P>I have not given up on God and tend now to look at it as about deepening my relationship with God rather than having my marriage restored. Sometimes I am sad, but most of the time I am confident, feel pretty up, and am looking forward to what God has in store for me and my two beautiful girls. They are my first priority after God for now. They need it and deserve it!!!!!! I need to be their secure human base after the Lord. And hopefully they will continue to be drawn into a deeper relationship with the Lord.<P>Well, I've written a small book! I am so thankful for our Lord. He is amazing and can do anything! He is so good and He quiets my heart! I have hope, comfort, amazing love and I figure Jesus is the only one who would ever die for me! How much more romantic can you get! He fills in all the spaces within me as He pulls the roots of my strongholds from me. That has been such a long slow painful process but afterwards there is such a sense of being lighter. <P>I am praying for each one of you and asking the Lord to intervene in each of your situations to bring Jesus to all our unbelieving or backslidden spouses. I pray that each of you finds peace and comfort and a place to have all your needs met in our Lord, Jesus Christ! have a great week everone!<P>hw

Hi again.<P>hw, I know it must seem like you have been in 'the school of discipleship' for such a long time, but if you could only see what I see from here...the tremendous growth in your faith and stability, well, you would be as encouraged as I am. <P>Karenna, thanks for reminding us to praise!<P><BR>pogp

Thanks Liz,<P>I do see the tremendous changes He has made in me. I know that what er befall me, He is there in a mighty way.<P>I do praise Him that He has worked so many things for good in all of our lives. I am so blessed to have become part of this group of growing and loving women in the Lord.<P>When do you finish school. What degree in what are you working in, i forget, sorry. With so much going on that seems to be me lately, "Quick write it down before you forget"<P>Have a blessed day in our Lord.<P>Thanks Karenna, I second what Liz says, thanks for reminding us to praise the Lord.!!!!!!<P>hw

Hi All,<P>Praises! Life is back to normal......yup, that is a praise for even though life has been topsy-turvy for over 4 years, I can talk about the past now minus the "prickles", Never figured that time would ever come.<P>Next praise, my job is super! I love being back with my former collegues and doing what I gave up when all "hell" broke lose in my marriage.<P>Praise # 3, my son will be graduating from seminary in a few weeks and will begin his family counseling practice, their baby is due about the same time so I will be a grandma! God is so good.<P>Blessings to all, Taj

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>The POPW book described times when the author would hear a response to her prayers. She would receive guidance. I pray that my eyes and ears be opened. I've asked many times what should I do, how should I walk? Months later I'm still wondering. What I am doing wrong? Or what I am I not doing that I should be doing?<HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>Lonesome,<P>Often when I don't know what to do I ask God to show me through His Word. I just start reading (often in the Psalms) until something "speaks" to me. It may not be the answer to a specific question I have, but it is something I need to hear. I ask God to show me what He wants to tell me. If there is a command in what I read, I look at what I am to do. With obedience, He gives more guidance. Sometimes all we have is the step right in front of us. Usually I record the Scripture in my journal. <P>Lately I've been reading in Isaiah 30<P>"Therefore the Lord longs to be gracious to you,<BR>And therefore He waits on high to have compassion on you...<P>He will surely be gracious to you at the sound of your cry; when He hears it He will answer you. <BR>Although the Lord has given you bread of privation and water of oppression, He, your Teacher will no longer hide Himself, but your eyes will behold your Teacher. And your ears will hear a word behind you, "This is the way, walk in it", whenever you turn to the right or to the left"<P>You might be looking for "too big of an answer" - like "should I stay, or leave?". See if He is not giving you a smaller step to take first. With each step, the way will become clearer.<P>From Isaiah 58:<P>"Then you will call and the Lord will answer...<BR>If you remove the yoke from your midst,<BR>The pointing of the finger, and speaking wickedness, <BR>And if you give yourself to the hungry,...<BR>Then your light will rise in darkness,<BR>And your gloom will become like midday.<BR>And the Lord will continually guide you<BR>And satisfy your desire in scorched places<BR>And give strength to your bones;<BR>And you will be like a watered garden<P>From the above I noticed I should stop "pointing my finger" (blaming), stop speaking wickedness (talking badly about my husband, for example), remove the yoke from my midst (could be a sin in my life) - and see what comes from that ("He will satisfy your desire in scorched places")<P>Anyway, that is how God often speaks to me. And that is how we can be obedient, as Karenna said.<P>Bless you, lonesome heart<p>[This message has been edited by siftedlikewheat (edited March 30, 2001).]